One step away from becoming a vegetarian

No, please, don't put that on a burger

That's not making me hungry.
That's not making me hungry.

Carl's Junior has always been at the forefront of weird burger/other meat combinations. Lately, I have been inundated with a commercial regarding a hamburger with Philly cheese steak on top. My triglycerides try to escape my body and hurl themselves at the screen. Disgusting.

There is of course the pastrami burger. Also disgusting.

I find it hard to contain my revulsion. Anything other than a bacon cheeseburger is decadent and depraved as far as I'm concerned.

But I also have some ideas for other heart clogging meat on meat mash-ups for the folks at Carl's.

One, The St. Patties Day Melt. It is a double cheeseburger with corned beef and cabbage on top. It should be served with green french fries and a heart catheter.

Two, the Orgy of Death Burger. It is a triple cheeseburger topped with eight kinds of American cheese, Texas Chili, bacon, sausage, ham, pastrami — in fact all the cured meats — and served between two pieces of fried chicken rather than a bun. Gorge thyself on the flesh of lesser beings.

Three, the Universe is a Cruel and Uncaring Void Six Dollar Burger. Feast on a quadruple cheeseburger, the patties made of lamb, milk fed veal and baby duck. The entire thing is rolled in foie gras and served with fries made with potatoes grown on clear cut Amazonian farms.
Never has violating Leviticus been so delicious.
I'm going to go eat a tomato.