He's sitting there in one of those slouchy package enhancing postures and the ladies notice. Big time. One shifts to block the other's view for two reasons. One is to cruelly block her friend's view. Women are catty that way. The other reason is to block the LW's view as they discuss fellatio with gusto, hand gestures, and facial gymnastics.
So, what's a dude to do? He absolutely must go talk to them. Best results by standing close and putting that man package at their eye level. An opening line like "who ordered the meat lover's" is sure to bring an offer. Likely two! Indeed, that little shuffle-wiggle the LW observed is a come on for some menage action.
On the other hand, Kat is once again revealing her man hate. She knew what was going on but used her advisory column power to cock block that poor man and every man similarly situated. It's just plain mean to send him for therapy instead of for what Kat absolutely knows is a sure thing. Its also a little self defeating because you can't write relationship advice if people aren't having relations.