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The Daily Word 10.18.10: Beaver’s mom, yetis and UFOs.

The Daily Word

Actress Barbara Billingsly, the Beaver’s mom, is dead at 94.

Evil Saudi prince kills servant.

German chancellor says multicultural society has failed. This is current news.

Osama bin Laden is living in a house in Pakistan.

A foul-smelling old woman came back to life.

A sexy yeti was photographed in China.

CPR just got easier.

Most Star Trek deaths were, in fact, Red Shirts.

UFOs visit Brooklyn hipsters, and others.

There was a police standoff at 12th and Griegos.

Church stabbings happen sometimes.

Elizabeth Cano drove her SUV through a marathon.

Happy birthday, Jean Claude Van Damme.

Public Comments (4)
  • Red Shirts vs Storm Troopers  [ Mon Oct 18 2010 10:59 AM ]

    I can't believe people argue about that. Red shirts would totally mop the floor with storm troopers.

    Red shirts are usually fairly competent people, just unlucky enough to be facing terrible (sometimes godlike) new threats every week. Sure, you can sneak up on them ("What Are Little Girls Made Of?") when they're not expecting trouble, or trick them ("The Man Trap"). Put them up against a robot that has planet-killing firepower ("The Changling") and you'll see they're only human. These aren't fair fights and storm troopers would do just as badly or worse.

    The further you get away from the mysteries at the beginning of an episode, the more effective they are. When a landing party of red shirts beams down at the end of an episode, it's like the cavalry has arrived and the hostiles probably won't even put up a fight ("Friday's Child"). One anonymous red shirt at the end of "That Which Survives" reacts with assertive lightning speed, accurately shooting his target to save everyone's ass, and he is nothing special. No one applauds, "Yay, you're so bad ass for a red shirt." No, he's just a typical well-trained Star Fleet professional, doing what is expected of him.

    Storm Troopers, by comparison, just plain suck. They suck all the time (even near the end of a movie; watch a princess mow them down at the end of "The Empire Strikes Back"), and usually face an enemy that they basically can understand and should be able to cope with (unless they're fighting a Jedi). How hard is it to take out Chewbacca? Just shoot him! And yet they fail, fail, and fail. If a red shirt acted as incompetently as a typical storm trooper, Kirk would relieve him of duty immediately.

    Give me a hundred red shirts, and I'll overthrow the empire. Sure, I'll lose 10% of them in the first few minutes as the emperor springs some trick on them and a few get eaten by monsters that creep up behind them, but after that, it's no contest.

  • Shitty equipment.  [ Mon Oct 18 2010 1:20 PM ]

    Storm troopers are forced to lug around bulky armor so weak as to be useless. I can only assume that their blasters don't shoot particularly straight.

    Maybe if they had phasers and mandalorian battle armor...

    ...and while we're on the subject:

    Play Youtube Video

  • Barbara Billingsley  [ Mon Oct 18 2010 1:47 PM ]

    Her finest moment (as mentioned in the obit) ...

    Play Youtube Video

  • Beaming Down  [ Tue Oct 19 2010 9:07 AM ]

    Yeah, there was always that guy in the Red Shirt at the beginning of every episode. All the regulars seemed to know him and, when it came time to beam down to the planet's surface, he was invited along. And, of course, he would die.

    Also, being Capt. James Tiberius Kirk's classmate at The Academy meant one was doomed--a meglamanical madman who just had to be put down.

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