Good morning, it’s April 1, 2015
And Colorado is trying to steal our chile,
Mayor Berry announced the latest bike-friendly improvement for our city: painting bike lanes turquoise,
A kid’s party at a Chuck E. Cheese turned into a brawl, which is totally understandable if you’ve ever been to a Chuck E. Cheese,
A former German policeman was convicted of murdering and eating another man, even though the man wanted him to, and also he was really hungry,
you can buy a special Voltron just for your cats,
Game of Thrones is coming back soon, so you’d better spend some time playing with the Game of Thrones Catch-Up-Machine,
And, of course, it’s April Fool’s Day, so uh, your shirt’s on fire.
Now it’s out.
Good morning, it’s Wednesday, March 25
and drug dealer Eugene Crane, aka “Blanco Diablo” aka “The Boogie Man,” has been arrested for allegedly wrapping the body of one of his customers in plastic and then dumping her in an empty lot near Roller Skate City after the woman overdosed. Before dumping her, but after she died, he allegedly made time to join his family for dinner,
Geologists with the United States Air Force are set to begin construction on a well to extract poisonous chemicals from Albuquerque’s water supply. The well will be located in a church parking lot, right next to the basketball court,
the Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg wonders if it’s time for “the Jews to leave Europe,”
a Detroit eviction crew discovered the corpses of two children stashed in a deep freeze inside of a vacant apartment. The mother of the children has been taken into custody,
in some of the least depressing news to come out of Iraq, ISIS apparently blew up Saddam Hussein's tomb,
a baby eagle hatched live on eagle-cam,
and a restaurant in Africa has closed down after attracting negative attention for their “no blacks” policy.
Good morning, it’s Tuesday, March 17,
Brush up on the real St. Patrick here.
And if you seek authenticity, don’t forget to eat your parsnips!
Maybe you can find some at local Albuquerque restaurants that are celebrating Restaurant Week?
Meanwhile, the New York St. Patrick’s Day Parade is, for the first time, allowing an LGBT group to march. That’s right, one LGBT group is allowed to march, and it happens to be made up of employees of NBC, the network that threatened to boycott coverage of the parade if they didn’t.
Finally, dentists are excited about the holiday because so many people get into bar fights that result in the loss of teeth. So support your local dental clinic and mouth off to a drunken leprechaun tonight!
Attention residents of Albuquerque!
For over two decades, the Weekly Alibi has asked YOU to help us honor the very best that our unique city has to offer. Well, it’s that time again. From art galleries to vape shops; from best politician to best local band, this is your chance to let the world know what you love about Burque.
Just log in and fill out the ballot. It’s that easy!
Good morning, it’s Wednesday, March 11,
and the New Mexico senate has killed an anti-union bill,
Sandia Labs is trying to hack into your iPhone,
Breaking Bad fans keep throwing pizzas on some lady’s NE Heights home,
video game designers still don’t know how boobs work,
members of the University of Oklahoma’s SAE fraternity are sorry for being so racist,
and a Florida woman is running from the law because she doesn’t want her 4-year-old son circumcised.
Have a great day!
Good morning, it’s Wednesday, March 4,
a “party bike” will soon be wobbling through the streets of Downtown Albuquerque, bringing up to 14 drunken pedalers to the pubs of there choice,
the man who invented Keurig coffee makers thinks the disposable single-use coffee packets are to expensive and bad for the environment,
APS is threatening to criminally charge students who protest the controversial PARCC test,
and its National Grammer Day, everybody! Check out Grammar Girls’ editing checklist here and then post all the errors you find in today’s Daily Word in the comments below. Whoever finds the most errors will win a heaping helping of smug self-satisfaction!
Good morning, it’s Wednesday, February 25,
and KOB anchorman Tom Joles is having a time-out after a rumored physical altercation with one of his fellow reporters,
it turns out that even beatniks can be beautiful,
a GQ reporter visited a “Men’s Rights” conference and found out that those guys are kind of a bunch of assholes,
2 million cars in the US are outfitted with remote-shut-off technology that can, and has been, hacked,
aiming laser pointers at police helicopters remains a great way to get arrested, even if you say you're sorry,
students and parents continue to protest an upcoming standardized test,
and a local researcher says the uptick in chupacabra sightings is due in part to global warming.
Have a great day!
Our totally not-weekly podcast returns! For this episode, we sat down with Matie Fricker of Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center and discussed the results of our 3rd Annual Reader Sex Survey. From secret turn-ons to affirmative consent, the discussion went to some very interesting and sometimes personal places.
Check it out!
It’s a huge weekend for Geeks from all over the country, as Isleta Casino plays host to the 9th annual Geeks Who Drink Geek Bowl on Saturday, Feb. 7 at 7pm SHARP. The GWD trivia competitions have become a weekly ritual in bars all over this town during the last several years, (and an Albuquerque based team even took home the Geeky crown from Denver in 2009) but this is the first year the Duke City will be hosting the bowl.
We’re big trivia fans here at the office, (our own Mark Lopez was on a team that managed a 3rd place win in the "Friends" themed GWD last week,) so we plan on checking out the festivities and maybe, just maybe laying claim to at least part of that $12,000 in prizes that GWD is touting. Or not. I guess it all depends on how much we can actually remember about "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or whatever (the quiz’s theme is unknown at this point).
If you know way too much about "Firefly" or "Breaking Bad" or Taylor Swift (again, we're just guessing here,) you can buy all kinds of tickets over at geekbowl.brownpapertickets.com.
Also, there will be a pre-party over at Sister Bar (our dear neighbors) on Friday at 8pm. $10 at the door. Sounds like a grand, geeky bacchanal to me.
It’s Wednesday, Februrary 4th.
And the growing number of dash cams in Taiwan means you can watch terrifying footage of a plane crash.
But we’re working on our homelessness problem! By kicking people out of the parks and making them leave their make-shift shelters.
Thanks to this map, it’s easier than ever to find your nearest neighborhood goat.
Finally, did you know you can make a microphone out of a pencil and a matchbox? YOU TOTALLY CAN!
Have a great day!