Taos Lightning, Nymphs du Prairie & the Necktie Social
Exploring The Lonesome Trail of Western Slang
It has been my pleasure to conduct some amateur research
into the world of western slang. So many dysfunctional western legends originate with booze. Still true today. Phrases like "apple jack," "bottled courage" and "Taos Lightning" describe liquor products of the past.
Sex may follow the Booze. Usually the brothel was located upstairs, similar to the luxury hotel downtown. Prostitutes were known as "calico queens," "nannys," or "Nymphs du Prairie " A group of "painted ladies" being delivered by horse&wagon along the cattle trail was called a "cat wagon." ...hence the origin of the phrase "them Cowboys got lucky!" -referring to the mobile sex service.
The wild west … where people worked hard and played harder. The players were cowboys, cooks, lawmen, marms & muleskinners.
"lappers" [drinkers] gathered at the "lush crib" [bar]
Sometimes order was maintained by them "barking irons" [pistols] … Ya Reckon?
There were also some unfortunate cases where matters couldn't be settled in a civil manner. Sometimes a violent incident met a violent ending and the presumed guilty party may find themselves hanging from a "leafless tree" This would be a court ordered execution.
But there were more unofficial lynchings than sanctioned hangings.
This is where my story ends. My great great great grand-pappy diXieDeer II was the featured guest of a "necktie social." I am still scarred today. [see foto]
the Disturbing Denver Party Bus
"Everything was just fine until that Party Bus rolled up." said Wilma Duvall of Lakewood CO. "It sounded like the idiotic hybrid of a Prom gone Psycho & Teen Day at the Waterpark" were the words in the complaint filed by Gus Bratcher.
This Party Bus seems so over-the top. How would companies like "Party bus Denver" find insurance for their ill conceived business plan? Below please find the denver party bus selling points [from their webpage] followed by my thoughts in CAPS
Party Bus Denver Says - "Party Bus Denver is your very own mission control centre! It's equipped with a rocking sound system, lasers and a sleek dancers pole - it's easily the most private and fun place to party- day and night."
DixieDeer replies - " DO WE REALLY NEED A BUS EQUIPPED WITH THESE THINGS ?"
Party Bus Denver Says - "Arrive to this years Prom / Homecoming in style!
Start the party in one of our exotic Limo Buses in Denver. Your limo bus will include a 5000 Watt Custom sound system and unbelievable dance floor.
Our Denver Party Bus drivers are professional and know the hottest spots to cruise while you have fun and dance in the bus. "
DixieDeer replies - "JUST SO I UNDERSTAND THIS CORRECTLY...SO THE PROM OR HOMECOMING EVENT DOESN'T PROVIDE ENOUGH ENTERTAINMENT FOR THESE OVERSTIMULATED STUDENTS! WE NEED THE RIDE TO THE PARTY TO ALSO BE A RAGING PARTY?"
Party Bus Denver Says - "Fully loaded wet bar, sound system, and dance floor you can party to and from any concert in town. "
DixieDeer replies - " HEY, PARTY BUS DENVER!!! YOU FEEL THERE IS GREAT DEMAND IN THE MARKETPLACE FOR YOUR RIDICULOUS PARTY BUS, YOUR BETTING MOST OF YOUR CUSTOMERS THINK THAT THE CONCERT ITSELF WILL NOT SATISFY THE CUSTOMERS INSATIABLE HUNGER FOR ENTERTAINMENT, SO WE NEED THE PARTY BUS TO BE THE PRE-CONCERT PARTY AND THE POST-CONCERT PARTY ??
Anyway, Im not making this shit up. Check out the Denver Party bus online.
How stupid is this???
Not as stupid as the patrons I bet
The Corpus Christi Folk Singer
My friend from El Paso is having profound psychological
problems. They are certain her problems stem from post traumatic stress. She was severely abused by her violent dad who claims years of military duty made him aggressive.
She told me that her dad is now stationed at his final assignment... a nursing home in San Antonio. Next week I plan on visiting this nursing facility and telling a lie so I can enter his room. I should have no problem gaining access as long as I look clean-cut and wear a suit.
I shall cover his face with a pillow then burn his rib with
a cigarette lighter, but I'm not going to kill him. I'll whisper to him, "I know what you did and I'm coming back next week in a special disguise to dial up the pain."
As I exit his bed I’ll explain to him that a listening bug was planted in his room. Then I’ll shove a sign in his face that reads, "Don't tell ANYONE about ME of YOUR Penis and Tongue will be cut off “
Then I will calmly exit and then chit chat casually
with the nursing staff. I'll lie to them about my past, telling them how I used to work part time as a folk singer and part time at a similar nursing home in Corpus Christi.
They will think I'm nice but a little bit self -absorbed.
Stay tuned for Chapter 2 titled “ The Corpus Christi folk singer entertains the elderly"
objectionable material detection prototype
We're experimenting with this new product called "The Barker."
This is a hand-held device about the size of a ping pong paddle. You may wave it like a wand or baton or just hold it up to items or people to detect objectionable material
Wave it near a person and if Device detects problems it will bark. Wave it over a budget and it will go line item by line item to sniff out problems. "The Barker" has multiple uses in multiple settings...i.e. social settings, business meetings, and there's even a shopping application !
but I'm having trouble with some of the detecting properties that are overly sensitive.
Powered by k8.9 industries
Nob Hill History
Billy Bear & the Bow & Arrow Automotive Company
The Jones Motor Company was established in 1939 by Ralph Jones. Mr. Jones was a good citizen and had an architect named Tom Danahy design the Art Moderne building with white stucco, summit inca red brick coping, and a flat roof. A microbrewery is now located in the old Jones Motor Company facility.
In 1944, Bow & Arrow Auto Sales set up shop just west of the Jones Motor Company. The Bow & Arrow Car Company also sold new and used cars but they were considered much less prestigious than the Jones Motor Company. Bow & Arrow Auto Sales occupied the corner lot of Central & Tulane at 3400 Central Avenue.
Competition was fierce between Jones Motor Company and Bow & Arrow Automotive Sales. Jones Motor Company had the advantage of higher name I.D., more advertising budget, better word of mouth, better product line & Mr. Ralph Jones was a prominent businessman, civic leader, president of the Route 66 Association and the Albuquerque Chamber of Commerce.
In 1944 however, Bow & Arrow Auto sales out performed Jones Motor Company. Why? Because Jerry "dog eye" Robbins, owner of Bow & Arrow , made use of a secret weapon... a one- of- a kind , out of this world, promo sales gimmick ...and to this day this point of sale stunt is still considered Albuquerque's best on -premise sales Promo.
Almost to this very day in 1944, as part of a Washington's birthday sales promotion, Bow and Arrow Auto Sales brought a big black bear to Albuquerque. Billy the Bear would take on any customer. Billy the Bear wore a muzzle and customers had to fill out a form saying they understood the risk. Customers furthermore were equipped with special gloves & were also required to wear a custom canvas suit for safety's sake.
Now the legend of Billy the Bear is quite remarkable. Usually the story is used to support the underdog. How a less known business was able to overtake a prestigious business. But I like the story for other reasons. A man named Butch Henderson was notorious bully. Butch was known for being aggressive, tough, and liked to show-off his fighting skills. He entered the ring against Billy the Bear and was having trouble exerting his power over the fierce bear. Ol' Butch Henderson got desperate. He broke the contest rules and took off his gloves thinking his bare knuckles would wound the bear. Butch began striking the bear with his bare knuckles, but instead of slowing the bear down, this bare knuckle ploy backfired because Billy the Bear got super irritated and annoyed and almost killed Butch the town Bully.
This whole promotion sort of had a bitter-sweet component to it. Though it served to fuel the publicity engine for Bow & Arrow Automotive, it also left onlookers feeling sad and awkward. There was something un-natural and immoral about albuquerque citizens fighting the glorious bear. The city council banned the practice of exhibitional wrestling bears and Bow & Arrow Automotive closed in the winter of 1945.
This segment brought to you by dixieDeer.
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Join our Pressure Group & Fight BACK !
the power of numbers
the Pressure Group
Sometimes we are powerless. Your boss may cut your hours. Your neighbor may act rude. The utility company won't return your deposit. The landlord is unfair to you.
Join the Pressure Group. Here is how it works. Describe the unfair situation you find yourself living in. Describe the action you want others to take on your behalf. Provide contact name of the target. See fictional yet somewhat real sample below.
My name is Theodore. I have been a busboy for the last 3 years and my boss said I would be the next promoted food server. But then my bosses nephew moved to town and this arrogant nephew was picked as the food server instead of me. My boss broke his promise to me and now I am mad and sad. Please help me.
Call the restaurant named DishDivine [see below] and ask the owner Bill Harmon to promote Theodore the BusBoy to food server.
Bill Harmon, owner of DishDivine, tele 505.410.77XX
Please Join the Pressure Group NOW !
Join "the Pressure Group" NOW !
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