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5 Reasonable Burque Reactions to the Balloon Fiesta

1. When our dogs freak out at balloon noises

2. When I-25 near Paseo del Norte becomes a parking lot

3. When we’re trying to find a parking space in Old Town

4. When there’s a wait at local restaurants

5. But when an Abq business stays afloat because of tourist money…

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How (Not) to Conduct Your Semester

  Begin with soaring goals 
  

 

  Remember you hate doing work 
   

 

  Crumple under the pressure 
   

 

  Find an excuse to take incompletes 
   

 

  Insist none of this is your fault 
   
  

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    My Pet Peeves Interpreted by “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”

    1. When typos attack

    2. When it’s summertime

    3. When publicists attack

    4. When sources don’t return calls/emails

    5. When people make assumptions about me because I’m a woman who smiles a lot and has a slight Southern drawl

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    5 Burqueño Reactions to Rain and More Rain

    Disbelief

    Confusion

    Relief

    Glee

    Boredom

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      Tips for Enjoying Your July Fourth

      1. Take precautions to ensure children and pets are safe

      2. For daytime events, sunscreen is recommended

      3. Know your limits

      4. Keep water accessible at all times

      5. If you’re going to set off fireworks in a drought-stricken desert, at least don’t do THIS

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      Using Public Transportation in Albuquerque

      What you think you look like running across UNM to catch the Blue Line:

      What you really look like:

      What you do when you think you see someone you know get on the stop after you:

      What that super drunk guy on the 66 does when he thinks he knows you:

      What happens when you remember that you actually drove to work/school/downtown this morning:

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      How You Know It’s Summer in the Duke City

      1. Construction starts on every single major street simultaneously

      2. Your neighbors begin their xeriscaping projects

      3. Droves of hipsters hit the Paseo del Bosque Trail

      4. The Downtown Growers Market opens at 7 a.m.—or so you hear

      5. You wonder when “monsoon season” is actually going to show up

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      A day in the life of a managing/music editor

      As interpreted by Christian Bale

      1. Getting out of conversations with overzealous publicists

      2. Suspecting I rely too much on caffeine for mental clarity

      3. Realizing I’m more comfortable interviewing others than I am being interviewed

      4. Sharing my musical obsessions with anyone who’ll listen

      5. Waiting for you to like and share our Facebook posts

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