Ten Things I Hate About Simon McCormack’s Birthday
1) Everyone is all, “Ooooh, Simon, Simon.”
2) Frankincense and myrrh.
3) His solid gold cupcake.
4) Simon gets to pick what’s for dinner.
5) He lives in a Zoo. He looks like a monkey.
6) And many more on channel four. And the big, fat lady on channel eighty.
7) Special Birthday Message to Simon from Queen of England. Stop.
8) He seems happy enough on regular days.
9) Spanking tunnel.
10) What about Dawn? It’s her birthday, too!