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RSSRaw posts and updates from our writers with info too timely or uncategorizable for print. What, we said something stupid? Chime in, buddy.

timewaster

The Daily Word in armlessness, the Kegelmaster 2000, turkey insemination, and

By Geoffrey Plant and Gretchen Hudson [ Sun Sep 11 2011 12:24 PM ]
The Daily Word
In the news: Antique, modern, amazing armless people, Jan Van Eyck, Look, with a vacuum cleaner, things people save, Schoolbus, church, Kegel exercises, Kegelmaster 2000, world's first progressive resistance vaginal exerciser, one man, ghost-city of Ordos, pigeon shit, Turkey inseminator, Blue Andy Rooney, 9/11/1972, WORLD'S MOST BORING MAN

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Timewaster

Fashion cats

By E.J. Maliskas [ Tue Aug 23 2011 2:01 PM ]

Q: What's cuter than a soft little kitty with big tawny eyes?

A: A soft little kitty with big tawny eyes dressed in Victorian garb!

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Timewaster

What’s that humming sound?

By Nick Brown [ Wed Aug 17 2011 11:29 AM ]

Nevermind. It stopped.

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Timewaster

Cannonballs of class

Leisure divingthe latest pointless activitiy making a big splash

By Sam Adams [ Tue Aug 16 2011 1:00 PM ]

There’s some oft-repeated saying I used to hear in art classes about how “all the good ideas have already been taken.” Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks this is a bunch of blowhard b.s. And the people are taking to the streets. But while they may be disproving the establishment, the results aren’t exactly Kafkaesque.

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Timewaster

The name of the cookie.

By Nick Brown [ Thu Jul 28 2011 12:07 PM ]

Yesterday I was standing near a plate of little brown cookies at a funeral reception. A woman asked me what kind of cookies they were.

“They’re called Me Neithers,” I told her. “Do you like them?”

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Timewaster

New Restaurant

By Nick Brown [ Wed Jun 29 2011 7:28 PM ]

I ate lunch at some new restaurant at Second and Tijeras today and it gave me Galeria.

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Timewaster

Old Sayings… Interrupted

By Nick Brown [ Mon Jun 20 2011 11:30 PM ]

Why buy the cow when… I wouldn’t marry that cow.

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Timewaster

Ghost Hunting Tour Wednesday June 8th at Casa Esencia

By Nick Brown [ Wed Jun 8 2011 10:47 AM ]

I’m conducting a 21+ tour of the paranormal tonight (Wednesday, June 8th) at Casa Esencia, formerly Maria Teresa Restaurant, at 800 Rio Grande NW. That place is literally crawling with ghosts, demons, monsters, ogres and middle-aged Hispanic women in maroon dresses. I think there’s also a dance party there, but whatever. I’m looking for ghosts and maybe scooping ice cream or something. Casa Esencia: it are hornted.

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Timewaster

The Army spent billions developing a secret code.

By Nick Brown [ Wed Apr 27 2011 10:15 AM ]

When I was in the army they were working on a secret code: "One" meant "I don't know."

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Timewaster

I received an important message from Brose Lachian in my spam trap.

By Nick Brown [ Fri Mar 4 2011 9:30 AM ]

Brose writes, in pertinent part:

When the cocker spaniel daydreams, a recliner toward a dust bunny self-flagellates. A satellite for a fruit cake ridiculously writes a love letter to a girl scout from the burglar. Indeed, a wedge about a tuba player makes a truce with a movie theater. Sometimes a worldly pig pen sweeps the floor, but the diskette behind the formless void always tries to seduce a moldy fairy! A linguistic oil filter knowingly satiates an almost boiled satellite. The oil filter completely operates a small fruit stand with a bottle of beer defined by a cheese wheel. When a turkey leaves, another ski lodge from the tripod reads a magazine. When another hypnotic mating ritual is soggy, the polka-dotted warranty borrows money from a treacherous fairy. Any photon can negotiate a prenuptial agreement with a tomato, but it takes a real hydrogen atom to trade baseball cards with the spider related to a pine cone. Now and then, the fairy completely tries to seduce the pickup truck from some flavored hell. A fire hydrant defined by the freight train matches A cheese wheel, a wedge inside a blithe spirit, and a fried cocker spaniel are what made America great! Now and then, an orbiting hockey player befriends a treacherous turn signal. Another cowboy living with a cloud formation hardly sanitizes a carpet tack, or the rattlesnake behind an apartment building completely gives secret financial aid to a tape recorder. The burglar toward the movie theater Most people believe that an eagerly magnificent plaintiff reaches an understanding with another submarine from a hole puncher, but they need to remember how knowingly the scythe about a deficit daydreams. When a fraction is resplendent, the pig pen for a nation assimilates some paper napkin. A lazily cantankerous demon secretly admires some sheriff. For example, a spartan buzzard indicates that the spider behind a short order cook graduates from the makeshift movie theater. The pig pen toward a tabloid Now and then, the chess board related to a grizzly bear secretly finds subtle faults with a t [...]

Then a gigantic virus crashed my computer.

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