How Special

Weeee!
Weeee!

Retarded is such a special word, reserved for those infrequent yet precious moments lacking utterly of brainpower. Only on rare occasion can this word apply so impeccably to a situation—a quote in this case—but when it does it’s like no other. The chairman of the Arkansas Republican Party has given us a perfect example:

“I think all we need is some attacks on American soil like we had on [Sept. 11, 2001] and the naysayers will come around very quickly to appreciate not only the commitment for President Bush, but the sacrifice that has been made by men and women to protect this country."—Dennis Milligan, chairman of the Arkansas Republican Party

Ahhh ... it’s so bad it’s good, kind of like Snakes on a Plane or Nicolas Cage.

Let me get this straight: If America were to be attacked again (God forbid), it would prove to Americans that—because of Bush, mind you—we’re safer … ? An attack would confirm we’re not getting attacked? Ahhh! I hope I’m not the only one that feels like their brain just took a ride on a mobius strip.

Dennis, you have provided us with quite the gem. Out of all the clever words for dumb—vacuous, imbecilic, bovine—retarded triumphs over all of them effortlessly.