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Sex and Its Discontents

Alibi Sex Survey graphgasmic data orgy #4: The final chapter

In which we discover smoking after sex is officially out of fashion, among other things

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, the graphgasmographical data stream comes to a drippy end. Some things I learned about Burqueños: The vast majority have made out with strangers, yet haven’t caught a sexually-transmitted disease. Hmm. They also wouldn’t be caught dead smoking after sex. No surprise there, seeing how high “bad breath” scored on the turn-offs list. There’s a statistical dead heat on the importance of penis size and on having fooled around with a co-worker—so you may as well just flip a coin. The pro-anal-sex camp outnumbers the “once” or “never” camp by a healthy margin. But, more romantically, most people are not interested in an open relationship and would stick with their current partner for that one-last-shtup before the world ends—and furthermore, most have kept friendly with their ex-partners-in-crime. How warm and fuzzy.

So what does that say about Albuquerque? Promiscuous yet hygienic? Faithful yet forgiving? Free-thinking yet conservative? Who the hell knows? I’m just glad you’re all out there keeping things sexy for the rest of us. Let’s do it again sometime.

Have you ever made out with a stranger?

Have you had sex with a boss or co-worker?

Have you ever caught a Sexually Transmitted Disease?

Have you tried anal sex?

If the world were ending, would you have sex with your partner or someone else?

Would you consider an open sexual relationship?

The eternal question: Does penis size matter?

Are you generally on friendly terms with your exes?

Do you like to smoke after sex?

 
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