   | FeatureDial 5-7-5The winners of our second-ever 15th Annual Haiku ContestBeginning this fall the bulk of New Mexico will begin using the new area code 575. This doesn't include the Albuquerque-Santa Fe corridor or most of the northwest quadrant of the state. Still, it certainly tickles our fancy to have this new area code correspond so gloriously with the formal requirements of haiku composition. So, in honor of this very special coincidence, we are even more enthused to present you with the winners and runner-ups in our 2007 Haiku Contest. Special thanks to Christie Chisholm, Amy Dalness, Marisa Demarco and Laura Marrich for helping me judge this contest. Every winner will receive two free passes to the Guild Cinema (3405 Central NE, 255-1848), a $10 gift certificate to Gold Street Caffé (218 Gold SW, 765-1633), a $25 gift certificate to Bumble Bee's Baja Grill (3423 Central NE, 262-2862) and a DVD movie starring famed Mexican film star Pedro Infante (either Ustedes Los Ricos, Nosotros los Pobres or Pepe El Toro). Now, on to the winners!  Best Traditional Haiku Carol Moscrip has been the master in this category for years and she once again comes out on top. Kudos, too, to Albuquerque High School student Kimberly Carter for coming up with a doozy. Winner spider spins the air with boundless tension, braving threadbare dimensions —Carol Moscrip Honorable Mentions Black Widow, your web is frayed from desolation. Your hourglass fades. —Kimberly Carter slips from magnolia bowl’s nectared cream lip a bee drenched in summer’s trance —Carol Moscrip six-fingered wings spread, dark-headed cranes thrash the marsh with a mambo beat —Carol Moscrip Best Albuquerque Haiku Florence Card's haiku has given us all nightmares for days. Beep, beep—indeed. Winner backyard roadrunner blood lust, sharp beak, crazy eyes approaching quickly —Florence Card Honorable Mentions Mountains dressed to kill Whassup wit dat bling sky thing? Albuquerque, yo! —Dee Worley “Burque Burn” Peeling chile, then carelessly rubbing your face. That's the "Burque Burn" —Tommi Tejeda Best Haiku About Zombies Do you typically sport a forlorn expression on your decaying face? Do you dress in rags? Do you shamble? Perhaps you're a zombie. If so, these haiku are for you. Enjoy! Winner Cold, hungry actor willing to work long, hard hours for warm flesh and brains —Steve Bishop Honorable Mentions “Morning traffic” Half asleep, I drive, Brain on autopilot, ride of the living dead. —Ben M. Angel Arms out legs real stiff let's all do the zombie twist It's quite infectious. —Pablo Omar Cox Single white zombie seeks fleshling for fun and bites. Fatties only, please. —Christopher Jones (Rev.) I fell in love with A zombie. But he only Loves me for my brains. —Rebecca Roland Infectious virus Spreads dread, creates mindless dead Fox News coverage. —Larry Elmore Best Movie Review Haiku Now that you mention it, Bob, Matt Damon does have a nice ass. Winner “Bourne Baby, Bourne” Matt Damon's okay. His ass looks good on a bike. Butt he's no James Dean. —Bob Rakoczy Honorable Mention “Karate Kid” (1984) Skeleton mask teens Rough up shy boy on a bike. Crane kick practice time! —Eric Johnson Best Personal Ad Haiku Quite frankly, most of the submissions in this category were too filthy to print, even by Alibi standards. That's why we liked Sue Essen's good, clean, spending-Saturday-night-at-home haiku. Even mama would approve. Winner Crossword fanatic seeks Scrabble-minded soul for wordplay, maybe more? —Sue Essen Honorable Mentions Lonely ape seeks Jane Bring jumper cables and guac Must like hand grenades —Terrence L. Maldonado Werewolf seeks same for a lycanthropic nightmare, any bar downtown —Kelly Green Blonde, thin, fit, smoker, seeks kind, happy, rich smoker for stinky kisses. —Kristen Sandoval Left-handed female turned ambidextrous by choice to please the ladies —Kalisha Weidemann Jaded romantic. Ambivalent! Hopeful? Hurt. Please do not respond. —Larry Elmore Spotted you in court wearing shackles and a scowl. Call me when you're free. —Sue McGilpin Best Haiku About the iPhone About half the submissions in this category would've made for fine iPhone commercials. That's why we're not printing them. Congratulations to Ms. Green for her brief little dose of reality. Winner iPhone ePhone if it were free phone I wouldn't stand in line for it. —Laura Green Honorable Mention Don’t do that again! I didn’t spend 6 hundred to be hung up on! —John Bicknell Best Campaign Slogan Haiku Hey, voters, let's not get ahead of ourselves. There's a City Council election on Oct. 2—just a few short weeks away. Worry about the presidential race next year. Winner Stop electing these rich, white, greedy assholes who always steal our land! —Dan Otero Honorable Mentions “Mitt ’08” Every embryo deserves the chance to become a murdered soldier. —Sue McGilpin Don't worry ... I'll just Blame it on the previous Administration. —Miela Kolomaznik Best Slang Haiku We didn't get many entries in this category. Is this because Alibi readers are too hyper-literate to use slang even where required, or because the category was stupid? You decide. Winner “Lake Whoa-Doggone” Fishun fer bullheads. Heckuva deal, ubetcha. Mac-n-cheese-wiz bait —Bob Rakoczy Best Text Messaged Haiku Didn't get many entries in this category either, and almost all of the ones we did get came from high school kids, like this harsh little ditty from Albuquerque High School student Laz Romankiw. Winner o hey bbycaekz lol im dumping u talk 2 u l8r! —Laz Romankiw Best Miscellaneous Haiku Everyone loves miscellaneous. Everyone wants to be miscellaneous' friend, to have it over for dinner, to invite it for long walks in the park. That's because with miscellaneous, you know you'll never be bored. This year, Stephanie Tacker understood this enduring truth better than anyone. Winner Tiny unborn child tap-dancing on my bladder Can't wait to meet you —Stephanie Tacker Honorable Mentions “Here, catch!” I look back The ball arcs across the sunbeam And smashes my nose. —Cynthia Savino I really like beer. It gives ephemeral strength, and makes me handsome. —Jason Zsemlye You look edible, Arms like bread rising, eyes to drop a penny in. —Vanessa Abbott Empty like an egg sucked dry—I gingerly slide my shell into bed. —Vanessa Abbott "bloody monday" my uterus is obviously trying to annihilate me —Florence Card I buy my dogs the best organic food and treats yet they prefer poo. —Tommi Tejeda Don't yank the bunny! That's a load-bearing rabbit. Ceiling collapses. —Christopher Jones Whatever you do, don't pet that beaver. It is someone's vagina. —Allison Howard Public Comments | 
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