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The Daily Word in radiation fines, poop-free beards and Deflategate

The Daily Word

It’s Wednesday, May 6,

And an “abstinence only” high school’s student population is suffering from a chlamydia outbreak.

No, beards don’t naturally have poop in them, (ahem, Constance).

Oh, hey, remember Deflategate? It’s back.

One employee has been released from the hospital and another remains critical after an accident at Los Alamos National Labs.

New Mexico cattle have been mysteriously disappearing. Probably stolen by rustlers. I mean, aliens. Obviously, aliens.

A rapist on probation was thrown back into jail after it was discovered he owned a copy of the “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” DVD.

And the Department of Energy has agreed to pay the state of New Mexico $73 million dollars in fines following a radiation leak at the WIPP underground waste facility.

Have a great day!