Michigan Cock Up ... er, Caucus

Trust me--this is much more interesting to look at than a picture of Mitt Romney.
Trust me--this is much more interesting to look at than a picture of Mitt Romney.

Old Republicans must be eating buckets of Advil today. Once upon a time, in fact, for a generation, the GOP has had an orderly, kind of boring nomination process. Not since Barry Goldwater made them wet their pants in 1964 has the GOP faced utter chaos at its convention.

How delicious! Romney wins Michigan to trump McCain's New Hampshire surprise to pull ahead (by three) of plucky Huck's delegate count. Ron Paul scores higher than the grumpy guy from “Law and Order,” someone named Duncan Hunter finally gets a delegate and the cross-dresser from the Big Apple who channels Mussolini is fast disappearing from everyone's radar (except maybe other cross-dressers from NYC who also have a thing for Italian fascists in white uniforms with braided gold epaulets).

Clinton won more than 60 percent of the meaningless Democratic vote because she was the only major candidate to keep her name on the ballot. The DNC had stripped Michigan of all delegates for moving its primary up without permission. Maybe Clinton got a cheap thrill out of this. Good on her.

In the meantime, at the Nevada debate, which has got to be the silliest of the 300,000,000,000,000,000 debates so far, Clinton says she's down with Obama being black, but won't mention it again. Obama's cool with Clinton being a woman—not that there's anything wrong with that. Edwards insists he isn't angry, though there's nothing wrong with that either. And Dennis Kucinich, who actually might have had something substantive to say, is made to stand in the hall.