What’s In The Alibi Refrigerator?

This is the actual Alibi refrigerator.
This is the actual Alibi refrigerator.

1) A bunch of milk and a thing of cream.

2) A mysterious styrofoam box with “Adrienne’s 3/14/08,” so it’s actually from the future.

3) Two plastic containers of Whole Foods hummus from the distant past.

4) Also from the distant past, a couple tamales in a plastic bag that I brought in sometime in December.

5) A half-finished Coke and a half-finished Propel Fitness Water.

6) Way in the back, there’s some gloppy fruit in a Tupperware thing. Also, some “all natural” peanut butter that is probably… I don’t know maybe it’s good. I’ve never tasted it.

7) Cream cheese.

8) One of Marisa’s little Green Giant vegetable dishes.

9) A coffee cup with saran wrap over it.

What’s not in the Alibi refrigerator? The plastic army man I put in there. Who stole the goddam plastic army man?