Post-Dating Checks is Illegal

I don’t understand why it’s illegal to post-date a check, but perfectly legal to put a check in an unbreakable crystal box that can’t be opened for five days. I've been told it's because crystal boxes don't exist. "Ain't never been no crystal check box I couldn't break into," my grandfather used to say. Since those days, people rarely use time-released crystal check boxes, preferring simply to post-date their checks. But post-dating checks, as I've mentioned, is illegal, I think. Not really.

Once, a mother accidentally locked her baby inside a crystal check box. It was all over the news, but on the fifth day the baby was released in perfect health. I think giraffes are cool animals. For the most part.