Rowdy’s Dream Blog #338: Old Colonel, New Game
The old colonel has invented a new game whereby one takes hold of some loops in the ears of a small wooden elephant and gives chase by flying in a sine wave, rising and falling, rising and falling…
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Rowdy’s Dream Blog #337: Hooked by a Fisherman
I am sitting on a rocky cliff in a canyon between two streets with my boss, C, and some other guys. C wants to hike in the bigger mountains. As we leave, my other boss, E, tells me about the blood in his stool. I beg him to try psyllium.
On our way, we stop in a split-level Walgreens so I can show my friend, R, the protein powder. She tries a sample spoonful of cream-of-wheat from a green desert dish.
We then proceed east on a path up a hill near my childhood home. Two guys are practicing fly fishing in their yard. I am hooked in the back of my black fleece jacket.
"Give me back my fishing arm!" the guy says. I unhook. Now they both have their hooks in C.
"Are you going to club him too?" I ask.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #336: The Walking Stick Turns Into a Naked Lady
G has placed a large walking-stick bug in our terrarium with a juniper branch—something it can't eat. I wake from a nap to find that the bug has transformed into a tiny, blonde naked woman drowning in the water dish, which has been filled to the brim.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #335: Photographing an Eagle with a Camera Made of Cheese
I am on the back porch of my childhood home. A large Mexican gray eagle lands on my shoulder and then jumps to the ground. I coax him back up and tell G to go get my camera. She returns but can't seem to work it. I take it from her angrily. It has become camera parts imbedded in yellow cheese. I try anyway to hold it at arm's length and get a shot.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #334: An Automotive Obstacle Course
I am trying to leave town in my truck. People have placed two garbage cans as obstacles in the road and have dug a series of holes as part of a contest. I swerve and spin to avoid them but finally must come to a stop. It is impossible to get out of town. Everyone has gone mad, making their own barrier contests.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #333: Trouble at the Museum
I arrive at a museum. G and my family go in ahead of me. I decide to buy the $10 ticket instead of the $15 one. I ask my sister if she's seen G. She tells me instead about some great surprise our mother has found. I walk down a hallway on the third level. I grab hold of a portal pillar made of mud and stone and peer down into the courtyard below. Under wooden vegas covered with vines I see some sheep grazing. The partition I'm holding crumbles and falls. I close my eyes and wait for the crash but hear only silence. I stroll away nonchalantly.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #332: Dirt for Sale
G has ordered some dirt. She is not home. A couple arrives in a white station wagon. They park in our garage. The guy has dirt piled on a blue blanket in the back seat and some more on top of the sun visors. They want $25. He pulls the dirt blanket out onto our front lawn. I write him a check made out to 'Country-Tried', and worry that G will say we got screwed.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #329: Canyon of the Rag Man
I climb through narrow sandstone notch canyons and out into a steeply sloping, red-dirt valley that was formed by a peasant revolt ages ago. I help a crazy rag-man to find the terminus for a bundle of blue, cat-5 cables. It turns out to be a cash register operated by John Travolta, who is dressed in wizard garb.