Armed gunmen burst into an editorial meeting at the French satiric weekly Charlie Hebdo and murdered twelve people, including journalists and police officers.

The newspaper, often provocative and controversial, had a reputation for publishing cartoons that lampooned all sectors of society, but especially religion and politics.

In 2005, it drew worldwide attention for publishing caricatures of the prophet Muhammad.

The gunmen, who reportedly shouted "Allahu Ackbar" and "the Prophet is avenged" may have been retaliating against the paper for this reason.

Political cartoonists across Europe gave statements in response.

Salman Rushdie expressed his solidarity with those who died.

Vigils were held worldwide.

The gunmen fled and have not yet been found.

Good morning, it's Christmas Eve, 2014,

and the creepily-cute sun baby from Teletubbies revealed herself after 19-years of silence,

Santa Claus was somehow shanghaied into selling assault rifles,

probably because he was high,

Internet-fame-hungry murderer Luka Magnotta has been “dealt the harshest possible verdict” for killing and eating a Chinese national,

Santa Fe’s Jean Cocteau Theater WILL being showing The Interview on Christmas Day,

but Pornhub knows that some of us will be doing our Christmas "viewing" at home. With all the lights off and the door locked.

Good morning, it's Wednesday, November 19,

and the ladies of New Mexico continue to make less money than the men of New Mexico,

the detective who joked about shooting James Boyd right before he actually shot James Boyd is retiring from the force. It is unknown whether or not he is the same officer who shouted “Booyah!” after pulling the trigger,

researchers are studying the last election to determine how much impact voter ID laws had on turnout

and it turns out that Barbie is a terrible computer engineer. Luckily, she has boys to help her.

Meanwhile, much like pudding pop commercials in the ‘80s, the rape allegations against Bill Cosby keep on coming!

But this CNN host has some helpful tips on how to avoid being raped by Bill Cosby. Listen up ladies!

and Netflix has decided that now might not be the best time to air their Bill Cosby comedy special.

Have a great day!

A Las Cruces city attorney offered tips on how police departments can make more money: Just take people’s stuff, even if they’re not guilty of a crime. “It’s a gold mine!” he said. “We could be like Czars!”

One of the controversial and soon-to-be-dissolved Mars Hill Church’s leaders will soon be holding services in Albuquerque.

The Russians are watching you masturbate.

People don’t want to watch a man get eten by a snake.

Noted comedian and possible rapist Bill Cosby just discovered that a lot of people think he’s probably a rapist.

And behold! The world’s fastest bicycle-mounted Frenchman!

In a stunning upset that is sure to have far-reaching ramifications, a porcupine managed to fend off a pride of lions.

Many people this morning are very angry that Rob Lowe is making fun of those who suffer from “shy-bladder syndrome.”

Although they've been dealt a series of setbacks over the past few years, it turns out that fanged deer are still surviving in the wild.

Marijuana smokers have reason to be excited today: this video of a cute goat saying “what’ will surely benefit from being viewed while high.

In a move sure that may stoke illegal immigration fears, kissing bugs in Texas are now transmitting a disease previously though limited to Mexico.

And also I guess there was some kind of election yesterday.

Some sort of “wizard or spirit” showed up at the burning of El Kookooee last weekend. “It’s either a real humanoid figure up there hovering in the sky or it’s an extremely good projection from either a slide or some kind of camera,” said a ‘ghost enthusiast.’

A representative of a local haunted house attraction is on camera admitting that their brand of fright includes sexual assault, and also that they don’t do background checks on their professional gropers. Scary! But not in a fun way. More in an "actually committing sexual crimes" way.

What parts of New Mexico are haunted? Pretty much all of them, accordion to this website!

Allegedly ghost-infested asylum ruin still not torn down, probably won’t be torn down any time soon.

One thing I never could stomach about living in Houston: all the damn vampires.

A real estate firm has mapped out which cities are the worst for surviving a zombie uprising. Ha, suck it El Paso!

And France is apparently crawling with evil clowns.

Some guy turned two apartments in the NE Heights into his personal garage. The current residents aren’t too pleased.

We at the Alibi are bored with freaking out about Ebola. Let’s freak out about tuberculosis instead.

Cop killer Eric Frein is still at large in the PA woods, which is especially bad news for this other guy who looks just like him and would like for the police to stop pointing guns at him and making him lie on the ground.

The cost of the Hobbit trilogy is edging ever-closer to the $1 billion mark, perhaps due to the enormous costs associated with feeding a live dragon.

Syria is the hot new vacation destination for theocracy-inclined teenagers in Colorado this fall.

Good news, everybody! Kirk Cameron says it’s okay to celebrate Halloween!

APD officer Keith Sandy joked about shooting James Boyd in the penis before fatally shooting him in the chest. No he didn’t, says the Albuquerque Police Department. Yes he totally frigging did, says Keith Sandy.

Texans will soon arm themselves with crossbows to protect New Mexican pumpkins from wild pigs. This is not one of Nostradmus’s more obscure prophecies, but actually a real thing that’s happening. h/t Dukecityfix.

Cooking With Pooh and 24 more completely inappropriate (but real!) children’s books.

The new Left Behind movie has scored a rare and coveted blurb from Satan himself.

Here’s a new reason to freak out about ebola this week: Freak out!

Super-successful joke maker Seth MacFarlane made a (honestly not-very good) joke about New Mexico last night. News 13 is on the case!

Hey, Albuquerque made a top-5 list of cities for foodies in Women’s Health Magazine! Let’s see what this well-researched article says about us. “Mexican and Tex-Mex cuisines have been ABQ mainstays for—seemingly—ever.” Have you ever seen an entire city facepalm itself, Women’s Health?

Rain is coming! Thanks to Tropical Storm Odile.

A Las Vegas, NM man may have the second ever authenticated photo of Billy the Kid.

Forensic study of Richard III’s skeleton reveals that when he went down, he went down hard.

Santa Fe’s advisory Public Safety Committee is struggling to wrap their heads around the marijuana decriminalization law. “It’s unlawful but it’s not a big deal?” said committee member Joe Arellano. “I’m not sure I understand.” Actually, Joe, that’s pretty much it. This isn’t hard. Really.

And later today, we’ll find out which major league team the ‘Topes will feed into.

Remember the pot question that was going to be on the ballot, then wasn’t going to be on the ballot, then was going to be on the ballot? It’s not going to be on the ballot.

You don’t have to dig up an Alamogordo landfill to find a lot of copies of a terrible game from the last century. A store in Albuquerque has hundreds of copies of “Night Trap,” the 1993 game that sent Senaotor Lieberman into apoplexy and pushed the industry to adopt a rating system.

Roses!

A Colorado teen has plead guilty to conspiring to help ISIS.

Does your Internet seem slow today? Time to learn about net neutrality.

And Facebook likes Harry Potter better than the bible.