What’s Up With Adult Feet Pajamas?

Like a woman using a childish voice to endear herself to others, adult footies (or footy pajamas or onesies) press my creep-out button.

They’re not just Halloween costumes, as Jumpin Jammers here might have you believe. Somehow, there’s a legitimate market in America made up of adults who want to reclaim their childhoods via nightwear.

If I recall correctly from my toddler years, though footy pajamas are warm, you have to basically get naked to use the bathroom while wearing them. The foot part stinks up really fast and the zipper is scratchy as hell.

Potential slogans:

“Footies: Because Your First Childhood Sucked”

“Footies: You Can Get Away With Anything if People Believe in Your Innocence”

“Footies: Wearing These Will Get You Cooing Sorority Chicks”

“Footies: The First Inconspicuous Step to Becoming a Furry Lifestyler”