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RSSRaw posts and updates from our writers with info too timely or uncategorizable for print. What, we said something stupid? Chime in, buddy.


Letters From Downtown

Signs of Compassion

By Ty Bannerman [ Fri Nov 20 2015 1:58 PM ]

When you work Downtown, when you're here day after day, you deaden a bit to some of the things you see. A couple huddled in a doorway on a cold November morning, a worn-out blanket barely covering them; cops on bikes pulling a homeless man up off of the sidewalk, a puddle of vomit at his feet; an elderly gentleman in suit and tie, stalking down the street and shouting curses at the demons leaking from his head; none of these things provoke a second glance after a while. There's a lot of suffering here for sure and very little that one person can do. A dollar here, a dollar there, maybe that helps a bit, but the overall feeling is one of powerlessness, and slowly you become hardened to it.

Today, though, I noticed this sign in the window of Lindy's Diner, and that numbness thawed just a little bit. No, Lindy's isn't going to solve the problems of homelessness and hunger. And one single meal on one single day isn't "enough." But it is something, a reminder that hardness isn't the answer, that compassion is. And that even if we can never do enough, we can, and should, still try.

The Not Quite Weekly Alibi Podcast
Robert Maestas


The RETURN of the Alibi's Not Quite Weekly Podcast

We interview author Isabel Allende

By Ty Bannerman [ Thu Nov 19 2015 11:46 AM ]

Hey! Remember how we used to have a podcast? Well, we have a podcast again! This episode, we talk about gifts, chat about upcoming events and interview author Isabel Allende!

Check it out!

Courtney Foster, podcasting.


Can Courtney Be On a Podcast?

Yes. Yes she can.

By Ty Bannerman [ Fri Nov 13 2015 12:19 PM ]

If you've been following the adventures of our resident "person who does things" (we've got to think of a better title), Courtney Foster, you'll know that she's always up for trying something new. This past weekend, that "something new" was appearing on the Potential Problems Podcast, a banter-fest hosted by local comedians John Cuellar and Allen Clark.

It's an expletive filled hour or so that isn't afraid to explore some (hilariously) risque content, so maybe wait until the drive home from work before checking this out. But definitely DO check it out! Because these guys are funny and Courtney is too.

And hey! We're bringing our own podcast back from the grave, so watch this space for a brand new episode!

Event Horizon
Ryan Dickey via flickr

Event Horizon

Maximum Bacon Achieved

Saturday, Nov 7: 3rd Annual Southwest Bacon Fest

By Ty Bannerman [ Thu Nov 5 2015 12:00 PM ]
Celebrate bacon, beer and blues as 50 restaurants, food trucks and chefs serve up their most creative bacon dishes.
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Realistic renderings of kids' monster drawings are amazing

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Nov 4 2015 11:54 AM ]

Everybody knows that kids have the weirdest, most wonderful broken brains on the planet. And if you've ever looked at drawing made by the under-8 set, you've probably wondered what it be like if the lumpy, tentacled beast depicted actually roamed the earth.

The Monster Project has tasked a group of artists with bringing these child-drawn monstrosities ever so slightly closer to our world by rendering them in a realistic fashion, and the results are wonderful. Check them out, and also note that they have a kickstarter, so if you're moved by their work, you can support it directly.



The News You Missed

We scoop up what our competition won't touch

By Ty Bannerman [ Fri Oct 30 2015 2:17 PM ]

Once again, it's time for the Alibi's managing editor, me, to dig through the deluge of press releases that come flooding into our email account so I can bring you the stories that our competition isn't brave enough to cover!

Hi Ty, In January the Huffington Post boldly claimed that 2015 is the year of chickpea flour.

Holy shit, 2015 is the year of chickpea flour. And here I am scarfing down bagfuls of sorghum flour like an ignorant rube. Anyway, for those of you who are celebrating this important year, the author of the press release would like to direct your attention to this, the Chickpea Flour Cookbook.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE The Purcell Tire and Service Center in Albuquerque, New Mexico, moved its location in September of 2015.

Didn't see that one in the pages of the Free Press, did you?

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Trigger Electric Bull Horn

This horn man. This horn offers "maximum power in a compact, rugged, bright red package." This horn is loud, and you know it's loud, because Trigger Air Horn's slogan is "Go Loud or Go Home." And they certainly aren't going home. Why? Because THEY ARE GOING LOUD INSTEAD. SO LOUD.

Also, "they are so loud they are not for sale in North Dakota and Wyoming."

Check out their not-very-loud facebook page here. IF YOU CAN HANDLE IT!!!

This Is Making Your Herpes Recovery IMPOSSIBLE

First of all, this subject line is pretty presumptuous. But it's got nothing on the squirm-inducing body of the email, which can be nicely encapsulated in this quote from the release: "A recent scientific discovery now found how the virus can be 'flushed out' of his cranny."

No word on what the cranny-flushing scientific discovery is, or for that matter how we know that herpes is a he. There's a web link included, but I'm not going to post it here because I'm pretty sure that going there will give your computer herpes.



Chris DeCarlo: Sheriff for the new Confederacy, we guess?

By Ty Bannerman [ Fri Oct 23 2015 10:43 AM ]

There are not a lot of reasons that we here at the Albuquerque Weekly Alibi would pay attention to an independent sheriff candidate in Virginia, but it looks like an embarrassingly stilted, way too long "rap video" by said candidate will do the trick.

Who is Chris DeCarlo and what does he stand for? A quick glance at the press release he sent us tells us that he wants to fight another Battle of Manassas and, in general, "fix America" by reigniting the "War Between the States." Which seems a little counter-intuitive, but maybe we just don't get Virginia politics.

A viewing of his video further informs us that he stands for horse riding, vest-wearing and an overall platform of old white guys playing cowboy. And rapping.

So, um, if any of that sounds good to you and you live in Virginia, maybe vote for him? As for us, we're glad we don't have to deal with this particular king of crazy out here in New Mexico. But keep up the good work, Virginia! We are very entertained. And just a little scared.

Event Horizon

Event Horizon

Dance to the Funk of Forty Thousand Years

Saturday, Oct 24: Thrill The World ABQ 2015

By Ty Bannerman [ Thu Oct 22 2015 11:00 AM ]
A worldwide simultaneous "Thriller" dance to benefit Roadrunner Food Bank.
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Event Horizon, choking sun

Event Horizon

Lab Coats and Beer Goggles

Saturday, Oct 24: Science of Beer

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Oct 21 2015 5:00 PM ]
An evening of engaging talks and activities about the science and history of beer.
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The News You Missed

Important information from the e-mail archive

By Ty Bannerman [ Fri Oct 16 2015 10:11 AM ]

Sad to say, we here at the Alibi aren’t omniscient. In fact, we can barely even keep up with the press releases that appear in our email inboxes, let alone the doings of all sources of knowledge and information in the universe.

Recently, we decided to stop trying to be omniscient. And then, right after that, we decided to stop trying to keep up with our email in-boxes.

BUT there are still some press releases that get sent to us which for whatever reason we can't fit into the print edition of the paper, but still might be interesting to our readers.

So, here it is, the inaugural roundup of The News You Missed, where the Alibi rescues important press release headlines from the dustbin history.

'Fave Vegan Powders' Award Winner 2015

This headline pretty much sums up why I am not a vegan. But if you're a vegan who loves powder, this is relevant to your interests!

Lead Safety Week is coming; Are you ready?

Are you Alibi readers aware of how to behave safely around lead?

Rule #1: Don't eat lead.

Rule #2: Don’t feed it to your baby.

Rule #3: Just leave lead alone. Because you may be tempted to eat it or feed it to your baby.

In conclusion, fuck lead.

Tailgating Story: Throw a Pizza on the Grill

Unfortunately, I can't find a website with this important press release on it, but rest assured that throwing a pizza on a grill is a thing you can do, and a publicist out there thinks it would make a great story.

And finally,

Guinness World Record Event Turned "Big Apple" into "Big Tomato”

Sorry, New York, but this happened and there’s nothing anybody can do about it now.

There it is, the News You Missed, gathered up into one convenient blog package so that you, our beloved readers, may now go about the rest of your life as a slightly more informed member of the public. You're welcome.

Check back next Friday for more News You Missed!

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