The Daily Word: 6.24.11

Monsanto ought to offer a service where they'll graft your embryo's DNA to make it "Roundup Ready." They wouldn't even need to charge for the procedure, because after birth, they could recoup their costs by making the kid pay for a license to use the genes they're carrying around.

Best of all, they could then charge the kid again if they ever want to reproduce, since usage and distribution would require different licenses.

You get to be a grandma or grandpa, and your family has no birth defects (as well as being able to easily de-weed by bathing in Roundup). And Monsanto gets their money. Everyone wins.