Twihards Shank Antis

Oh, virginal white dress-wearing girl, whatever you do, don’t bite the apple. Also, please don’t key my car.
Oh, virginal white dress-wearing girl, whatever you do, don’t bite the apple. Also, please don’t key my car.

At least they’re reading?

No. Better to be illiterate than to try and drown a bitch because she doesn’t like the series of books you adore.

The site twilightsucks.com has become a complaint department for antis (people against Twilight) who report getting beat up because they’re not into the semi-religious sparkly vampire books.

They say they’ve had cars vandalized, been hit with bats, suffered broken bones, and more.

Maybe they’re just B.S.ing. Maybe a couple are true or contain elements of truth.

It’s a merchandising feast gone haywire. (The next person who loses a bet with me will be forced to wear an Edward Cullen shirt for a whole day.)

But if I learned anything from writer Stephanie Meyer, it’s that saving myself until marriage and not allowing my family to abort the baby that’s killing me is the path to various forms of bliss—including great sex—4ever.

Huh. Not really the message of peace I was reaching for. But if you, Twihard, could abstain from filing your copy of Breaking Dawn into a prison shank and stabbing me, I’m sure the higher-ups would appreciate it.