The Kids Are F*@#ed
Ah, NPR. There’s nothing like the power of radio to lift your spirits and bum you the hell out. Weirdly, these stories do both for me.
Two recent NPR stories highlight how teenagers are dumb and need to be scared into being less dumb. The first is a story on how a California sheriff’s department is using computer imaging to show teens what they would look like with a meth addiction. This is because teens’ brains don’t work all that well and they might think, “You know what? Meth sounds great.” And then this shows them that they’ll be ugly if they do it, which is terrifying.
The second story is a report on findings by scientists that shows that teen drunkenness may lead to brain damage. Because their brains aren’t formed. That is why they’re dumb. Seriously, why do parents not just say that when their kids are all, “How come I can’t have sex/drive your car/speak without being spoken to?” Just tell them: Your brain is not fully formed. You are essentially running around with part of a brain. Now do what I say and finish installing Mommy’s stripper pole in the kitchen.
Anyway, kids these days.