Nothing to see here! Move along.
"Bored to Death". Great show. Great blog.
Um, that's what she said.
Your salmon loaf with salmon stuffing and salmon gravy made me beg for mercy. Next time I come over for dinner we need to have a safety word.
I'll go with that from now on.
In a byline, "With additional reporting by" can be shortened to "Big Ups To."
Do not combine a dash & a colon. It will open a portal to the Lost Tomb of Colonel McCormick. Also, it looks like a tiny dong.
When writing front-page headlines, make sure they are clear, can be read while spinning and move the movie's plot forward.
"Bloody Mary" on first and second mentions, "Mary" on third to avoid summoning her through the mirror.
Before using public domain works in your story, wash your hands. Other people have to use them too, you know.
The proper use for a douche is to apply the liquid to any area that may be dry or have unwanted odors.
Screw Sicily and other countries with equally strange flags. I'm particularly miffed at Libya.
Your dad reminds me of my dad. My dad was the man who didn't see the point in buying anything from a store because "with some two-by-fours and nails we could just build it". He currently hopes to remove the front end of one of his trucks and replace it with the front end of a front-wheel drive car making his truck all-wheel drive. Or something like that.
I always liked how comfortable he was with being from another planet.
That's some bird, I suppose.
Sometimes I drunk-tweet.