Alibi V.13 No.24 • June 10-16, 2004

feature

The Price of Loyalty

A local Log Cabin Republican talks about the difficulties of belonging to a political party that proclaims a "big tent strategy" on one hand and opposes equality for homosexuals on the other.

At 24, Patrick Killen is a seasoned veteran of New Mexico politics. He started working as a legislative page in Santa Fe when he was 15 and today operates a political consulting company working exclusively for Republicans. He's a true-blooded party loyalist who has nothing but respect and admiration for President George W. Bush. Killen also happens to be gay, which in some circles of his party makes him as popular as a skunk at a church picnic. How does Killen reconcile his personal life with his political loyalties? Read on.

You're Here, You're Queer...It's Time to Drink Some Beer!

Get a stiff one with some help from our queer club guide.

Gay bars come and go with surprising frequency in Albuquerque. Hell, even veteran scenesters have a hard time keeping track of what's available from time to time. But if you've recently come into town or out of the closet, deciding where to spend your evening can be that much more confusing (and potentially disastrous). Don't want to end up an Alice in Leatherland? Tired of beating around the bush? Find the scene that's right for you with our lineup of clubs, bars and booze-holes that help put the "queer" in Albuquerque.

art

Culture Shock

I can't tell you how excited I am about our upcoming Ridiculously Short Fiction Contest. Submissions are already streaming in and although the Alibi's dedicated supreme council of fiction judges hasn't yet tackled the pile, I'm personally convinced there are dozens of gems hidden inside that mountain of creativity. The deadline is Friday, June 11, at 5 p.m., so there still might be time to get your ultra-short fictional masterpieces into the Alibi. Stories must be no longer than 100 words (including title, if any). Three entries maximum per person. Send all stories to 2118 Central SE, PMB #151, Albuquerque, NM 87106-4004 or e-mail them to steve@alibi.com (no attachments). Winners, as always, will be showered with prizes and glory. Best of luck to everyone. We will print the winners and honorable mentions in the June 24 issue of the Alibi.

Mechanical Bird

From Above: Images of a Storied Land at the Albuquerque Museum

A lot of people get freaked out by flying. For whatever reason, I'm not one of them. My fearlessness has little to do with any innate courage. The main reason flying doesn't terrify me is because it doesn't seem either real or possible. I still find it hard to believe that a big hunk of metal can lift off the ground under its own power. Aside from a few bumps—what they call "turbulence" in the trade—spending a couple hours in an airplane is like spending a couple hours in a cramped apartment watching an aerial view of clouds and mountains on a tiny oval-screened television.

Georgia O'Keeffe and New Mexico: A Sense of Place

Georgia O'Keeffe Museum

Some of O'Keeffe's very best paintings depict dramatic aspects of the New Mexico landscape. The terrain of our state, of course, is what initially drew O'Keeffe to the Southwest. In this high desert, she found the divine inspiration needed to become one of the most celebrated artists of the 20th century. The first exhibit to ever focus on this aspect of her work opens this weekend at the Georgia O'Keeffe Museum in Santa Fe. A Sense of Place will run through Sept. 12. (505) 946-1000.

Festival Flamenco Internacional de Albuquerque

Rodey Theatre

Outside of Spain, there are very few places in the world that enjoy the quality of flamenco performances we regularly witness here in Albuquerque. One of the best chances to see brilliant flamenco performers is during the annual Festival Flamenco Internacional de Albuquerque. The 18th installment of the festival runs from June 11 through June 18 and features such extraordinary flamenco artists as Manuela Carrasco, Joaquin Amador and Israel Galván. Most of the performances will occur in UNM's Rodey Theatre. You can purchase tickets by calling (800) 905-3315 or by logging onto www.tickets.com. For details, log onto www.feelflamenco.com.

al ad

food

Gastrological Forecast

To some of us, summer means sleep-away camp, ice cream sandwiches and catching fireflies at dusk. To others, it means Jell-O shots. I fondly remember (some of) a delightful week spent at the Eastern shore right after I graduated from high school. Somehow we found time to break away from spitting off the balcony and doing beer bongs just long enough to whip up a batch of cherry-flavored Jell-O shots. We used an Everclear-to-water ratio of about one to none, I believe, and consequently the shots took forever to gel. Luckily we were already too wasted to care! We slurped that mucky red ectoplasm right out of the ice cube trays like pigs at the trough! If any of this sounds familiar, you'll appreciate Jiggelo, a new book full of recipes for gelatin shots. You may think your Jell-O shot days are over. You may be wrong. Sure, the majority of these concoctions sound like they might only be appealing to the 18-year-old You, but couldn't the more mature You get excited about a Jell-O shot based on the classic Negroni cocktail? Think about it—not just plain orange gelatin but a delicate balance of gin, sweet red vermouth, Campari and mandarin orange segments. Wouldn't you be the most popular dad at Saturday's soccer game? I thought so. Pick up a copy of Jiggelo by Mary Breidenbach, Barrett J. Calhoun and Sharon L. Calhoun (paperback, Ten Speed Press, $12. 95).

All the News That's Fit to Eat

After a months-long spate of serving only dinner, Nob Hill hot spot Scalo is again serving lunch. The lunch menu, unlike Scalo's inventive dinner menu, does not offer dishes grouped by size (small, medium or large plates). Instead, it is a brief and modest menu that is so affordably priced even the most frugal diner couldn't complain about the bill. A bowl of gazpacho with peeky toe crab costs only $6, a housemade sausage sandwich with bell peppers, onions, mozzarella and Napa cabbage slaw runs only $9 and the fried chicken club with penne pasta salad is a reasonable $8. Stop by and check it out Tuesday through Friday from 11:30 a.m. until 2 p.m.

Santa Fe Authors Hope to Put an End to Dry Grilled Chicken

Cheryl and Bill Jamison's Chicken on the Grill (hardcover, $24.95, William Morrow)

“Grilled chicken must be the most frequently botched food in America.” So begins this new book from Santa Fe-based cookbook authors who brought us the popular backyard smoker book Smoke and Spice. For this volume, the authors devoted their full attention to a particularly worthy topic—they're right about grilled chicken; it's almost always overcooked and devoid of flavor. In Chicken on the Grill's first chapter, the Jamisons offer simple, uncomplicated methods for avoiding the most common pitfalls, advising grillers to keep the grill's lid open while cooking and maintain a moderate heat using a hand test. Other chapters focus on skewers; boneless, skinless breasts; chicken salads and pastas, whole chickens and sandwiches. The recipes range from Asian to Southwestern to East Indian and will leave you with absolutely no excuse for serving plain-old dry chicken breasts.

Sunburned? Remedies From the Kitchen Will Keep You Cool as a Cucumber

Green tea to the rescue!

This column is in response to a reader's e-mail that asked, “Could you do a little list of food or herbal remedies for sunburn sometime soon? Someone told me [to try] mashed potatoes for sunburn and I am wondering if there is something more inconspicuous. ...” Mashed potatoes? Now that's an entertaining thought. If laughter is the best medicine then surely slathering oneself in cold mashed potatoes would take the pain away.

news

Just Don't Act Out

Catholic Views on

Homosexuals vs. Gay-welcoming Organizations

The civil rights movement has undoubtedly led to a more just and equal society over the past half-century in America, but there is still controversy over gays and their place in organized religion.

Newscity

Sandoval 64 Celebrate

Nuptials at UNM

The "Sandoval 64," the 32 same-sex couples that were married a few months ago, celebrated the day that changed their lives, and the history of the state, Sunday afternoon with a crowd of more than 500 friends and family members.

Primary Postmortem

The winners, losers and in-betweens

An election is just past and summer is here in full force, but before we fully shift our focus to the wildfires blazing around the state and stories about the Rio Grande running dry, a postmortem is appropriate. Following are a few thoughts on the winners, losers and in-betweens from the June 1 primary election.

They're Here, They're Queer, They're Married, Get Used to It

Gay couples in Massachusetts are getting legally married in droves but that story is nowhere near as hot as the dubiously legal San Francisco weddings of February. Someday soon, probably very soon, the topic of gay marriage will be as tired and boring as Janet Jackson's right boob. The reason is this: Gay marriage is exactly the same as regular old marriage except they're gay. Big whup. Let the Bible thumpers froth at the mouth over how gay marriage will bring about the imminent demise of the world as we know it. Don't forget, these are the same people who predicted the end of marriage if women were allowed to vote, own property or earn their own money. Marriage between same-sex couples is simply the newest step in the evolution of a cultural institution that has been in flux since it began.

Not All Casualties Are in Iraq

"Which candidate will end this tortured misadventure the quickest?"

One of the truisms about war is that it's the innocent bystanders, the civilians, the children and the noncombatants who absorb most of the damage that takes place. We are now beginning to see just how extensive the "collateral damage" from Mr. Bush's grand invasion of Iraq will eventually prove to be.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: England—Michael Gunn, a 21-year-old student at Kent University, is suing the school for not warning him that plagiarizing is wrong. “I did plagiarize,” Gunn admitted to FOX news service. “I never dreamt it was a problem.” Gunn was told on the eve of his final exams that he wouldn't be getting any grades for this past semester's course work because all his papers turned out to be lifted in their entirety from various Internet sites. Gunn apparently felt the activity was condoned by the university because he had turned in several stolen papers and “no one spotted it.” According to the BBC, Gunn is suing the university for the return of his tuition money because he should have been warned that using already published text was against the rules. Unfortunately for Gunn, students who may be misinformed about the definition of plagiarism are given guidelines that say lifting material from other sources and passing it off as their own is against school regulations. “In the School of English, this information is provided in the faculty handbook and in the department's own handbook, both of which are issued to all students,” deputy vice-chancellor of Kent University David Nightingale told reporters.

film

Reel World

Cover Me—Closet Cinema, the organization behind Albuquerque's annual Gay and Lesbian Film Festival is looking for original art that can be used on the poster and the program cover for this year's festival. If your artwork is selected, you're guaranteed a few goodies and some great recognition. The 2004 Southwest Gay and Lesbian Film Festival will take place Sept. 9-12. Deadline for submitting poster art is June 25, so get on the ball. For more information about the contest or the festival, go to www.closetcinema.org.

Madstone No More

Art house theater goes dark, but there is a ray of hope

In June of 2002, Madstone Theaters opened for business in Albuquerque's Northeast Heights. It is some sort of fitting symmetry that in June, 2004, the movie theater has shut down. The eight-screen venue, built on the location of the old San Mateo 8, specialized mostly in art films and foreign cinema. It was there that countless Albuquerque viewers caught their first glimpse of films like Y Tu Mamá También, Bowling for Columbine, Nowhere in Africa, Whale Rider, City of God and countless others. In two short years, Madstone made a discernible mark on the our city's arts community, and many local viewers were shocked to hear of its sudden, unexpected demise.

“Come to Papa” on NBC

NBC's “Must Fill a Hole TV”

If there was any lingering doubt whether or not NBC's late, lamented “Must See TV” lineup is dead and gone, I submit to you “Come to Papa.” The show is NBC's latest attempt to fill one of many holes in its bullet-riddled Thursday night schedule. With “Friends” gone, “Scrubs” pulling a double shift on Tuesdays and Thursdays and “The Apprentice” frantically working to come up with a second season, NBC is actually taking the radical step of debuting a new sitcom during the notoriously ratings-deficient summer season. Of course, the move doesn't demonstrate the greatest of confidence in the show. If “Papa” manages to catch on and survive until the fall season, it will be a TV miracle roughly equivalent to the second coming of Gilligan.

Shaolin Soccer

Mutilated and mistreated, this martial arts fantasy is still a kick in the grass.

The Weinstein brothers, the heavyweights behind Miramax films, have been steadfast supporters of the independent film scene for decades. Recently, when backed against a wall by their mouse-eared overlords, they purchased the rights to Michael Moore's incendiary documentary Fahrenheit 9/11 out of their own pockets. The film will now hit theaters later this summer thanks to several movie studios who are collaborating to release it independent of the Bush-fearing Disney corporation ... all of which makes Miramax's longtime treatment of foreign films all the more puzzling. For the self-appointed saviors of independent cinema, Miramax has treated its overseas acquisitions with a mixture of shameful neglect and outright abuse. Take, for example, the Hong Kong action comedy Shaolin Soccer.

music

Music to Your Ears

For those of you who don't know, especially club owners and talent buyers, our calendars editor of the past two-and-a-half years, Rachel Heisler, has moved on to the hellish desert shithole that is Las Vegas, Nev., where she hopes to land a job with the Las Vegas Weekly and pursue musical endeavors. Luckily, though, we won't have to 86 our calendars, because the more-than-capable and immensely talented and friendly Laura Marrich (pronounced Merrick, like the Elephant Man) has come on board as our new calendars editor. All calendar rules remain the same, but you'll need to contact lauram@alibi.com (or clubcal@alibi.com for those of you bad with names) to continue to get your listings published for free. Good luck, Rachel, and welcome Laura! ... Whatever you do, don't miss Alabama Thunderpussy with Rwake and our own Fivehundred on Friday, June 11, at the Launchpad. ... On Friday, June 18, the Mountainside YMCA will host “Band Together,” a showcase of local bands at the Mountainside branch (12500 Comanche NE, 292-2298) from 7 p.m. to midnight. The event will be headlined by Unit 7 Drain at 11:15 p.m. and is sponsored by the fine folks at Music Go Round, so that's where you should spend your money. Look for details right here in next week's issue.

Blue Note

The Tommy Castro Band

On his first album for Heart & Soul Records, Bay Area bluesman Tommy Castro makes it abundantly clear that there's no room in his soul for blues-lite. Gratitude is marked by its staunch refusal to shove anything but pure, expressively crafted jump blues across the table, all of which, in this case, was written by one of Castro's influences. Backed by a phenomenal band, including saxophonist Keith Crossan, Castro steps his best Albert Collins up to the plate—a fiery guitar style not, thankfully, mired in cliché ridden Texas blues, the West Coast rut or the safety of the Chicago sound. Instead, Castro infuses hints of classic R&B and blues rock into this collection, affording himself songs that virtually stand alone among contemporary blues.

Sonic Reducer

Comedian Patton Oswalt has appeared in plenty of movies and on television shows from “Late Night” to “The Man Show,” but his first full-length recording contains material more akin to his HBO specials. Feelin' Kinda Patton runs the rather broad comedic gamut between dick jokes and high-brow analyses of the impending apocalypse. Oswalt handles all of his material with the same verve and panache as comedy's current Golden Boy, David Cross, but he's got his own brand of edginess. This one's a screamer by any standard, and specifically geared toward Bill Hicks' fans.

Rock 'n' Roll Over and Over and Over ...

My Last KISS Interview Ever (with apologies to Brett Baker)

Farewell, my ass. Count KISS among the many bands who've hoopla'ed their farewell tours only to quietly hit the road again shortly thereafter in search of more money, acceptance and, as KISS founding member Paul Stanley puts it, the "high." So they changed their minds. So what? Michael Jordan did it. Dennis Rodman is threatening to do it and the number of rock bands that have done it—many of them multiple times—is nearly inconceivable.

Alibi V.13 No.23 • June 3-9, 2004

feature

Helen Fielding and the Overactive Imagination

Bridget Jones' Creator Takes a Stab at the Thriller Genre

Helen Fielding, the best-selling author of Bridget Jones' Diary, has borne a new literary work. Chardonnay swilling working gal Bridget has stepped aside to allow Olivia Joules passage into the annals of her story.

news

Education Reform 101

APS draws criticism over hiring of Rio Grande

principal

Rio Grande High School is the Albuquerque Public School system's trouble child. Years of lackluster graduation rates, well below national average GPA scores and one of the highest dropout rates in the state prompted APS in 2002 to try a radical approach to turning the school around. What has transpired since is a seesaw battle that has divided the South Valley community into two opposing factions and a situation that many say stinks of cronyism.

Thin Line

Bush Iraq plan makes for inane headlines. Following the president's speech to share his "five-point plan" for Iraq, USA Today, on Tuesday, May 25, ran this headline: "'Occupation will end' soon; troops remain indefinitely." The ensuing article, of course, did not attempt to analyze the myriad problems in Iraq, but the headline implied enough.

A Soldier of Conscience

Interview with Marine Sergeant Jimmy Massey

For nearly 12 years, Staff Sgt. Jimmy Massey was a dedicated, some say gung-ho, Marine. For three years he trained fellow Marines in one of the most grueling indoctrination rituals in military life—Marine boot camp.

Urban Evolution

Downtown neighborhoods struggle with gentrification

Walking through the precincts that surround downtown Albuquerque is an educational experience. These historic residential areas are on the brink of enormous change. The direction in which that change takes them will mark their character for the next 50 years.

Church is Playing Politics

"I subscribe to a consistent ethic of life."

There is currently a discussion among some Catholic bishops about refusing the sacraments to Democratic Sen. John Kerry for not opposing abortion, thus doing the Republican National Committee's work for it.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: England—Britain has announced an independent investigation into training methods used by the country's armed forces following the death of four recruits who all allegedly killed themselves in one of the barracks. However, Armed Forces Minister Adam Ingram ruled out a full public inquiry into the deaths at Deepcut barracks in Surrey. Six separate investigations have looked into the deaths of Privates Sean Benton, 20, Cheryl James, 18, and Geoff Gray and James Collinson, 17. The last investigation, a 15-month probe by police, uncovered no evidence that the soldiers were murdered. Nonetheless, families of the dead soldiers have consistently refused to accept that the deaths were self-inflicted. This belief is due, at least in part, to the fact that Gray died from not one but two separate gunshot wounds to the head, while Benton allegedly killed himself by pumping five bullets into his own chest.

film

Reel World

Get OUT—The Center for Contemporary Arts in Santa Fe is hosting its inaugural Way OUT West festival, which the center hopes will become Santa Fe's premier queer film festival. Progressive, exciting and—most of all—entertaining, the lineup of this year's festival looks like a great start.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Stylish sequel transforms pedestrian plot into movie magic

Given the near incalculable popularity of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter books, it's probably a given that any film based on them—no matter how simplistic or slapdash—would be a huge box office success. We should probably be thankful then that the two films produced so far—Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets—have proved to be such bright entertainment. With spot-on casting, imaginative production design and zippy direction on the part of Chris Columbus (Home Alone), the films have made themselves able companions to Rowling's brilliant literary creations.

I'm Not Scared

Sharp Italian thriller says the kids are not all right

Remember when you were a kid and you got out of school for summer break? Freed from educational and parental constraints, you and your preteen compatriots were free to roam the neighborhoods, invent rules to your own impromptu games and set up your own Lord of the Flies-style empires—at least until September. I'm Not Scared starts out that way, with 10-year-old Michele and his friends spending the long days of summer bicycling around the countryside, playing in the wheatfields and generally doing whatever they please until some parental unit shouts out that it's time for dinner.

Poker? I hardly know her

“Celebrity Poker Showdown” on Bravo

I've spent the last several months trying to figure out why poker is suddenly the “in” thing. I mean, poker is great, but why the sudden flood of poker-based TV shows? Why is it now the cool thing for celebrities—everybody from Ben Affleck to Tobey Maguire—to be spotted at the poker tables of Vegas?

music

Music to Your Ears

There are so many new CDs being released by local bands that it's becoming difficult to keep track of them all. But that's a good thing. And speaking of new CDs, Belen-based band Conspiracy will host their CD release party for their debut, Cannot be Tamed, Friday, June 4, at the Launchpad with special guests ATG, Anesthesia and Stimulus. ... In more CD release news, local eclectic quartet Alpha Blue have put the finishing touches on their new platter, titled Agave Summer, and plan to celebrate its release with drink specials on Friday night, June 18, at the Range Café in Bernalillo. In the meantime, you can get your copy of Agave Summer by e-mailing snakewoodcharm@aol.com or visiting Natural Sound in Nob Hill. ... Our very own Atomic Love Medicine (whose guitartist/vocalist/Neal Ambrose-Smith happens to be a top Alibi designer) have been chosen to represent the rock genre in Cliff Castle Casino's “Spotlight on Native American Music” to be held Sunday, June 6 at the casino in Flagstaff, Ariz. ATM will play from 6 to 9 p.m. for the chance to win $1,000 and entry into the Native American Music Awards. The other three finalists representing various genres will appear at the Cliff Castle Casino consecutive Sundays throughout June. All showcases are hosted by award-winning Native American recording artist Micki Free. Congratulations to Atomic Love Medicine, and good luck!

Blue Note

Klezmer denotes a class of celebratory Jewish dance music played at weddings, parties or festivals. Solomon & Socalled catapult klezmer into the 21st century with spirit-soaring results.

The Plea for Peace Tour

featuring Cursive, Saul Williams, Planes Mistaken for Stars and Mike Park

Saturday, June 5; Launchpad (all ages, 8 p.m., advance tickets at Natural Sound): There was no rock record released in all of 2003 that was more compelling than Cursive's blistering tomé to conceptual effort, The Ugly Organ (Saddle Creek). Sexually, emotionally and sonically intense, it's a record just about any rock band would be proud to stand behind. Marking the arrival of cellist Gretta Cohn to the Cursive fold (a revolving door that's seen no less than 20 band members arrive and leave), The Ugly Organ finds the band reaching new heights—from wildly dissonant to wondrously gentle—making them the band to watch if you haven't already.

Sonic Reducer

Rock duos are nearly a dime a dozen these days, but none—and I do mean none—are as compelling as Beaverton, Ore.'s Helio Sequence. Three years after releasing their Beatles-meet-My Bloody Valentine masterpiece, Young Effectuals (Cavity Search), guitarist/smooth-as-silk vocalist Brandon Summers and Benjamin "I Play Live with Modest Mouse, Too" Weikel have evolved a more blues-drenched aesthetic that's also dipped in psychedelica and bristling grooves. Love and Distance is an all-occasion indie rock record: not too sad, not too happy and, most importantly, not too melodramatic or Stooge-rivative. Easy like a Sunday morning yet deeper than the deepest ocean.

Rage Against Martin Sheen

Friday, May 28; Atomic Cantina: How could I miss a chance to rage on Rage Against Martin Sheen after our little e-mail exchange of the past couple of week. Problem is, there's very little to rage about. The band began their set with perhaps more original songs than I'd ever heard them play previously in a single set. And said songs were surprisingly tight and punchy. The parodies eventually came, of course, and even those came off tighter than they do on record and have in the past in the live setting. All in all, the three-quarters of the Rage set I saw left me with a different perspective on the band, and I'm not even kissing ass here: I still think they're whiny babies, but at least they're rock is improving.

art

Culture Shock

Mixed-media artists and instructors from around the country will be converging on UNM starting Wednesday, June 9, for a unique five-day event designed to encourage creative collaboration and provide a fertile educational environment at the same time. Art Universe takes place in UNM's swanky new Student Union Building, Dorm Hall and cafeteria. Classes will be held from Thursday, June 10, through Saturday, June 12. Sas Colby, the event's keynote speaker, will give a lecture on Thursday, June 10, at 7 p.m. $15. There will also be an art sale open to the public on Friday, June 11, from 7 to 10 p.m. For details, call Phoenix Forrester at 243-1937 or log onto www.phoenixforrester.com.

World's Collide

Cuentos y Encuentros at the National Hispanic Cultural Center

Ray Martín Abeyta grew up in a tiny northern New Mexican town with a larger-than-life name—La Villa Real de Santa Cruz de la Cañada. As a teenager, Abeyta attended high school in Española, the low rider capital of the universe. Later, he studied art in an academic setting at UNM, and he also traveled extensively in France, Guatemala, Panama and Peru. An upbringing saturated in New Mexico's provincial Hispanic culture combined with a deep exposure to global art affected Abeyta's later work on many complex and subtle levels.

Insight Out

Center for Contemporary Arts

In 2001, a vandal damaged approximately 600 books at the San Francisco Public Library. The destroyed books were apparently chosen by topic, those which included gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender issues, HIV, women's health and other "controversial" manuscripts. The vandal reshelved the books, and it took some time before they were noticed. Luckily, the man was caught and sentenced to community service, probation and a fine of $9,600.

Twist

Coleman Gallery

Take three artists who are in the thick of their self-realization phases, put their art together for one grand exhibit, and you'll have a gallery full of abstract beauty that may give a new face to art through the eye of the self.

Past is Prologue

An Interview with Historian Marc Simmons

With more than 40 books on the Southwest to his credit, Marc Simmons has been called New Mexico's historian laureate. Although this isn't an official title, it's one he richly deserves. For decades Simmons has dug deep into our region's past and come up with striking and highly readable books on local history.

food

Gastrological Forecast

If you have a headache, most likely you're dehydrated. Try making that noggin' stop throbbin' by drinking a couple tall glasses of water. The pain will probably be gone before the ibuprofen would have kicked in. Likewise, if you're feeling like a cranky old hag you might do well to eat something before you flip out and go loco in line at the gas station. Yeah, I know, everybody's on a diet. But part of “watching what you eat” means watching that you eat. Grab a Power Bar at the convenience store. Put a bunch of bananas on your desk every Monday morning. Stick some yogurt in the office fridge. Me, I rarely have this problem because I am constantly snacking. One warning: snacking all day long on Doritos and Hershey's Kisses will give you a caboose Amtrak would envy. Believe me, I know. But it's easy to control what you snack on if you shop for the stuff after lunch. Try picking up some snap peas, baby carrots, beef jerky or Cheerios. Candy bars and other super sugary snacks will only make you crash worse later. Eat protein or a small amount of carbs and you'll satisfy those mid-meal cravings while doing the body some good. Plus, you'll spare yourself the agony of a low-blood sugar-induced midday shitfit.

All the News That's Fit to Eat

Cocina de Manuel is the name of a New Mexican restaurant in the old Rex's Hamburgers space at Coors and Central. Manuel Chavez, of the eponymous restaurant, was formerly the owner of El Camino Dining Room (6800 Fourth NW), which he sold after 21 years at the helm. “I sold it and then I took a year off to golf and fish,” Chavez explained, “but even golfing and fishing get boring after a while.” Though Cocina de Manuel, housed in a strip mall, doesn't have the old Route 66 charm of Los Ranchos' El Camino Dining Room, Chavez says he's cooking pretty much the same stuff he used to and that he's tried to replicate the friendly feel of his old place. El Camino Dining Room is still open and catering to much of the same neighborhood crowd it has always served. Check out Cocina de Manuel for good old-fashioned New Mexican breakfast or lunch, Tuesday through Sunday, 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. Call 831-4435 for take-out orders.

The Low-carb Craze is Ruining Food for the Rest of Us

Don't blame the bagels!

Americans have no shortage of things to be prejudiced against: races, religions, men who cut the sleeves off their shirts. Quietly, a new type of discrimination has swept the nation. Not only are the slurs and harassment painful, but they're dividing us—we're rapidly choosing sides, making meaningful debate nearly impossible.

Alibi V.13 No.22 • May 27-June 2, 2004

feature

Death by Laughter

Mark Chavez and Shenoah Allen Prepare for Prime Time

Two clean-cut lads stumble onto a brightly lit stage in their pajamas. They look out at the packed audience, then glance nervously at each other. After several moments of awkward silence, it becomes clear that they have no idea what they're doing there. It's like a bad dream, except funnier because it's happening to someone else.

news

At Least the Frogs are Happy

While summer pool season commences this weekend, Rio Grande pool sits dormant for another year

In our sun-scorched climate, there is perhaps no greater gift from the taxpayers to local kids than a refreshing and affordable public swimming hole—when it's open.

Making Bad Traffic Worse

Will the city ever get serious about managing growth?

I recently walked a mile in another man's shoes. Or more accurately, I drove 10 miles on Coors Boulevard during rush hour, and must say I have a better appreciation for what Westsiders go through every day.

Eternal Sunshine of the Political Mind

Romero and Nelson contend for a shot to unseat Wilson

Supposedly, Bernalillo County Democrats are flaming mad about the current state of affairs in Washington, D.C., and are geared up, actually more than years past, to defeat Republican Heather Wilson this November. After all, she is a special case, because unlike most incumbents, she's vulnerable. They say Wilson is a phony like George W. Bush—she says she's for jobs, health care, environmental protection, education and supporting the Bill of Rights, and blah, blah, blah, but when you look at the record, all that rhetoric is just a sham. In reality, she's more like a sycophant in Dick Cheney's court than an independent, genuine New Mexican. And enough is enough!

VOTE!

There are a whole host of Republican and Democratic primary elections happening on Tuesday, June 1, which means it's time to do your civic duty and go to the polls. If you're not registered, or think you are but don't know what party you belong to, then you should stop reading now and go back to your feckless, vanity-bit existence.

Death by Asphalt

The May 17 council meeting passed legislation revamping the Police Oversight Commission, updating a property wall ordinance, and authorizing budgets, bonds and goals. Chief Financial Officer Gail Reese's report on negotiations with developers of a proposed downtown arena raised serious questions about the eventual cost of the project. But the gut-wrenching, crowd-drawing issue at the seven-hour meeting was the proposed Paseo del Norte extension through the Petroglyph National Monument.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Germany—A couple who went to a fertility clinic after eight childless years of marriage have been advised to try a radical new approach to impregnation: sex. Doctors at the University Clinic of Lubek subjected the couple to a series of examinations and found they were both apparently fertile and should have had no trouble conceiving. It took some time, but doctors eventually got to the root of the problem. According to a clinic spokesman, “When we asked them how often they had had sex, they looked blank and said, ’What do you mean?'” The devoutly religious couple apparently had never gotten the “birds and the bees” talk. “We are not talking retarded people here,” said the clinic spokesman, “but a couple who were brought up in a religeous environment who were simply unaware, after eight years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary to procreate.” The 30-year-old wife and her 36-year-old husband are now being given sex therapy lessons at the clinic.

film

Reel World

Louie's Relocates—Louie's Rock-N-Reels, Albuquerque's premiere destination for movie posters, celebrity photographs and all sorts of cinematic memorabilia has long been a Nob Hill staple. Long-time customers may have noticed that the store's location next to the old Lobo Theater has looked a tad empty in the last couple of weeks. That's because owner Louie Torres has packed up his posters and moved to a brand new location. After eight years in Nob Hill proper, the landlords decided they had different ideas for the Rock-N-Reels space, and Louie was forced to move on to (hopefully) greener pastures. The new store is located directly across from the UNM campus at 105 Harvard SE (right behind The Zone). Louie calls the new space “a little bit more intimate,” but promises that all your favorite classic and current movie posters will still be on display. In order to celebrate the new location, Louie will be giving away some very rare promotional posters. Come by the store and register to win a Lenticular 3-D Spy Kids poster or metallic foil Matrix Reloaded poster. The drawing will be held July Fourth weekend.

Blind Shaft

Coal-black Chinese film noir digs deep into economic desperation

Blind Shaft, a sparse film noir drama out of China, spends much of its time looking like a WPA photography project from the Great Depression. Shot documentary style on 16mm, the film feels painfully authentic. Which is more than appropriate. Bleak, barren and robbed of all but the most ashen of colors, the film trains its eye on China's poorest, most downtrodden citizens.

Super Size Me

Fast food documentary gets to the bottom of an American problem

Last month, McDonald's dropped its long-standing “Super Size” promotion, featuring gigantic French fries and towering sodas. The company says the decision had nothing to do with the Morgan Spurlock's scabrous but entertaining new documentary Super Size Me, which implicates McDonald's (and the entire ubiquitous fast food industry) in the super-sizing of American asses. Perhaps, as McDonald's says, the timing is just coincidental. Still, it makes you think.

Fallen idol

“American Idol” on FOX

By the time this column hits the streets, the third season of “American Idol” will be over. We'll know whether Diana DeGarmo or Fantasia Barrino will perform at next year's Super Bowl and then vanish from our pop culture radar. This season may be remembered a microsecond longer than the others, however, due to a swirl of timely controversy.

music

Music to Your Ears

Man, if there's one thing El Paso's Lylah should never have done, is cover a Cure song, especially “Love Song.” But all's (mostly) forgiven, because the rest of their forthcoming album, New Religion, is solid and original. They'll be foisting said record upon the public on Saturday, May 29, at Puccini's Golden West Saloon or El Rey Theater (the press release was unclear). The record is also available at the angry teenager headquarters, Hot Topic, and Lylah will perform on the 2004 Vans Warped Tour. ... Speaking of new local records, The Mindyset (pictured above) releases theirs this week and the best band in the world called the Saddlesores have dropped their third release in 14 years on us. Titled Let it Suck, the album will be officially partied into existence on June 19 at the Atomic Cantina with Fast Heart Mart and the Rivet Gang in tow. Preview to follow in the coming weeks. ... Also on the new local album radar is Nels Andrews, who thus far has provided me with two copies of his new album that refuse to play on any CD player I own. However, if his live show is any indication, Andrews' record is one of the best local releases out there. ... Oddly, The Foxx still do not have a record deal. The world is stupid. ... Saw Dark Lotus last week (ridiculous, but funny) at the Sunshine. Also saw Unit 7 Drain (killer set plagued by early sound problems) open for the semi-acoustic New Model Army (boring!) at the Launchpad. Can't fucking wait for the Rage Against Martin Sheen show on Friday, May 28! Review forthcoming.

Blue Note

Good God Almighty!

Outpost Ends its Spring Season with Gospel and Blues

As God and just about everyone in the Western world relish the seventh day as one of rest, televised sports, worship and/or yard work, brothers Chuck and Darick Campbell of the Campbell Brothers are hard at work. With the former on pedal steel and the latter on lap steel, the Campbell Brothers (also featuring brother Phil on guitar, his son Carlton on drums and gospel vocalists Denise Brown and Katie Jenkins) turn traditional African American gospel tunes into works of divinity—combining otherworldly energy and miracle talent to achieve a degree of spirituality through music few will ever achieve by any means. This is no average blues-gospel band. The Campbell Brothers, as the deeply religious occasionally say, are touched.

Sonic Reducer

It's too bad that most of the lyrics on Darkest Hour's latest platter are indecipherable from guttural growling and low frequency shrieking, because the band have a whole lot of social commentary to get off their collective chest. The lyrics are printed on the J-card, but you'll need LASIK to read them. On Hidden Hands ... the band have reached a new pinnacle of intelligent, melodic brutality—a perfect balance of thrash, hardcore and death metal. You'll be hard-pressed to find a tighter, more complex set of songs than the nine here.

art

Culture Shock

A couple pieces of wood, a roll of canvas and some oil paint: $104 million. On Wednesday, May 5, at Sotheby's auction house in New York, an anonymous bidder purchased Pablo Picasso's "Garcon a la Pipe" ("Boy with a Pipe") for this whopping sum, making it the new record holder as the world's most expensive painting.

Inside Out and Upside Down

Inversion at [AC]2

Descartes argued that the human body and the human mind are separate, but his theory never quite held up under close philosophical scrutiny. Given the structure of our nervous systems, it seems obvious to many scientists that the mind and body can't possibly be distinct—one can't exist without the other.

aldizorontophoskyphorniostikos: beauty in all things

South Broadway Cultural Center

The vague and oft confusing realm commonly known as the unknown can teach us more than we realize—if we let it. Understanding life's accidents can fill in the blanks that everyday, structured reality delivers. At least that's the belief held by the artists featured in the new aldizorontophoskyphorniostikos: beauty in all things exhibit.

Paintings by Gary Eugene Jefferson

Outpost Performance Space

Los Angeles native Gary Eugene Jefferson's original, mural-sized still life, figurative and abstract paintings have been exhibited everywhere from New York City to Denmark, and with good reason. Having studied in both America and France, Jefferson combines traditional themes such as slavery, women's rights and African American culture with his European art influnces, which include Michelangelo, Vermeer and Van Gogh. His depictions of history's most troubling and chaotic times, combined with a vast knowledge of art history and an aptitude for abstract expressionism, have touched the hearts of hardcore critics as well as the part-time art lover. Jefferson's exhibit will be shown at the Outpost's Inpost Artspace starting today, and a reception will be held Friday, June 4, from 5 to 7 p.m. Runs through July 9. 268-0044.

food

Gastrological Forecast

I love meeting friends' parents when they come to town. It's often enlightening but it was especially educational last week when I had the pleasure to dine with the parents of a Pakistani friend. His mother cooked a feast and after we'd all been stuffed to the gills with curry, ice cream was served. As we savored bowls of Ben and Jerry's, I cornered the patriarch to talk shop—many years ago he had been the first dairy farmer in Pakistan to pasteurize his milk. After moving to America he continued his dairy work, branching out into yogurt and ice cream. It's not often I get to share a pint of New York Super Fudge Chunk with a dairy farmer so I seized the opportunity to ask him some burning questions like, "What is the difference between whipping cream and heavy cream?" The result of our very long conversation is this: cream labels are terribly misleading. Heavy cream is also known as heavy whipping cream, which is actually better for making whipped cream. Whipping cream (or light whipping cream) is capable of being whipped, unlike milk or half-and-half, but it makes a lighter, less stable whip. If none of this makes any sense just look for the percentage of fat on the cream carton. You'll need at least 30 percent fat in order to whip it. Mmm, whip it good.

All the News That's Fit to Eat

Nob Hill's Korean BBQ House (Central Avenue and Bryn Mawr Drive) is giving new flavor to the concept of outdoor grilling. This June the restaurant will unveil 11 patio tables equipped with small, Korean-style barbecue grills in their centers. The tables, with stainless steel tops and wooden legs made from reclaimed wine barrels, will allow customers to grill their own meats in the traditional Korean fashion. The BBQ House will also be open for dinner on Sundays starting in June. Call 338-2424 for information.

Why Every Woman Old Enough to Read This Should be Thinking About Folic Acid

Cuz it's, like, really important and stuff

This month, the Centers for Disease Control reported that their efforts to fight birth defects with folic acid have been largely successful. How successful? In January of 1998, it became mandatory for food manufacturers to fortify grain products (like enriched rice, cereals, breads and pastas) with folic acid. By December of that year, incidences of the birth defect spina bifida had decreased by 31 percent. "Impressive," you say, "but I'm not banking on having kids anytime soon ... what do I care?"

Frosty, Fruity Drinks for Summer

Dust off that blender, stat!

Ice, lime juice, booze. That's our prescription for the ugh-it's-really-getting-hot feeling that seems to have crept up on us all of a sudden. If all you can think about are Otter Pops, Slurpees and sno-cones then these pulverized potions are for you. Have a seat out on the patio, turn the sprinklers on and sip one of these refreshing cocktails. You'll be cooled off (and pretty buzzed) in a flash. Leave out the booze and you've got delish mocktails that'll please kids, twelve-steppers and pregnant ladies.