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The Daily Word 03.20.09

The Daily Word

Chicken sweaters.

A fungus has killed almost every bat in Connecticut. Lamentably.

A dangerous naked teenager took a poodle for a walk.

The yeti made hand prints and vocalizations in Alabama. Also, Elusive Primates of North America (EPNA) is merging with the much more sophisticated sounding American Primate Research Organization (APRO). “What’s that?” “We look for bigfoot.” “Oh.”

Almost every native Hawaiian bird is endangered.

Just to reinforce a comment from lucas yesterday, you can be Christopher Walken.

Look at the cool sitcom map.

The world’s deadliest spider was loose in a Tulsa Whole Foods, having hitched in a ride on some bananas. Then they thought it was a harmless Huntsman Spider, but I guess we’ll never know because it was “destroyed” for safety purposes. Good for you, Tulsa!

Rihanna and Chris Brown are “taking a break” from each other.

When nuclear subs and amphibious warships collide.

Find out what’s new with Charles Manson. Not much, by the sound of it. Even though he, himself, is brand new. Here’s what he has to say about that.

DWI arrests are up due solely to the tireless efforts of law enforcement.

Darren White misses the death penalty alrready, and we haven’t even hardly started not killing anyone yet.

It’s William Hurt’s birthday. Here he is tripping out in Altered States. (Careful, kids. It shows some boobs.)