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Personals

"I Saw You" at the Wrong Birthday Party

Who saw? Who was seen? Was it you?

Happy bouncy birthday

I was at the wrong party, but everyone was lovely. It was your birthday. Your friend told me to give you my phone number, but when I left you were surrounded with affection and I felt shy. If you wanted my number, find me.

Kamikaze Bicyclist

You, clueless, reckless MORON on a bicycle turning in front of me just as I was turning right with my signal on for a while, 10/23 at 7:15pm. I realize you MORONS think that traffic rules don't apply to you, and you think they apply to motor vehicle drivers only. Next time you do that, I hope you won't be so lucky and the driver won't stop in time. You shouldn't be allowed to propagate your low IQ DNA. Want to be treated like a pedestrian? Walk! Like a vehicle? Follow the rules of the road!

Bye-bye my bootcamp boy

You were getting ready to leave for bootcamp. My insecurities couldn't keep me from seeing you one more time. I tried to look my best for you. You always said none of that matters. We missed our movie, my shoe broke, we went the wrong way on a one way, and a car almost hit us. I can honestly say, I never smiled so much! I don't know how to say how I feel. Just know, I've always wanted you, and only you, since I laid my eyes on you. Spend New Year’s with me—let's rent a cabin and lose ourselves.

Scent of A Woman

You, angelic, pleasantly plump blond woman on exercise bicycle. Me, man with superhero sense of smell on the rowing machine next to you. Your scent taunts me. I don't see a ring on your finger. You looked at me several times and smiled that innocent-little-girl-next-door-who-knows-I'm-making-him-crazy smile. You appealed to my baser nature, but I mate for life. You know what I look like, now see how evolved this Man, in the noblest sense of the word, is. I could drink a case of you.

 
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