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4th Party Roundup

Yeah, yeah, Bronco Bama and Mittens Whatever. Surely some of you are as sick as I am of the non-stop coverage those guys get and are wondering how the OTHER candidates are doing.

No, I don’t mean that Gary Johnson, Jill Stein crap either. I’m talking about the candidates with integrity! The candidates with boots on their heads, with magical flying reindeer, with no mouths whatsoever, and who may or may not actually exist!

Sadly, things aren’t looking so good for our below-the-ballot candidates:

Hello Kitty, by virtue of her London birth (!) is disqualified from seeking office.

Mr. The-Rent-Is-Too-Damn-High seems to have scuppered his presidential campaign and is now, according to his website, "exploring the possibility" of either running for New York mayor, and/or getting "a candidate on the ballot" in all 50 states in 2013. (What are we voting for in 2013?)

Santa Claus sold us out and is endorsing Jill Stein.

And finally, Vermin Supreme openly admits that a vote for him "is a vote completely thrown away." (Although we all get ponies if he wins!)

Screw it, I'm voting for Pogo.

 
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