Alibi V.16 No.32 • Aug 9-15, 2007 

Newscity

Making the Desert a Little Greener

Alternative ways of getting around Albuquerque

A 2000 study conducted by the Mid-Region Council of Governments found that 81 percent of Albuquerque commuters drive alone. You can witness it yourself—just walk out to any busy street and count the number of vehicles you see with only one person riding in them. Or make it easier by just counting the number of vehicles with more than one person.

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Thin Line

Asshat Wins

You may recall that Staff Writer Marisa Demarco bequeathed that nickname to Rupert Murdoch not that long ago [Re: Thin Line, “Protest Asshat,” July 5-11]. If ever there were a time when the appropriateness of that moniker fit like a caterpillar in a cocoon, it is now, with the shattering news that Murdoch is to buy the Wall Street Journaland its parent company, Dow Jones.

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Answer Me This

What do you know about last week?

The news just keeps on coming. Some days you pay attention. Some days you don't. Look here in every Alibi to refresh your memory about what's going on in your community. Don't worry if you don't know all the answers—there's a cheat sheet at the end.

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Ortiz y Pino

Where Have All the Workers Gone?

My excitement about reaching the age at which one qualifies for Social Security benefits has been tempered drastically by a couple of demographic time bombs that wake me up in the wee hours of the morning and won’t let me go back to sleep.

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Eric J. Garcia

Odds & Ends

Dateline: England—A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend’s left testicle and then tried to swallow it has been sentenced to two-and-a-half years in prison. The Liverpool Crown Court heard that 37-year-old Geoffrey Jones had ended his long-term but “open relationship” with Amanda Monti, 24, toward the end of May last year. The pair remained on good terms, however. On May 30, she picked him up from a party and the pair gathered for drinks with friends at Mr. Jones’ house. An argument broke out after Jones allegedly refused Monti’s sexual advances. A physical struggle followed. In his statement, Mr. Jones said Monti grabbed his genitals and “pulled hard.” He added: “That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain.” The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr. Jones’ testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it. She choked and spat it back into her hand before the friend grabbed it and gave it back to Jones, saying, “That’s yours.” Doctors were unable to reattach the organ. In a letter to the court, Monti said she was sorry for what she had done. “It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me forever,” she wrote, adding, “I am in no way a violent person.”

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Letters

[RE: Letters, “Call it Querky,” Aug. 2-8] Sorry, Jenny DeBouzek, but you obviously have very ignorant neighbors. For the record, 'Burque was not invented by the Alibi, nor was it developed in some marketing firm. Burque (pronounced Burr-que, not Burkee) is the very soul of what makes my city so beautiful. Burque is our home, our place, our center. Burqueños know that as long as we have the Sandias by our side, we're gonna be alright. Burque is a feeling, not a catch phrase. Burque is where we're from, not where we live.

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Image via Pixabay

EVENT HORIZON ()

Silk and Lights and Everything Nice

Dragon Lights Albuquerque

Formerly known as the Chinese Lantern Festival, see the all new larger-than-life, fully-illuminated lanterns, Chinese cultural performances and special handicrafts.
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Image via Pixabay

EVENT HORIZON ()

Hit All the Dusty Trails

Opt Outside

Black Friday gets more and more absurd every year. In fact, for many retailers, the humanity-crushing shopping rush begins on frigging Thanksgiving Day. What a fun, sexy time. Avoid all of that this year with the Opt Outside event as all 34 New Mexico State Parks wave their day-use fees. Which means seeing our beautiful state wilderness is absolutely free
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Image courtesy of visitalbuquerque.org

EVENT HORIZON ()

My God, It's a River of Lights!

River of Lights

N.M.'s largest all-original holiday light show with over 550 sculptures and millions of twinkling lights.
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Image via Pixabay

EVENT HORIZON ()

Baby, It's Seriously F#@!ing Cold Outside

Winterfest 2018

Ready to get in the holiday spirit? Yeah, neither are we. Fortunately, a little community spirit and fellowship can be infectious. The good ol' city of the 505 is doing their damnedest to provide a little Christmas conversion therapy with this year's Winterfest. Civic Plaza becomes a holly, jolly winter wonderland just two days after Thanksgiving on Saturday, Nov. 24 from 3 to 7pm. Just what makes this so jolly? What the hell could be more merry than the opening of the Holiday Ice Qube Skating Rink with free skating and $3 skate rentals? Local vendors ease the blow with handmade goods and retail therapy. Not to mention, wintery comfort foods, hot cocoa, eggnog and adult libations are abound, thank goddess. The seasonal décor is up and the fat dude in the red suit is there to listen to requests for all the needless crap on your wishlist. This is a free and all-ages event. So put on a coat, skate like a Peanut and get in the damn spirit.
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Image via Pixabay

EVENT HORIZON ()

A Consensual Cuddle Puddle

The Cuddle Revolution

This is a completely platonic experience for adults only. Please arrive on time. Use a series of exercises to practice consensual and safe touch, as well as authentic connection.
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Image via Pixabay

EVENT HORIZON ()

It's Not a Hula

Tahitian Dance Workshop

Don't get it twisted. Tahitian dance is not the hula. Tahitian dance is centered around the hips for storytelling instead of the hands, and it's from … wait for it … Tahiti, not Hawaii. This style, also called 'Ori Tahiti, is a far more aggressive style in most cases, especially from the male dancers. Shock. Kellie Villicano of the Ka Lā Kapu Polynesian Dance School brings this Tahitian Dance Workshop
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