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Personals

"I Saw You" on the Central Ave. Median

Who saw? Who was seen? Was it you?

“Charity creates a multitude of sins.” –Oscar Wilde | Reply or see more “I Saw You” ads at alibi.com/personals.

I was behind you in the checkout at Smiths on 4th on 4/14, 6pm

I was behind you in the checkout lane at Smith's on 4th Street. You looked up as I began to put my groceries onto the belt, you stopped for a minute, we looked at one another and smiled. Our eyes met several more times. I wished that you would talk to me. You finished checking out. When I came out of the store I saw you again putting your groceries into your white truck. We smiled again. I put my groceries into my silver Honda. We met at the basket return. I wished you had asked for my number.

MY BAD: I'LL BE MORE ATTENTIVE NEXT TIME

YES, It is MY BAD in that the fender of my classic Nash Metropolitan grazed you, however so slightly, while YOU appeared out of nowhere from the median of Central Avenue, sporting a cardboard placard emblazoned with "NO MORE EATING OF GUINEA PIGS BY SOUTH AMERICANS." Not hip to the current causes of rectifying injustices, and stalled at the next red light, I offered you a donation of five bucks toward your endeavors. YOU graciously declined the offer and said, "Shove it up your ass, dickweed.”

Very Sweet

You work at the Coop here on campus. You used to have longer hair than you do now (which btw works either way). Usually when I see you, I get super nervous. I wish I knew what to say. I don't think I'd ever have a chance but I'd just like to let you know, you are very handsome and seeing you when I do, is very nice.

Sincerely,

Not a creeper.

"Your Smell Made Me Well"

Whenever I see you, my mind flashes on a flood of memories: Mooshie saying I'd make a great Daddy; the sweetness of your mouth after our marathon kissing sessions; the silky-softness of your skin; waking to your golden hair in the morning sun; the oniony scent of your underarms; the slightly musky scent from under your perfect breasts; the yeasty scent from between your alabaster thighs; the hammy scent from between your marvelous buttocks. Without you I survive, I don't live. Come back.

Personals

"I Saw You" at Two Red Brothers

Who saw? Who was seen? Was it you?

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” –Anaïs Nin | Reply or see more “I Saw You” ads at alibi.com/personals.

I saw you too at Two Red Brothers...

Me: Sneezy Vixen

You: Buying the Champion Lover

Meet for tea?

---

[Editor’s note: See last week’s I Saw You for the first chapter in this sweet little drama.]

your beautiful voice gave me fever

You: beautiful voice and beautiful everything. You gave me fever, whether it be Fahrenheit or centigrade! I thought to myself, I hope you're single—and then thought again how awesome you are and I am happy to call you my wife!

Lady of the Snows

Hail to Thee, Teutonic Earth Goddess!

Let me drink anew of your life-giving essence

from twixt your fleshy pyramids!

Let me bask in the warmth

of your twin ivory peaks

and suckle in joyful submission!

Let me worship your Bavarian hams

and bathe your rearmost sanctum with my essence

fulfilling all Your Commandments!

I faithfully await Your Second Coming,

according to the prophecy,

and await the resurrection of the erection!

Amun.

Personals

"I Saw You" Explaining a Brilliant Idea

Who saw? Who was seen? Was it you?

“An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.” –Oscar Wilde | Reply or see more “I Saw You” ads at alibi.com/personals.

I saw you at Two Red Brothers...

Your eyes were filled with tears, your face was all red, and you were asking about herbs for allergies. Ain't nobody got time for allergies!

Your Idea For New Mexico-Based Superhero

Hi. I am a cartoonist and I overheard the idea you were bouncing off your attractive lady friend at the Frontier this morning, 4/1/2014. I think your idea of 'The Green Cloud' as a new superhero who inhaled toxic wastes at WIPP has a lot of potential and I want to get together with you to discuss a business partnership. You left as I was getting my order! This is not an April Fools' gag!

What Would Marshal Matt Dillon Do?

Warning! Unauthorized Campers in the Foothills Area of Albuquerque Will Be Summarily Executed! By Decree of the Hungry Guns of the Albuquerque Police Department.

University and Coal like 47 minutes ago

Like 48 minutes ago (1:30pm 3/28/14) you were turning west on Coal off University in a silver truck. I smiled at you and you gave me a reserved but kind smile back as you drove along your way. I watched you take off up the hill with no way of saying hello. I can't get that smile out of my head. Hello.

Personals

"I Saw You" at Satellite Coffee

Who saw? Who was seen? Was it you?

“I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now.” –Louisa May Alcott, Little Women | Reply or see more “I Saw You” ads at alibi.com/personals.

Goddess in a BMW

When I was driving down the street, I saw you driving your blue vehicle, hair flowing in slow motion. You looked exotic like a tanned Irish beauty, and your lips caressed your e-cigarette so gently. It was worth bending my rim against the curb just to catch an additional second of your magnificence.

Satellite

I was the girl who sat down at the long table. Shortly after, you looked over and gave a polite smile. You were sitting at one of those comfy couch-chairs playing on your phone. You were wearing shorts, you seemed athletic. I was wearing feathers and I seemed disinterested. But I wasn't.

Just in case you were wondering, I saw you.

And you're beautiful!

SHOT DOWN IN FLAMES

Only a paraphrasing of the poem “High Flight” could describe YOU: "Slipping the surly bonds of Burque, the foothills you climbed, to dance the Crest on silvered, laughable sneakers." Whatever the case, before disappearing up the trail you at least winked at me, most likely because your three unruly dogs paused to poop in my front yard.

Personals

"I Saw You" While Out Shopping

Who saw? Who was seen? Was it you?

“I'm shopping around for something to do that no one will like.” –Jerry Garcia | Reply or see more “I Saw You” ads at alibi.com/personals.

SHOPPING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW

In the millisecond in which our shopping carts touched in the South Valley, enchantment ensued : YOU were a sleepy-eyed, willowy blonde worthy of Botticelli. Amazingly, you noted that the "Whole Cut-Up Chicken" in my cart had three legs and only one breast. Quick on my feet, as usual, I suggested that it was a polydactyl fowl which had undergone a mastectomy. You chuckled politely but, with unseemly haste, hotfooted to the Express Checkout Line, never to be seen again.

Pretty in pink at Pawn City

Pretty in pink on a Thursday, with sea shells to sell. So sweet and nice, I wish to see you again. If that's alright. Groovie Ghoulie! Love my bracelets.

I saw you at Sais Food Mart

Grouchy store clerk was being very rude 'cause you checked your eyebrows in the mirror. You were in shorts and I had a grey sweater. We spoke outside about how rude he was. We were heading different directions after we crossed the street. Should've asked your number, wasn't thinking. Hope I'll run into you again.

Personals

"I Saw You" at Burt’s Tiki Lounge

Who saw? Who was seen? Was it you?

“Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.” –Robert Frost | Reply or see more “I Saw You” ads at alibi.com/personals.

Burts Tiki. On 3/6/14

Burt's on 3/6. Gorgeous lady. You were all dressed in black and dancing by yourself. I wanted to come talk to you. You're incredibly beautiful and a very good dancer. Me: the guy sitting at the booth that couldn't take his eyes off of you. I'm hoping there's a spark between us. Please contact me.

Thank You, Ayurvedic Little Beast!

Dear Yoga Pants-wearing Ayurvedic naughty little beast, for your valuable advice and kind words. Unfortunately, the woman who holds my heart captive will not set it free while at the same time not making herself emotionally available. Many thanks, a hairless Kapha Dosha type.

Personals

"I Saw You" at a Psychiatry Lecture

Who saw? Who was seen? Was it you?

“Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.” –Albert Einstein

Reply or see more “I Saw You” ads at alibi.com/personals.

Your Smile Reached Your Eyes

You attended the IDEAS in Psychiatry lecture by Dr. Swanson the evening of February 25th. I sat immediately to your right. We made some small talk and I commented on your being left handed. You have a beautiful smile that reaches your eyes and makes them shine. I wish we could meet and talk some more, maybe over a cup of coffee.

AN INCONVENIENT LOCATION

6:14am: An inconveniently-located QUICKIE MART. You were resplendent in Hello Kitty pajama bottoms, tube top and go-go boots. With back turned to me you shouted, “LOOK, A BALLOON!” to the cashier. As he turned HIS back you adroitly shoveled the contents of the countertop green chili stewpot into your needlepoint shoulder-strapped gym bag. Paying only for a box of JUJUBES, you jauntily exited with a toss of green-fuchsia-aquamarine-teal-salmon shoulder-length tresses, leaving only desire.

Thank You, Yoga Pants!!!

Why do I feel like bursting out in song every time I see one of you lovely, shapely women dressed in yoga pants? Is it because they showcase the wonderful difference between men and women? Highlight every curve, nook and cranny of your provocative bodies? Provide me with graphic mental images for those times of drought? Who knows?! I'm just glad you delicious, naughty little beasts wear them & thank you for buying & wearing them, & their designer for inventing them!

Personals

"I Saw You" at Marble Brewery

Who saw? Who was seen? Was it you?

“Love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself.” –Andre Breton

Reply or see more “I Saw You” ads at alibi.com/personals.

Rush hour meeting on San Antonio NE

Saw you on San Antonio this week in your white SUV in rush hour traffic. I told you how pretty you were and you introduced yourself and your son to me while waiting at a red light. I should have asked for your number! Still interested? Let me know :)

Back turned to me at Marble Brewery - evening of Feb.19th

Young and slim, with coke bottle rims. You showed up as it got dark and windy, and sat at the only stained and varnished table with my friend and I—the girl in the blue beanie, you caught me making eyes all night and I meant to be caught. I wanted to say hello but as my pal left to pay his tab, yours came back with her beer. Was she a date? Either way, I'd like you to take me out. Let's chat, or more. I do adore your smile and I am prone to a loud laugh or two, clearly. My eyes spoke volumes.

Personals

"I Saw You" at the Phillips 66/Lowes on 4th

Who saw? Who was seen? Was it you?

There are the waves and there is the wind, seen and unseen forces. Everyone has these same elements in their lives, the seen and unseen, karma and free will. –Kuan Yin

Reply or see more “I Saw You” ads at alibi.com/personals.

Phillips 66/Lowes on 4th, 2/12/14

You were in a white Monte Carlo… Looking good in your shirt 'n tie… I was the scruffy guy who couldn't help but keep looking your way… Kept trying to say hi but couldn't figure out a way… Super shy and missed my chance… Want to give me that chance again??? Lets do dinner and drinks.

Camera Thief - SW Abq Walmart

Well - I did NOT see you steal my camera last Friday, but the security cameras did.

You: Woman in her 50s, spiked hair, pink sweater, black pants.

Me: sad

You stole my memories along with the pictures I had just taken for a job. And you screwed me out of 2 other jobs that day because I no longer had a camera. If you have any decency, you could find a way to return my property to me—at least the memory card.

If not, may karma find you.

Personals

"I Saw You" in Your Coonskin Cap

Who saw? Who was seen? Was it you?

Oscar Wilde had it right: “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” Reply or see more “I Saw You” ads at alibi.com/personals.

Big Red Truck, Coonskin Cap

Driving S. on Eubank, morning of 2/7. Your stickers made me smile, then I saw your awesome hat and thought, "Why on earth are we not friends?!" Had to hurtle by but thought I'd reach out—strictly looking to hang out in a friendly way—social drink? Game of billiards?

To my Shady Lady.

I guess it's silly to retread roads once traveled. Yet here I am, thinking about you. Maybe it's because nothing amazing happens here.

APD Crossing Guard Supervisor

I saw you wave around what looked to be like timecards in front of an 88 year old lady crossing guard while you laughed. You said you'd found them in a drawer. You and the City of Albuquerque cheated the poor woman out of 2 pay periods and then told her it was too late for her to do anything about it. Wasn't it enough you hounded her out of a job after she won a Friday's Hero Award? You better make this right with the lady, or I'm helping her with a complaint to the Dept. of Labor! Pricks!

I Saw You, Congressman Grimm (R-NY)

I saw you threaten to throw that TV reporter over the balcony at the Capitol Building, Congressman Grimm! Did you think he was perhaps a Wesen, a Blutbad, a Hexenbiest or a Kleinebiest? That would explain things!

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    YOU (ALBUM RELEASE)
    YOU (ALBUM RELEASE)4.24.2014