Waffle House Jukebox Favorites
I couldn’t believe this at first. Last week I mentioned to Devin that I’d just been to the Waffle House for the first time since Little Rock in ‘92. Devin, in his endless pop culture wisdom, noted that the circa ‘55 southern diner chain contains jukeboxes loaded with Waffle House-themed songs...yeah right, why would there be any songs about Waffle House? Because Americans are a nation of weirdos, that’s why. So, it’s true. There are a bunch of songs about Waffle House, enough to even create a micro-genre. Titles on Waffle House Family, Part 1 include “Waffle Do Wop” by Eddie Middleton, “Waffle House Thank You” by Mary Welch Rogers and “844,739 Ways to Eat a Hamburger.” And, as any musical venture of status knows, there must be a Christmas album. And there is. It’s called It’s a Waffle House Christmas, and contains tracks such as “The Waffle House 12 Days of Christmas” by The Waffle House Carolers.
You can listen to some of these delicious songs here. When I first heard them I actually cried tears of joy. I am particularly fond of Danny Jones’ three minute falsetto rock number “There Are Raisins in My Toast.” It would be totally awesome if somebody turned that into a punk song, altering the lyrics to “Ew, there are raisins in my toast. Get those nasty fucking raisins outta my toast! At the Waffle Haaaaauuuuusssss!” In fact, where the hell is Waffle House Family, Part 2? Somebody should make that album.