Words vs. syllables

The difference is one evil monkey

Dave Stokes

This monkey cannot write haikus.

Those readers who pick up the print addition will notice a small blip in the ”Culture Shock” column this week. We are soliciting submissions for our annual haiku contest. (This is still in effect. Send ‘em in!)

The column is written in haiku format, so clearly I know what that is. But some kind readers have pointed out—in variously witty ways—that the instructions ask for lines featuring 5, then 7, then 5 words. The proper allotment for verbosity is 5-7-5 syllables. This error has already been corrected online, so those readers who only interact with us in cyberspace have nothing to worry about. Sadly, there is nothing we can do about the print version except offer up the explanation.

Late Tuesday, when we were scurrying to get the paper in order and off to the printer, I heard a whinnying and scraping in Kimo Way. I went back there and opened the door to find a Pegasus. It was dingy and it smelled like trash, but it was still a Pegasus in all its glory. Never having ridden one, but always yearning to do so, I grabbed its wavy mane, jumped onto its silvery back, and it leapt into the sky.

While I was soaring through the clouds, an evil monkey snuck into my office. Seeing my unfinished haiku article open on my computer, he removed his suit coat and fedora and had a seat at my desk.

After galavanting on the Pegasus and bidding it farewell, I was so starry-eyed I didn’t even notice that the article was finished and sent off in my absence.

I sincerely apologize for the misinformation and word/syllable confusion. If anyone sees a dapper evil monkey, please report it to the Alibi offices immediately. While you’re at it, grab him and explain that haikus are arranged in 5-7-5 syllables.