Bobby Brady Took a Shit on the Trail.

Nick Brown’s Camping Trip: Part One

This is my tent. It’s surprisingly easy to set up.
This is my tent. It’s surprisingly easy to set up.

Last weekend, I went camping along the Rio Guadalupe with my friends Bobby Brady, Chip Douglas and Ellie May Clampett. We drove up through the Gilman Tunnels and camped along the river where it levels out into meadows.

It’s beautiful country and the first spot we stopped at was nearly ideal. Unfortunately, Bobby Brady had to take a shit and ran off with a roll of toilet paper down this little trail through the jungle. He was pretty excited when he returned and dragged me back into the foliage to see an impressive maze of dark paths he’d discovered. “Except, watch out because I pooped here.”

Sure enough, Bobby Brady had taken a shit right in the middle of the trail and looped about a hundred yards of brown-streaked toilet paper on top. Oh, Bobby. I had to get a couple of sticks to haul his toilet paper out of the jungle like a herpetologist and plop it in the fire pit with a rock on top.

The mere thought of having to squat down and crap in a thicket was enough to make Ellie May suggest we push on in search of a campground with toilets, but after another ten miles of driving (and after seeing an awesome rafter of wild turkeys) we turned back to Bobby’s shitting grounds.

While Chip and I pitched the tent, Ellie walked down the trail and covered Bobby’s turd with some grass. Why’d she do that? I don’t know. She just mumbled something about her “critters.”