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The Daily Word in banana capers, devil babies and standing your ground

The Daily Word

The NSA is still watching you masturbate/plot terrorist attacks/play minesweeper, even if your computer is offline.

In the far future, you will tell your children that January 15, 2014 was the day you first heard of the Great Banana Caper.

Life-sized robot baby teaches innocent passersby that children are evil and should never be approached, no matter how pathetically they cry.

More proof that children are evil: Nasty notes from the under-10 set. "Sorry because of nothing."

The attorney representing a former police officer who shot and killed a man for texting in a movie theater is arguing that the shooter was actually a victim in fear for his life. Because the other man threw popcorn at him.

Neutral Milk Hotel will be stopping by Albuquerque in April.

And finally, the world is dark and depressing and our hearts go out to the children of Roswell.

Public Comments (1)
  • This is real life?  [ Wed Jan 15 2014 11:22 AM ]

    So, computer cases/rooms really do need to be Faraday cages.

    I love how all the jacked up paranoid unbelievable far-fetched cypherpunk bullshit, that computer people used to worry about as theoretical risks back in the old days (or at a minimum, science fiction novel plots), all turned into someone's todo list. They went to their boss and said a bunch of crazy things and probably had to postscript it with "No, stop laughing. Seriously. Let's do it." Then it went up and up the chain and got into a budget request and we paid extra taxes to fund it all, and it became reality.

    And then it became mundane reality. Not something to angrily yell in the streets about, but just "huh, they really did that instead of just talking about how fucked up it would be if someone ever did that. Hm. So how about those Isotopes?" God damn we are all such apathetic slaves these days.

    I'm not sure apathetic resignation and democracy really go well together. Maybe we really ought to go commie or fascist. Might it be more efficient than the status quo, either way?

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