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Timewaster

Paranormal Freakout: I saw a ghost.

This morning I saw a ghost floating up in the neighbor’s back yard. When I looked again, it was really just a painter climbing a ladder. With the face of a human skull!

news

The Daily Word in dead pigs, hobbit holes and Duplos.

The Daily Word

A deadly marine killed two.

Crime didn’t pay for some crafty bank burglars.

Mathmatics of mosh pit motion mimics molecular movement.

Why must there always be dicks in video games?

An airship club that might have existed continues to puzzle scholars. (Warning: long story.)

Until someone does this with Duplos, you’ll have to make do with hidden Lego photographs.

I feel sorry for those 16,000 dead Chinese pigs.

I want a hobbit house bonsai tree.

Thieves stole the battery and tires from a crashed vehicle with the victim inside it.

They shoot horses, don’t they?

Happy birthday William Shatner.

Sex Survey

Take the Alibi’s First Ever Sex Survey!

Roses are red, violets are blue. If you a take our sex survey, I guess I will, too. It’s really short and not terribly invasive (multiple choice, short answer) and you can even skip some of the questions if they’re too hard. For example, it took me a while to think of a sexy celebrity … just like when I walk into a book store and can’t think of a single book I want. At any rate, I finally thought of one that reminds me of my wife. Maybe I’ll run into that famous lady at a party sometime and be tempted to pay her water bill. One can dream.

Celebrity b.s.

Happy Birthday, Joanna Newsom!

Play Youtube Video

Let’s listen to “The Sprout and the Bean.” Joanna’s voice seems to have a polarizing effect on people. Consider me polarized. This song leaves me speechless every time.

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Celebrity b.s.

Happy Birthday, Shari Lewis

Play Youtube Video

Even as a child I never understood the appeal of Shari Lewis, or even what she was up to in the most general sense. It’s true you could barely see her lips move, but there was never any question in my mind that she was just talking to herself in a funny voiceand rarely about anything I could focus on for more than a few seconds. She’s uncomfortable for children of all ages. Enjoy!

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Celebrity b.s.

Happy Birthday, Ronnie Milsap

Play Youtube Video

Back in 1984, blind country-western crooner Ronnie Milsap released this rocking crossover hit, “She Loves My Car,” with some surprising support from Exene Cervenka and John Doe of the band X. It seemed unusually edgy and tuneful for Milsap back then, and it still holds up pretty well. The video also features a young and early appearance by “Law and Order” star Mariska Hargitay.

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news

The Daily Word in robot bands, poop snakes and forbidden spheres.

The Daily Word

APD shooting declared justified.

Albuquerque is snowy.

Classified spheres!

An ambulance fell victim to a woman’s diabolical “ride home” scheme.

Robbers dug a tunnel into a bank, just like in the cartoons.

A snake made of poop.

Finally. A robot band.

Love song stories.

The Mystery of the Chinese Warehouse.

Thanks for the help Emily and Millington!

news

The Daily Word in Bowie, dreadlocks and crime vehicles.

The Daily Word

Ambulance joyride.

Taxi getaway car.

Choked with dreadlocks.

Tragic escalator accident.

David Bowie announces new album, etc.

Stone breasts survive lightning strike.

Then vs. Now.

Time to shoot an ibex.

Goodbye, HP jobs.

Happy birthday Wilkie Collins.

Thanks to Plant and Maliskas for the help!

news

The Daily Word in New Year's Day.

The Daily Word

The Senate passed a fiscal cliff deal.

People died in a deadly human stampede.

A suspected bomb builder gave birth.

Putin decided Russia has a drinking problem.

It's dangerous to be funny in Egypt.

New Year's Day is a big suicide day.

Take note of celebrity air rage incidents.

A Japanese porn star got 100 of bottles if ick.

What are the most hungover cities in America?

Here's a newborn baby elephant.

Parrots hate electronic music.

The world's biggest treehouse.

A cat enjoys the holidays.

Microscope photos.

APD DWI checkpoint report.

Happy birthday Frank Langella.

Thanks to Susan Petersen, Sarah Bonneau and Helenoid for the links.

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    MERICAN SLANG!8.28.2014