I went to the State Fair on Saturday. Let me tell you about it.
Well, first off I was stuck in traffic for about 40 minutes on Louisiana because they’ve decided to block off all but one lane south of Lomas, forcing both southbound lanes to merge..somehow... into a single lane somewhere in the middle of that fucked up intersection, and also eventually forcing somebody to let the asswipe who breezed by me on the left twenty minutes prior into a spot ten cars ahead of me even though he was in the wrong lane and I wasn’t. I don’t know who came up with that idea, but I admire his sense of humor.
It was $6 to park, and that was accomplished by means of a complex system of paper tickets that passed from one worker girl to another at various stops along a cone-filled obstacle course while cops glared at me. Then I got to park in a tiny parking space hidden back in a sea of Hummers and Dodge Ram Pickups that all seemed to be falling in on me and my tiny parking space. Undercover cops were everywhere, surreptitiously whispering into their tiny hidden radios. There was one dressed like a baker, another like an astronaut and even another in a horse costume. It’s enough to make you crazy.
Then, just when I thought the waiting was over, I saw that there was a line to get in that spilled out into the parking lot from the little cavern that goes under the horse tracks... you know what I’m talking about? If not, whatever. Anyway, I had to stand in the blaring sunrays for probably 15 minutes before the line moved at all, and then all I could think of was how nice and cool I would be when I finally moved underground into the cave. Let me tell you, mom: that cave was not cool. It was a moistly cloying blanket of humanity, a humid warmth of mammels in close quarters where every molecule of evaporated sweat and recycled breaths flowed into my lungs like contaminated pee. It made my skin really soft, too.
Finally, I got inside the Fair and I was starving... which I suppose reminds me that I was going to recommend what food to get there. Well, there are so many choices that it really doesn’t matter that much. I guess I’d say that you can’t go too wrong with a $4.50 green chile cheeseburger from the Rex’s stand in the main food area. Also, the $4.25 carne adovada/potato/cheese burrito from Burritos Alinstante (up north by the cow barn) is pretty outstanding. I suppose that was a lot of bitching to wade through just to talk about a cheeseburger and a burrito. Sorry about that.