Nick Brown Conquered The World

Life is a sandbox: you either play in the sand or watch other people play in it. I prefer to sit here and look at you. I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable.

Last night there was a big ruckus at my house. I heard gun shots and squealing tires and police sirens that went on for almost an hour. Then I shut the TV off.

I'm reading a book about a depressed middle-aged man. It's super interesting.

Yesterday, when I was driving to work, there was a radio quiz about how many people think they're crazy. Nobody was getting it right. Then, when I pulled into my parking place, I realized that I had made the whole thing up and I was at Furr's.

It would be cool if Furr's were spelled Furrz, like if it had kind of an urban feel.

At the grocery store, I think a lot of the stuff in back is fake. It's just there for show. No one could possibly afford all that merchandise. I always take my groceries from the front.

I used to keep pet snow crabs, but some got loose. Some exterminator person something something got called by somebody.

I have a rare breed of dog that will only eat cheese. He's a pain in the ass.

When I was a young man, blah blah blah. I look weird.

When I was a kid I played fiddle in the orchestra. Then they moved me to fiddle-trumpet.

I love puppets. They're like little people that act out plays.