Alibi V.14 No.1 • Jan 6-12, 2005 

Culture Shock

Ladies and gentlemen, the sweet, intoxicating stench of love is already in the air. It isn't too early to start making plans for this year's Valentine's Day. Before you know it the big day will be right up on you, sinking its sharp fangs deep into your hind parts. Don't be caught unprepared. Start planning today.

Even if you don't have a steady romance in your life at the moment, chances are you've got your eye on at least one cutie pie in the near vicinity. What's the best way to impress the pants right off a lover, either real or potential? Enter the Alibi's Second Annual Valentine's Day Card Contest. It's no exaggeration to suggest that this single contest could change your life forever.

Here's how it works. You make a small investment in crayons, markers, paper, glitter, glue, dried macaroni, colored string, paint and other artsy craftsy paraphernalia. Then you get down to business making a Valentine's Day card using such stunning artistic creativity that we here at the Alibi won't be able to resist rewarding you with a prize and printing your card in our paper.

But don't let the mere possibility of limitless fame and fortune be your sole motivation. Just think how impressed your sweetie will be when she or he sees your card—the card you constructed with your very own trembling, sweaty, love sick hands—printed in the Alibi for all the world to see. If you don't get lucky after that, you're going to have to consider cosmetic surgery because even the elephant man could get himself some action under such auspicious circumstances.

Anyway, use whatever creative means you have at your disposal to produce the perfect heartfelt Valentine's Day card. The only rules are that it has to be two-dimensional and no larger than 8.5 by 11 inches. We must receive all entries by Friday, Jan. 28, at 5 p.m. Winners will be printed in the Feb. 10 issue. They'll also receive some unbelievably cool gift certificates specially engineered to get their romantic lives on the fast track to glory. Mail entries to Alibi's Second Annual Valentine's Day Card Contest, 2118 Central SE, #151, Albuquerque, NM 87106. One entry per person.