Maksim Gelman: stabber.
William Pitel: stabber.
Who could have taken the King Tut Statue? Who? Who?
Arcade Fire won Album of the Year at the Grammy Awards.
Don’t eat the yogurt at the Playboy Mansion.
They are selling eight Beyblades to replace a destroyed bathtub.
Uh, oh. There’s a Siberian wolf problem.
Tiger Woods is in trouble for spitting.
Energy drinks can be tasty kid killers.
A New Mexican artist hits the big boing time.
The seven nerdiest sex toys.
Perhaps a catchy rap song could teach you to solve a Rubik’s Cube.
Bigfoot loves Zagunut Bars. Really? It sounds like an elaborate lie, but who am I to say.
Metro Court is ready for over 100 Valentine’s Day weddings (no same-sex, though).
Al Sharpton says essentially nothing about Susana Martinez.
There’s a bill to create a $100 fine for feeding pigeons.
Cedric Lara: evil mailman.
Happy birthday to my Valentine, Florence Henderson, hopped up on goofballs, dripping with gross.