Mind on Its Money, Money on Its Mind
Coming off a monthlong break, the Council slid back into taking care of business at the Monday, Aug. 2 meeting.
Ortiz y Pino
Sleight of Mouth
When professional magicians make coins, cards or pigeons disappear, we call it “sleight of hand.”
┴Ask a Mexican!
Dear Mexican: I am a retired gringa living in Mazatlán, Sinaloa. Most of us foreigners here are liberal and sympathetic to the immigration problem, which the U.S. Congress refuses to address in a meaningful way. Unfortunately, I get lots of e-mails from acquaintances “apprising” me of the horrible situation in el Norte, and how all their tax dollars are being spent to educate and provide medical and Social Security benefits (Yes! They say that!) to these “criminals.” I used to laboriously write letters and show statistics and all that. IT DOESN'T DO ANY GOOD. Now, I ignore the messages but feel guilty about not trying to correct the bullshit. Can you give me a good, short response to those e-mails? Something in Spanish telling them they are stupid would be nice, but some of them are actually friends! I will be forever grateful.
Protesters Stand Against Anti-Abortion Group
"Operation Rescue, not in my community" was the call-and-response chant of the pink-clad abortion rights supporters outside Planned Parenthood.
"Gross," quoth my boyfriend when I told him I'd be riding and writing on Tramway Boulevard this week. "That road is home to the most aggro asshole cyclists in the whole city. I'll never understand why they insist on riding on the shoulder when a dedicated bike path is just 50 feet away."
Aaron Gonzales, email@example.com
Rugby, Up Close and Nuclear
They’re the Atomic Sisters, and they want YOU
On this side of the pond, rugby conjures mental images of battle waged on a muddy terrain in Europe, where brawny, rain-drenched Clive Owen types hoist teammates, pummel opponents and underhand pass—or drop-kick—an oblong ball.
Odds & Ends
Dateline: Tokyo—In a shocking discovery, police in Tokyo have found that the city’s oldest living man has been cheating the record books, having passed away some 30 years ago. Police visited the home of 111-year-old Sogen Kato at the request of ward officials who were updating their list of centenarians for Japan’s upcoming Respect for the Elderly Day. Welfare officials reportedly tried to meet with Kato since early this year, but his family repeatedly chased them away. Officials grew suspicious and asked police to investigate. After forcing their way into the man’s house, police found the mummified body of Kato lying on his bed wearing pajamas and covered in a blanket. The man’s granddaughter told investigators Kato holed up in the room about 30 years ago after declaring he wanted to be a living Buddha. It is believe he passed away soon after. Tokyo police are investigating the possibility that the family covered up Kato’s death in order to receive pension money. According to records, Kato was born July 22, 1899.