The Daily Word in Ancestors, Serpents and the Woolies

The Daily Word

A family in Abilene, TX found a rattlesnake in their toilet. Just to be safe, they checked under the house and found 23 more! Oh Jesus on a hotplate, that gives me the woolies something fierce.

Remember that creepy four-legged robot that Boston Dynamics made a few years back? Well, now they've added wheels and more functionality. Check out the leaked video, in which the founder of the company calls the robot "nightmare-inducing." Yeah, no kidding.

Archaeology find of the year: 12,000-year-old remains of a man with huge prostate stones in the Sudan. We're talking about the size of a walnut, here!

Um. I don't want to think of the implications involved in this study. It shows that corn-based diets low in vitamin B3 will make hamsters eat their young.

Tell your friends to move here if they want to escape the dust mite scourge. The coasts are infested with them because they need humidity to survive. Ugh. I could've lived without seeing the microscopic images.

Creepin' crawlers! What a shit day to look at the internet. This snake learned a new trick to lure prey: wagging it's tongue back and forth.

The oldest known relative of human beings was a millimeter long sea creature that didn't have an anus. (Pfft. Maybe yours, bro.) Why is there an artist's rendition? That's it, dammit. I'm done here.