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Post-Rapture Pets

Have you ever wondered what will happen to Man’s Best Friend after God calls you to Heaven? The folks at Eternal Earth-Bound Pets sure have. In what amounts to the best joke and/or business plan I’ve ever heard, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets will offer a pet-sitting service for those Chosen Few who find themselves caught up in The Rapture. A flat $110 fee will get you a godless heathen to look after your beloved pets during the Time of Tribulation. How can you be sure the designated pet-sitters won’t be caught up in The Rapture as well? A FAQ on the company’s web site assures clients that, “each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God/Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.” The service is available in 22 states right now. (Sadly, NM isn’t one of them.)

 
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