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The Daily Word in taxes, divorce, and human head transplants

The Daily Word

Good morning! It’s April 15, 2015

And it is Tax Day!

The Hugo Awards for science-fiction literature have become yet another cultural battleground as an organization called the “Sad Puppies” attempt to game the system away from rewarding “literary” works and those that portray “minority or victim groups,”

Getting a divorce can give you a heart attack, especially if you’re a woman,

UNM’s student government will be eliminating all gender specific pronouns from their constitution,

A pharmacist at a Georgia Walmart declined to fill a woman’s miscarriage medication because she “couldn’t think of a valid reason why you would need this prescription”

Arkansas police are installing spyware on lawyers’ computers,

And a man with a degenerative disease is “excited” to be first in line for a head transplant.

Have a great day!

news

The Daily Word in DANCE PARTY

The Daily Word

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pretty bummed out after watching that video of the cop shooting the dude in the back.

That’s why I’m taking extraordinary action and declaring that today’s Daily Word will be a special

DANCE

PARTY

EDITION!!!

Dance, doggy!

Dance, twins!

Dance, horse!

Dance, bird!

Dance tweens!

and finally,

DANCE, DUANE, DANCE!

Special secret magic! Play all these videos at once while posting them on your friends' facebook walls, and exactly %.5 of the world's misery will melt away!

news

The Daily Word in Colorado's famous green chile

The Daily Word

Good morning, it’s April 1, 2015

And Colorado is trying to steal our chile,

Mayor Berry announced the latest bike-friendly improvement for our city: painting bike lanes turquoise,

A kid’s party at a Chuck E. Cheese turned into a brawl, which is totally understandable if you’ve ever been to a Chuck E. Cheese,

A former German policeman was convicted of murdering and eating another man, even though the man wanted him to, and also he was really hungry,

you can buy a special Voltron just for your cats,

Game of Thrones is coming back soon, so you’d better spend some time playing with the Game of Thrones Catch-Up-Machine,

And, of course, it’s April Fool’s Day, so uh, your shirt’s on fire.

Now it’s out.

news

The Daily Word in the crimes of Blanco Diablo

The Daily Word

Good morning, it’s Wednesday, March 25

and drug dealer Eugene Crane, aka “Blanco Diablo” aka “The Boogie Man,” has been arrested for allegedly wrapping the body of one of his customers in plastic and then dumping her in an empty lot near Roller Skate City after the woman overdosed. Before dumping her, but after she died, he allegedly made time to join his family for dinner,

Geologists with the United States Air Force are set to begin construction on a well to extract poisonous chemicals from Albuquerque’s water supply. The well will be located in a church parking lot, right next to the basketball court,

the Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg wonders if it’s time for “the Jews to leave Europe,”

a Detroit eviction crew discovered the corpses of two children stashed in a deep freeze inside of a vacant apartment. The mother of the children has been taken into custody,

in some of the least depressing news to come out of Iraq, ISIS apparently blew up Saddam Hussein's tomb,

a baby eagle hatched live on eagle-cam,

and a restaurant in Africa has closed down after attracting negative attention for their “no blacks” policy.

news

The Daily Word in St. Patrick's Day

The Daily Word

Good morning, it’s Tuesday, March 17,

which is St. Patrick’s Day! So celebrate with a bottle of Killian’s, a bowl of Lucky Charms, a shamrock shake, some green beer, and other things that piss off Irish people.

In fact, most of what you know about St. Paddy’s Day is a lie. A LIE.

Brush up on the real St. Patrick here.

And if you seek authenticity, don’t forget to eat your parsnips!

Maybe you can find some at local Albuquerque restaurants that are celebrating Restaurant Week?

Meanwhile, the New York St. Patrick’s Day Parade is, for the first time, allowing an LGBT group to march. That’s right, one LGBT group is allowed to march, and it happens to be made up of employees of NBC, the network that threatened to boycott coverage of the parade if they didn’t.

Finally, dentists are excited about the holiday because so many people get into bar fights that result in the loss of teeth. So support your local dental clinic and mouth off to a drunken leprechaun tonight!

feature

Best of Burque voting begins!

Attention residents of Albuquerque!

For over two decades, the Weekly Alibi has asked YOU to help us honor the very best that our unique city has to offer. Well, it’s that time again. From art galleries to vape shops; from best politician to best local band, this is your chance to let the world know what you love about Burque.

Just log in and fill out the ballot. It’s that easy!

news

The Daily Word in Breaking Bad pizza, iPhone hacking and court-mandated circumcision

The Daily Word

Good morning, it’s Wednesday, March 11,

and the New Mexico senate has killed an anti-union bill,

Sandia Labs is trying to hack into your iPhone,

Breaking Bad fans keep throwing pizzas on some lady’s NE Heights home,

video game designers still don’t know how boobs work,

members of the University of Oklahoma’s SAE fraternity are sorry for being so racist,

and a Florida woman is running from the law because she doesn’t want her 4-year-old son circumcised.

Have a great day!

news

The Daily Word in Mt. Everest's poop problem, PARCC protests and National Grammar Day

The Daily Word

Good morning, it’s Wednesday, March 4,

and Mt. Everest is covered in shit and corpses,

a “party bike” will soon be wobbling through the streets of Downtown Albuquerque, bringing up to 14 drunken pedalers to the pubs of there choice,

the man who invented Keurig coffee makers thinks the disposable single-use coffee packets are to expensive and bad for the environment,

people on the Internet are still assholes,

APS is threatening to criminally charge students who protest the controversial PARCC test,

and its National Grammer Day, everybody! Check out Grammar Girls’ editing checklist here and then post all the errors you find in today’s Daily Word in the comments below. Whoever finds the most errors will win a heaping helping of smug self-satisfaction!

news

The Daily Word in Men's Rights, cryptozoology, PARCC and Tom Joles

The Daily Word

Good morning, it’s Wednesday, February 25,

and KOB anchorman Tom Joles is having a time-out after a rumored physical altercation with one of his fellow reporters,

it turns out that even beatniks can be beautiful,

a GQ reporter visited a “Men’s Rights” conference and found out that those guys are kind of a bunch of assholes,

2 million cars in the US are outfitted with remote-shut-off technology that can, and has been, hacked,

aiming laser pointers at police helicopters remains a great way to get arrested, even if you say you're sorry,

students and parents continue to protest an upcoming standardized test,

and a local researcher says the uptick in chupacabra sightings is due in part to global warming.

Have a great day!

Alibi Podcast

The Alibi's Not-Quite-Weekly Podcast #6: Special super sexy edition!

Our totally not-weekly podcast returns! For this episode, we sat down with Matie Fricker of Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center and discussed the results of our 3rd Annual Reader Sex Survey. From secret turn-ons to affirmative consent, the discussion went to some very interesting and sometimes personal places.

Check it out!

Today's Events

Kate and Billy's Medicine Show at Adobe Bar at the Historic Taos Inn

Shadows of Liberty at Albuquerque Center for Peace and Justice

Beer For A Better Burque Nonprofit Night at Tractor Brewery Wells Park

More Recommented Events ››
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    Ladie's Night Out Class
    Ladie's Night Out Class5.16.2015