Red Dragon Invades Downtown

Monster possibly about to make a trip to Knockouts

Looks little...

I love this weird city. A crowd of shrieking and pointing passersby attracted me to the front entrance of Knockouts on my way back from lunch this afternoon. It was not a dancer doing something outrageous. It was the biggest four-legged reptile I’ve ever encountered outside of a zoo. It was rough and reddish, with a long white band on its tail and enormous jowls. Unlike the speedy Godzilla, or a Komodo dragon, it was crawling along like cold honey. And it was moving steadily towards the Knockouts door. His owner stood calmly minding him, answering questions from rubberneckers like me.

Me: “Holy shit!”

Owner: “ ... “

But it’s big!

Me: “What is that?”

Owner: “Red tegu.”

Me: “Where’s it from?”

Owner: “Argentina.”

Me: “Oh my god, what does it eat?”

Owner: “Meat. He’s a carnivore.”

Me: “Holy shit!”

The nice man explained, however, that he has this particular red tegu on a diet of wet dog food. Still, I wouldn’t try to pet it, as they are known for eating anything that can fit between their jaws.

Is that a goiter?

Just takin my lizard to the strip club.