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Pluto is Not Even a Very Good Dwarf Planet

Seriously. If Pluto were a celebrity, it’d be a drugged-up ho shrieking and rotting in jail and worrying about its dwindling career.

Pluto’s no longer topping the dwarf planet B-list. Turns out fellow celestial body Eris outranks it in mass. Pluto’s publicist had no comment, except to say, “Pluto’s learning and growing in emotional ways that count more than mass ever could.”

What was Pluto really good for anyway, aside from finishing off the “My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine ...”

What? WHAT DID YOUR MOTHER SERVE YOU?

 

Today's Events

ABurlyQ! A Burlesque & Sideshow Spectaculár! at African American Performing Arts Center

Gilded Cage Burlesk & Varieté and Trend Groups present a festival to honor burlesque, vaudeville, sideshow, belly dance and more.

Aquarium Overnight: August at ABQ BioPark Aquarium

The Santa Fe VIP's 2nd Annual Cocktail Party: Zozobra at Border's Books

More Recommented Events ››
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