With the help of skilled drivers, a few dozen homosapiens on the West coast of North America transported small metal statuettes back to their lavish dwellings in elongated automobiles.

Why was Joan Rivers left out of the 'In Memorium' montage of The Oscars?

How do they pick the Oscar Winners?

11 students at Wesleyan were hospitalized after overdosing on MDMA, also known as 'Molly.'

A driver crashed into an electrical pole that knocked out the power to Tingley Coliseum right before the Monster Truck Jam. The intentional crashes of the spectacle were unaffected.

Why were these weird food patents unsuccessful?

The already questionable reputation of Downtown Albuquerque is being tarnished by late-night brawls.

Poor little spaceport.

If anyone knows what will destroy human civilization, it’s Stephen Hawking.

Are You More Like Jennifer Lawrence Or Emma Stone? Take the quiz!

Peter Fonda turns 75 today!

ISIS chopped more heads and threatened to conquer Rome for some reason.

Weaponized weather control is a possibility and a concern.

Party down at Studio 54.

Earth’s oldest living people share their secrets of longevity.

Don’t wear one of these gun t-shirts in Albuquerque, is my advice.

Scientists have discovered how to see through walls.

Who is box office champ of all SNL stars?

As the flick turns 30, here are 15 things you didn’t know about The Breakfast Club.

Interplanetary reality show set to launch: If you need me, I'll be on Mars.

Does the thought of having to live without Fido someday tear you apart inside? You can now custom order a stuffed animal that looks exactly like your pet.

Russian girls gone wild, and it's not pretty.

This pretty model bit it twice on the cat walk and kept on smiling. Happy Birthday, Agyness Deyn!

Wish you were here: Postcards from lands far, far away.

Boldly going where no man has gone before; every child’s favorite bibliophile turns 58 today. Live long and prosper, LeVar Burton!

Here's a clip of Jimmy Fallon as Jim Morrison, performing the theme song of Reading Rainbow.

Exculpating evidence suggests no criminal charges will be filed in the Bruce Jenner traffic fatality.

Kanye tried to interrupt Beck’s Grammy Award accpetance speech.

I am so tired of all the complaining.

Go, Riverdale.

What would you pay for Abe Lincolns hair?

Learn how to escape from a moving car.

When you microwave humans the brains are always cold in the middle.

Goodbye, Tent City.

A shoplifter was shot on Menaul.

Happy birthday, Brian Donlevy.

You're probably cleaning your vagina all wrong.

Your Samsung TV might be spying on you. No, seriously. It's listening.

It's a sad day for Chinese food and fast locomotives.

New England has run out of places to put snow.

Blood type and brain function: something else to worry about.

Ozzy Osbourne's bat karma has caught up to him.

Darth Vader's toilet is free on Craigslist in Albuquerque.

The Patriots won the Super Bowl.

The Super Bowl commercials were bland this year.

Bruce Jenner is transitioning into life as a woman.

A new dinosaur was discovered in China.

An Albuquerque toddler shot his parents with a handgun.

Here are the rules for buying food with love at McDonald’s.

Tablets and phones might damage toddlers’ brains.

Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning.

Here are five things you didn’t know about Groundhog Day, the movie.

A ‘Power Rangers’ actor is accused of killing his roommate with a sword.

Our next alibi issue is our special love issue and will feature sex toy reviews by members of the alibi staff. In the meantime, here are a few sex toys you may want to stay away from.

Vladimir Putin has resumed the war in Ukraine.

Back in December, the Russian court banned the music and artwork of Cannibal Corpse.

You can see Cannibal Corpse in the land of the free tonight at the Sunshine theater, along with Behemoth, Aeon, and Tribulation.

If you hear voices in your head you should talk back to them.

A “Death Test” at hospitals would give elderly patients a choice.

Three pet ferrets chewed a baby’s face off.

A baby in Arizona was born without eyeballs.

Eddie Van Halen turns 60 today!

A serious blizzard is hitting the Northeastern part of the U.S.

Blizzard of Ozz is a seriously amazing album that came out in 1980. It marked the debut of Ozzy Osbourne's solo project, and featured the late, great Randy Rhoads on guitar.

Here's how to tie a neck tie 30 different ways.

Prehistoric Shark Alert!

Sarah Palin claims to be interested in running for President in 2016.

Here are 5 of Sarah Palin’s most insane and incoherent moments.

And the most dangerous sex position is:

Today is Blue Monday, the saddest day of the year.

It’s also MLK Day.

It’s also the last day of business for Blackbird Buvette.

The Seahawks will face the Patriots in Super Bowl XLIX.

Liberace’s hologram is going on tour.

Tiger Woods’ front tooth is missing.

The Jesus Bandit remains at large in Hawaii.

There was live sex on stage at a Dead Kennedys concert.

There’s no such species as a black panther.

”The X Files” is coming back to TV with Mulder and Scully.

Here’s what guitar strings do.

You’ll be surprised by some of these amazingly cheap movie props.

Deep-fried batteries are the future.

You remember things better with your eyes closed.

More knockouts at Knockouts.

A strange diamond-shaped object appeared in the sky above Albuquerque.

The Walmart shooter remains at large.

Happy birthday, Dolly Parton.

Two APD officers will be charged with murder in the shooting death of James Boyd.

Here’s a list of last night’s Golden Globe winners.

Guys who post selfies are crazy.

A man with Broca’s aphasia can only say the word “tono,” which isn’t precisely even a word.

Gastrointestinal microbes may cause arthritis.

If you let me stare into your eyes for four minutes you’ll start getting lots of email from me.

A graduate of Los Alamos High School is the new president of Croatia.

Snow is coming to Albuquerque.

Happy birthday, Kreskin.

The wife of the Georgia Police Chief who accidentally shot her is in fair condition.

The star of ‘Real Housewives’ starts her 15 month prison term today.

In Brazil, a man drove three hours to the hospital with a knife stuck in his head.

Two stars of The Godfather have birthdays today. Diane Keaton turns 67 and Robert Duvall turns 84.

Here are seven strange things that arouse the female homosapien.

Sarah Palin continues to put her paw in her mouth.

In local news, this Chimayo resident’s ‘70s prom pic ended up on the front of a flask.

Meanwhile, Taos residences may have to resort to carrying flasks if this law is passed.

A tiny house was stolen.

It’s so cold in Minnesota exposed skin will get frostbite in ten minutes.

Prince Andrew’s sex scandal is making headlines.

Get ready for a bunch of Warhol exhibits.

Now worry about invisible bombs.

A hermaphroditic bird with unusual coloring has been spotted.

Another plane is missing.

Lizard Squad claims an assist in the Sony hack.

Viewers are weary of Reality TV.

Three lefts make a right for ants.

Cosby hired detectives to dig up dirt on his accusers.

How do hand warmers heat up?

What are Albuquerque’s busiest intersections?

Downtown’s ice skating rink is open and tiny.

Liam and Mia were the most popular baby names in NM this year.

The Year In Review Facebook App wasn't such a good idea.

John Oliver tells us why New Year’s Eve sucks.

A cyclist is sueing the city over a pothole.

In Northern Ireland, a man was beaten to death with his own guitar on Christmas Eve.

A woman in California was recently reunited with her hotrod: a Mustang that was stolen 28 years ago.

Caution: these quotes may inspire spontaneous creativity.

The Seattle Times has accidentally gone back in time.

Meanwhile, it’s time to think about the future... the far future.

Late rock drummer Colin Flooks, aka Cozy Powell, was born on this day in 1947. He played with the likes of Rainbow, Whitesnake, Black Sabbath, Jeff Beck. He would have been 67.

The President of Argentina is trying to curb werewolfism by adopting a seventh son and making him her Godson.

Iron Maiden's seventh album Seventh Son of a Seventh Son, touches heavily on the theme of the paranormal, and features the song “The Clairvoyant."

A Texas plumber's work truck ended up in the hands of ISIS, and he has no idea how.

Dr. Oz s a quack.

The best part of waking up is Kiss’ Paul Stanley in your cup.

A runaway bin lorry caused multiple fatalities in Glasgow.

A driver in France also mowed down several pedestrians in the town of Dijon.

In more uplifiting French news, research shows champagne bubbles may be cause for celebration.

The former singer of Creed lost his marbles a while back and has yet to regain them.

Pope Francis' Christmas speech to the Vatican Clergy was not all warm and fuzzy.

George W. the painter tries to get the nose right.

Review the year in bigfoot sightings.

Me hungover? You hungover.

Songbirds can sense tornadoes in time to get the heck away.

A South Valley rehab center is under Norovirus quarantine.

When you shoplift an axe you become and axe-wielding shoplifter.

Don’t hold your breath on that downtown ice-skating rink.

Happy birthday, Barbara Billingsley.