If only all of life was as simple as a data cloud with Sex Threesome looming large in the foreground. Maybe that’s what a future with everyone in the world wearing a Google Glass headset looks like. At least, that’s what it’ll look like in Albuquerque, according to our still-in-progress Second Annual Sex Survey.
Preliminary results from “My sexiest experience ever was …” reveal an interesting recurrence of key phrases from responses like “Successfully tying myself up for my boyfriend, so that when he came home he'd have a nice little surprise after a long day at work.” and “My boyfriend at the time wanted me to become more interested in video games. He told me he wanted me to play Dead Island while he performed oral sex on me.” The resulting cloud obviously only scratches the surface, but it’s clear some people really like their boyfriends.
And it came to pass in those days (January 2013 to be precise), that there went out a decree from the Weekly Alibi, that all of Albuquerque should be sexed. And all went to be sexed, every one into his (or her) own perversion or persuasion, the better to be counted thereby. And the Alibi looked upon the results of the census, and, behold, it was sexy; for the way of all flesh was not to be denied.
But unlike that dude with the white beard whose response to wickedness was, some might say, a little extreme with the water and the ark and all, the Alibi instead decreed that once again Albuquerque should be sexed. And lo, the Second Annual Alibi Sex Survey came to pass.
Yes, the time has come again to be counted. Top or bottom? Give or receive? Dildo, vibrator, nipple clamp? All of the above? We’re dying to know. Survey is open now until January 29. Results revealed to the eager public on February 6. Get cracking!
Roses are red, violets are blue. If you a take our sex survey, I guess I will, too. It’s really short and not terribly invasive (multiple choice, short answer) and you can even skip some of the questions if they’re too hard. For example, it took me a while to think of a sexy celebrity … just like when I walk into a book store and can’t think of a single book I want. At any rate, I finally thought of one that reminds me of my wife. Maybe I’ll run into that famous lady at a party sometime and be tempted to pay her water bill. One can dream.