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A Collection of Rock-Hard Confections

A collection of rock-hard confections.
A collection of rock-hard confections.

It started in January when a family size bag of giant pink and white Mexican marshmallows appeared in the Alibi kitchenette. Staffers made various uses for them, most notably, as pedestals for little army men. I placed one atop my monitor for occasionally poking and marshmallow ridicule.

The mice won’t even touch this months-old donut.
The mice won’t even touch this months-old donut.

Next was the cupcake. Every month we receive a shipment of individual cakes in assorted flavors, gather in the conference room and eat them in celebration of that month’s staff birthdays. Approximately three months ago I decided to perch my cupcake by the now dried and lifeless pink marshmallow for admiration. As the baked component of the cupcake quickly met the same fate of the marshmallow, the frosting stayed remarkably and eerily viscous.

But I suspect they’ve been sampling this still-gooey frosting.
But I suspect they’ve been sampling this still-gooey frosting.

Weeks passed. A chocolate chip cookie joined the gang. Then came my piece de resistance, and the confection that by far experienced the most dramatic and concerning transformation: The donut. Perhaps because it was the sole fried item, or perhaps because it contains the most dubious ingredients, the donut’s icing changed color and pulled away from the bread, becoming sort of hat-like.

Today I’m throwing the collection away. It’s really starting to gross me out. Farewell, my once delicious friends.


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