Alibi V.14 No.44 • Nov 3-9, 2005

Jurassic Best of Burque Restaurants World

The most ferocious of prehistoric reader polls is back

What's your favorite New Mexican food? What's your favorite dinosaur? Ok, now put them together and what do you get? An Enchiladodon? A Chileopteryx? A Tacoraptor? A Sopaipillatops? Awesome! Get ready for the T. Rex of “Best of City” contests: The original Best of Burque Restaurants will be hitting Weekly Alibi racks and website on Thursday, Oct. 12. The polls are open now. Vote on your favorite Frito pie, vegetarian food, Japanese restaurant and local brewery. Let your voice be heard! Rawr!

feature

The Alibi's Worry Issue

Stop it! You're freaking me out!

No offense to Bob Marley, but if you don't worry about a thing, if you really think every little thing's going to be all right, then you're smoking something a lot stronger than plain old Mary Jane. The world's a scary place, and it's getting scarier with each passing month. Sure, we've put Halloween, Dia de los Muertos and a creepy city election behind us, but we here at the Alibi sincerely believe the worst is yet to come.

The Worry Wheel

Spin your way to a worry-filled day

With so much worrisome activity in the world today, it's getting harder and harder to determine what's merely a source of concern and what's really worth worrying about. Stop waffling over your worries: Let the Alibi Worry Wheel take all the guesswork out of fretting. From the apocalypse to pinkeye, we've got 32 of your favorite neurotic obsessions in one convenient little spinner. Keep one at home, in the car and at the office—you'll never be far from something to worry about!

A Glossary of Phobias

Arachibutyrophobia—fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth
Dishabiliophobia—fear of undressing in front of someone
Medomalacuphobia—fear of losing an erection
Papaphobia—fear of the Pope
Politicophobia—fear of politicians
Anablephobia—fear of looking up
Anuptaphobia—fear of staying single
Autodysomophobia—fear of one that has a vile odor
Coulrophobia—fear of clowns
Eremophobia—fear of being oneself
Euphobia—fear of hearing good news
Hellenologophobia—fear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology
Metrophobia—fear of poetry
Optophobia—fear of opening your eyes
Phagophobia—fear of being eaten
Phalacrophobia—fear of becoming bald
Pteronophobia—fear of being tickled by feathers
Soceraphobia—fear of parents-in-law
Source: phobialist.com

Deadly Bugs

Creepy, crawly, creepy, crawly, creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly, creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly

No matter how many times someone reassuringly tells you, "most insects aren't poisonous," or "they're more scared of you than you are of them," their advice doesn't seem to resonate whenever a bug of some sort crawls up your leg, flies into your mouth or is located anywhere near your general vicinity. The truth is, you have good reason to be terrified of bugs.

Fun with Diseases

Let's do the Hypochondriac Shuffle, shall we?

Necrotizing Fasciitis—This disease, which involves a type of flesh-eating bacteria, can affect many parts of the body but usually is found in the extremities. It's characterized by, among other things, unexplained fever, inflammation of the infected area and raised lesions filled with purple or blue fluid. Early detection is key because the disease can spread very easily to other parts of the body. Still, it's probably not a good idea to rush to the hospital every time you have an unexplained fever or a rash. But may we suggest instead gouging away any suspicious-looking flesh with a pocketknife or other sharp object?

The Truth is Out There

A few of our favorite conspiracy websites

www.conspiracyplanet.com
Features conspiracy topics regarding 9/11, anthrax, genetic engineering and much, much more.

www.bvalphaserver.com
Includes articles on UFOs, cloning, chemical weapons and more.

www.theinsider.org
Conspiracies from the past and present, including our government's current hidden agenda and Christopher Columbus' web of lies.

www.freemasonrywatch.org
Conspiracies related to the Free Masons.

www.conspiracyarchive.com
Articles on World War II and United Nations hoaxes as well as a section dedicated to microchips implanted in people's brains.

www.batesmotel.8m.com
A site entirely dedicated to proving that we never landed on the moon.

www.mcadams.posc.mu.edu/sites.htm
Discusses the various theories about who really shot JFK.

www.museumofhoaxes.com
Features a forum where conspiracy theorists can chat about whatever is on their mind. No topic is too out-there or farfetched.

www.topsitelists.com/bestsites/conspire/
A ranking of over 20 conspiracy sites. (Scroll down.)

21st Century Thieves

For all you know, your identity has already been stolen

It happened to Sandra Bullock in 1995's classic action thriller, The Net, so why can't it happen to you? Think your boring life can't erode into a murderous web of lies, accented with spontaneous explosions, perpetrated by some conniving thief? Think again.

film

Reel World

Post-Tromatic Success Disorder—The 2nd annual TromaDance New Mexico film festival (Oct. 21-23) seemed to bring out the crowds with an impressive lineup of five feature films and 40-plus shorts, all produced through the blood, sweat and tears of local filmmakers. When the dust settled, the Audience Choice Awards ended up going to Scott Phillips' twisted superhero parody “Scream, Science Bastard, Scream” in the short category and to Richard Griffin's hillbilly monster movie Seepage in the feature category. The Burning Paradise Independent Spirit Award went to Heidi Griffin's documentary “The Subject to Change,” while the “El Quemado” Grand Prize went to Cyndi Trissel's horror parody “Phone Friends.” Congratulations to Burning Paradise, Troma Entertainment, the Guild Cinema and to all the filmmakers for their success.

Where the Truth Lies

Sexy showbiz mystery fails to convince

I'm just guessing here, but I would assume that filmmaker Atom Egoyan is a bit of an anomaly in Canada. Egyptian-born, Armenian-blooded, but raised in the chilly wilds of Western Canada, Egoyan has, for decades, been one of the premier agent provocateurs of the indie film biz. From the voyeuristic edge of his early work (Family Viewing, Speaking Parts) to the kinky kick of his middle-period films (The Adjuster, Exotica) to the mathematically precise heartbreak of his masterpiece (The Sweet Hereafter), Egoyan has created a body of work that excites and intrigues as many as it it offends. Among the clean cities, polite citizenry and universal healthcare of Canada, Egoyan and his sexually explicit excoriations of modern media and popular culture must seem--I don't know--a bit out of place, eh?

Chicken Little

Disney's computer-generated cartoon takes acorns and turns them into enjoyable, moderately sized saplings

It's sink or swim time for Disney. After enduring years of declining profits and management shake-ups—not to mention more stock market woes than Martha Stewart—the Mouse Corporation is releasing its first fully computer-generated feature cartoon made without the able assistance of Pixar. Having provided Disney with basically all of its unqualified successes in the last 10 years or so (Toy Story, Monsters Inc., The Incredibles), Pixar is now eager to dump the ungrateful Disney in favor of greener pastures and a bigger share of profits. Which leaves Disney in the unusual position of having to prove itself as an animation studio.

“Truthiness” Be Told

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central

Comedy Central has finally found a perfect companion to its hit series “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” by commissioning a spin-off series for regular contributor Stephen Colbert. The show is styled after personality-driven talking-head TV commentators, pundits like Bill O'Reilly who don't report the news so much as parrot party-line opinions about the news so that like-minded individuals can feel good about themselves by agreeing wholeheartedly.

news

Brewing a Controversy

A New Mexico-based case over whether a religion can legally use a hallucinogenic tea has made its way to the Supreme Court

It all began in 1999, when federal narcotics agents stormed Jeffrey Bronfman's Santa Fe church, confiscating 30 gallons of a psychoactive Brazilian tea he planned to use in religious ceremonies. Now this week, after five years of litigation, the debate over the sacramental brew has reached the nation's highest court.

Albuquerque Journal Plays Matchmaker

Perhaps Albuquerque The Magazine can be forgiven for their ridiculous October feature, “The Second Annual Hot Singles of Albuquerque Issue,” because, while laughable (the expression, ’hot singles,' itself is laughable), the local periodical is a lifestyle magazine. It serves the purpose of indulging readers in this sort of entertainment. So silly questions like, “If your ideal partner were a New Mexican dish, what would she be and why?” and likewise, non sequitur answers such as, “A combination plate, classy in public and adventurous when we're alone” are within the realm of reasonable editorial content.

Mind the Gap

A recent study shows the U.S. gender gap isn't as small as we thought

I was dancing and sipping a caipirinha—you know, that fabulous Brazilian cocktail made with lime and sugar—when Leila nudged me to say that Nilcea Freire, the minister of women for Brazil, appointed by President Lula da Silva, was standing next to us. She wanted to introduce me. “I'd love to!” I shouted over the loud drumming.

Send in the Twins ... and Chelsea, Too

An open letter to Sen. Hillary Clinton

Dear Hillary,

I've been meaning to write to you for some time. I see how you are currently the favorite among Democrats for the party's presidential nomination for 2008. You're already raising money around the country. But before you get to check what Laura Bush has changed while you've been out of the White House, if Gov. Bill Richardson gets an early Western presidential primary, you're going to have to face us lowly New Mexicans sooner rather than later.

So I thought I'd pop my big question now. Why should any Democrat support you as long as you continue to support Bush's war in Iraq?

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Canada—Mr. Floatie, a community activist who dresses in a gigantic feces-shaped costume, has withdrawn his name from the mayor's race in Victoria, British Columbia. James Skwarok, the man inside the costume, told reporters that the city has taken issue with his candidacy because only real people can run for municipal office. “Of course I'm not a real person,” Skwarok said last week. “I'm a big piece of poop.” Skwarok has been appearing in public as Mr. Floatie for some time now in an attempt to raise people's awareness about the pumping of raw sewage into the waters off British Columbia's capital. No word on what Mr. Floatie might do now that his political dreams have been dashed.

music

Music to Your Ears

Rocksquawk: More Rock, Less Walk—The Alibi and Rocksquawk.com will again team up for another blissfully unpretentious night of local music; only this time you can enjoy the onslaught of Rocksquawkin' bands from a single barstool, perfectly contoured to fit the delicate curvature of your rump. On Wednesday, Nov. 23, we'll stuff the Launchpad tighter than a Thanksgiving turkey with live, local music ripped right from the forums of Albuquerque's premier internet music community, Rocksquawk.com. The idea is to throw a Rocksquawk show every month; each will highlight talent from the Albuquerque music scene and Rocksquawk.com, and each will draw audiences to a single venue that will change from show to show. This month it's at the Launchpad. Next month, who knows? Of course, we'll continue to organize the multi-venue Rocksquawk.com Music Showcases once or twice a year; and the Fall and Spring Crawls are as sure as the seasons. This is just another opportunity for local bands to come out and strut their stuff. And admission will be free or cheap so we can get a good audience base for these guys. Unfortunately, the inaugural event will be for 21-and-over audiences only, but I'd like to see some all-ages Rocksquawk.com shows in the near future. We'll see how it goes. See you on Nov. 23!

Bobo Stenson Trio

Swedish pianist/composer Bobo Stenson first came into prominence in the late '60s, accompanying jazz greats Gary Burton, Sonny Rollins and Stan Getz. He soon collaborated with Norwegian saxophonist Jan Garbarek, whose chamber music style of jazz contributed immeasurably to the success of Officium, his chart-topping otherworldly excursion with The Hilliard Ensemble.

The Build

All the rock; none of the groin thrusts

"Having (a singer) would add another interesting element to the group, but not at the expense of having one that sucks." So says Tim Dempsey, guitarist for the all-instrumental indie band The Build, and there are quite a few bands who should listen in.

Flyer on the Wall

Snugfit Social Club returns to the Launchpad at 10 p.m. this Friday, Nov. 11, with a magnificent aural display of electro, new wave and disco. $4 gets you in, but only if you're 21 or older. (LM)

The Planet The

Sunday, Nov. 11; the Launchpad (21-and-over), $4: If helmets are the new mullets, then The Planet The is the new medium in which to spastically dance while sporting one.

art

Culture Shock

What a Drag—Ooo! La! La! Look at all those pretty, pretty ladies. Sinatra-Devine Productions brings their annual Come Out drag queen spectacular to the National Hispanic Cultural Center (1701 Fourth Street SW) this Friday evening, Nov. 4. As in years past, Showgirls ... Out of Exile will pile on the glam in a show sure to entertain the pants right off you. Tickets are $15, $20 and $25. Show starts at 7 p.m. 724-4771.

Be a Man

Four Wheel Drive at the KiMo Theatre

Life was a lot simpler for men 30,000 years ago. Each morning we'd don our bearskin tunics, pick up our clubs and venture out of our caves in a leisurely search for an animal to beat to death for that evening's dinner. If our womenfolk didn't do what we wanted, of course, we'd grunt and pull their hair until they behaved.

Pajama Men

Tricklock Performance Space

It's happy fun sleepy time! The Pajama Men, Mark Chavez and Shenoah Allen, are back in town following a monster tour in which they sold out stadiums from Bangkok to Gary, Indiana. They loved them in Moscow. They loved them in St. Louis. Jump on the bandwagon and come see their latest work of deranged comic brilliance, Stop Not Going. The show, in which the boys play dozens of different characters in the span of roughly 60 minutes, runs Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m. through Nov. 12 at the Tricklock Performance Space. They will make you laugh until you weep; it's their special gift from God. $15 general, $12 students/seniors. The boys will also be doing a Dirty Thursday improv show on Nov. 10 at 9 p.m. that I'm told involves free condoms and a lot of cheap jokes at the expense of yo' mama. This show is a bargain at $8. For more information, call 254-8393.

food

All the News That's Fit to Eat

Chow's Asian Bistro Bellies Up to the Westside—Another sister-restaurant of Chow's Asian Bistro (Santa Fe) and Chow's Chinese Bistro (Northeast Heights) will open its doors in Cottonwood Mall this weekend. That's three locations, three companies, two names and one owner. Confused yet? "It's complicated" says General Manager Jason Zeng. "But all that's just legal stuff. They're basically all part of the same place." Zeng started his career at the restaurant when it first opened 13 years ago in Santa Fe; only then it was called Chow's Contemporary Chinese Food. "We're local, not a corporation. Our highest concentration is on food quality and taste." And Zeng is willing to put his money where his mouth is. Earlier this month, Chow's was voted one of the top 100 Asian restaurants and the No. 1 Asian fusion restaurant in the nation by the National Restaurant Association and the Chinese Restaurant News. That's a big deal.

Lollicup

A shiny, happy tea shop at Ta-Lin

It's shiny, happy teatime for patrons of the Ta-Lin world market. Lollicup, the bright and shopper-friendly café next door, offers a quick retro relaxation stop with a modest menu and a mile-long list of teas, hot or cold, for the most sophisticated sippers.

Alibi V.14 No.43 • Oct 27-Nov 2, 2005

feature

Spooks in the Duke City

Here's a handy guide to some of the most infamous Albuquerque haunts. (Hold my hand. I'm scared!)

Church Street Café, 2111Church NW: Stuff yourself with the homemade chicharrones, then stick around—you may see the ghost of Sara Ruiz. This deceased proprietress was born way back in 1880, and she was known to be a local curandera, or healer. An unconventional woman for her time, she's reported to have spooked out the current owner, Marie Coleman, by screaming at contractors, kicking around equipment and showing up to scare the waitstaff. This is the kind of thing that you don't hear about at the golden arches.

Ghost Tour!

Old Town boasts 300 years of haunted history

In the late 19th century, Lover's Lane, one of Old Town's charming alleyways, was the scene of a gruesome murder committed by the daughter of one of Albuquerque's prominent families, the Armijos. Engaged to a local Romeo, she caught her fiancé there with another lady. Because Lover's Lane was where everyone in town went to smooch, the Armijo lady was more than just heartbroken—she was humiliated. In a rage, she grabbed a hatchet (some think it was a garden hoe, but that isn't as scary) and allegedly dismembered her cheating man. They say the other lady got away.

Horror Dare

Spend the night in a haunted motel room

It was not a dark and stormy night, though Central was shiny and wet from an afternoon shower. The moon was full. I could see its reflection as I drove past watery brown potholes in the road.

The Alibi's Ghost Upstairs

Our janitor describes phantom activities at Alibi headquarters

In the spring of 2003, the Alibi moved from a cramped, dumpy compound in Nob Hill to a sleek and spacious office Downtown. The new building's previous tenant was the law firm Will Ferguson and Associates. We inherited our current cleaning wizard, Jeremiah Mumbower, from Will Ferguson. He's been cleaning the place since 1999.

film

Reel World

Swingin' Cinema—Gorilla Tango Theatre, downtown Albuquerque's hub for all things comic and improvisational, will be hosting a local film festival on Saturday, Nov. 19. Organizers are currently searching for films in any genre, any length. Films must, however, be submitted in one of the following formats: DVD, VHS, SVCD or VCD. Films for the festival will be chosen based on a juried selection. There is a $5 non-refundable submission fee per film. The submission deadline is Thursday, Nov. 10. Don't have a film? Hurry up and make one! There will be cash prizes for the best films as determined by Gorilla Tango's distinguished panel of judges. The cash prize amounts will be based on the number of films entered. So, the more films entered, the greater the potential cash prizes. For more information, e-mail Jason Witter at jason@gorillatango.com. You can also download entry forms at www.gorillatango.com.

The Legend of Zorro

Belated sequel is no Raiders of the Lost Ark, but it knows how to buckle a swash or two

This somewhat belated follow-up to 1998's fun, frivolous The Mask of Zorro finds much of the same cast and crew (stars Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, director Martin Campbell) reunited for more old-fashioned derring-do in the wild, wild West.

Tis the Season for Scary Cinema

A ghostly glimpse at some hot DVD releases for Halloween

The chilly winds and spook-filled atmosphere of Halloween are perfect excuses to curl up on the couch with a sizable pile of horror films. Here are a few recent DVD releases, which may have escaped your attention. These films run the gamut from old-school studio chillers to modern-day J-horror. Each one would make a fine addition to any horror-lover's library, and none of them features Paris Hilton.

Spooks on Screen

Halloween around the dial

Halloween this year happens to fall on a Monday, the scariest day of the week for schoolkids and office workers. Given that the holiday arrives on a weekday, odds are pretty good that you'll have completed all the partying and pumpkin-carving you can handle over the course of the preceding weekend. That leaves you with nothing to do but hand out candy to bemasked beggars and watch TV come Monday.

art

Culture Shock

Durang, Durang—A pair of one-acts penned by Christopher Durang, the master of creepy comedy, is currently playing at the Desert Rose Playhouse (formerly the Glenn Rose Playhouse). "An Actor's Nightmare" and "Dentity Crisis" should help you get your freak on during this Halloween season. Expect tricks and treats. The double bill runs Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m. through Nov. 5. $10 general, $8 students/seniors. 6921-E Montgomery NE. 881-0503.

Other Worlds

The Architect's Brother at the UNM Art Museum

Fantasy isn't necessarily escapist. From Shakespeare to William S. Burroughs, artists throughout the ages have developed elaborate imagined worlds to explore aspects of our real world.

Snake Oil for the Lovelorn

Q-Staff Theatre

The talented weirdoes over at Q-Staff are reviving their extraordinary musical-theatrical creation Snake Oil for the Lovelorn starting this weekend. If you didn't catch it the first time around, you really should check this out. The show is running Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m. $12 general, $9 students/seniors. Sunday performances are at 7 p.m. and are pay-what-you-can shows. Q-Staff is capping off the run with an intriguing open workshop on Sunday, Nov. 13, that will allow the curious to gain some insight into the groups, er, unconventional creative methods. 255-2182.

Rumba, Samba and Mambo!

Earthly Finds Gallery

Fifteen paintings by Tom Tyler go on display starting this weekend at Earthly Finds (400 Central SE, Suite 106). Tyler's expressionistic, colorful work is inspired by his affection for the land of Cuba, dancing and musical performance. Rumba, Samba and Mambo! will mark the gallery's first major exhibit since opening its new digs last March. The show opens Thursday, Oct. 27, with a reception from 6 to 10 p.m. Runs through Dec. 15. 243-9968.

Bust a Ghost

An Interview with Cody Polston

You could be forgiven for expecting the president and founder of the Southwest Ghost Hunters Association to be, um—how should I put this?—a bit of a weirdo. When I tracked down Cody Polston, I certainly expected to be crossing the border into Kooksville. Happily, this didn't turn out to be the case. During our brief telephone conversation, Polston came across as a fairly down-to-earth fellow.

Spooky Book Sampler

From the collection of Devin D. O'Leary

It's not all that surprising that the Alibi's illustrious film editor possesses several tomes dedicated to New Mexico's dark spiritual forces. After all, O'Leary's entire wardrobe is black. Likewise, everyone thinks he's so pale because he spends the daylight hours watching movies in dark movie theaters, but there could be other explanations. I've heard rumors that he sleeps in a coffin; that he owns a 12-foot boa constrictor named Carl; that he was born and raised in a remote castle in Ireland. Makes you wonder. Anyway, Devin was kind enough to supply me with a few of the more intriguing titles from his collection. Here's a quick run-down.

news

Clogged Arteries

The mayor plans to re-stripe Montaño to four lanes, but some say the project could do more harm than good

There may not be a single road in Albuquerque that has been more controversial than Montaño. Be it neighborhood angst over the laying down of the very road itself and the construction of Montaño Bridge, or protesters lying in the dirt to keep bulldozers at bay when a developer came to build Universe Boulevard, every time the city announces plans to change the corridor in some way, neighborhood residents and historic-preservation groups have been there to oppose it. Now, it seems as though Montaño, that road with a knack for stirring up trouble, is at it again. Only this time, it's getting folks all riled up over a brand new paint job.

Pops and Corps

On Oct. 17, subdued councilors met after the recent, balance-shifting municipal election. Not that party labels have meant much recently, with a Democratic mayor depending on Republicans for automatic support. Maybe more appropriate, if oversimplified, categories would be “Corporatists” versus “Populists.” The Alibi waits with great interest to see whether the city will now get more Pop grassroots or more Corp trickledown.

Bad Law Just Got Worse

Bush's new Medicare bill could lead to further cutbacks for the poor

It doesn't seem possible, but the Bush Administration has just managed to mess up what was just about the only positive aspect of the new Medicare Prescription bill. Now it has absolutely no redeeming qualities.

Poquito Ojito

Batter-up in the World Series of wilderness

The last time we succeeded in setting aside a few acres of our state's disappearing wilderness, we had a president who joked that trees cause pollution. So here's great news: Congress has passed the Ojito Wilderness Act, the first New Mexico wilderness legislation since 1986.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Belgium—If you are in Belgium, whatever you do, don't take a leek. Belgian police warned thieves last Saturday not to use any of the 500 pounds worth of leeks stolen from a vegetable farm in the West Flanders town of Izegem. Leeks are the primary ingredient in Vichyssoise soup, but police say the recently purloined vegetables should have stayed in the ground another six weeks to be safe after treatment with toxic pesticides. According to the Belga news agency, consumers have been warned not to eat any leeks with a “strange smell.”

music

Music to Your Ears

Oh, JIT—After a successful summer-long trial program (which, we'll remind you, the Alibi helped launch during this April's Spring Crawl), the Downtown Action Team has finally launched a regular late-night shuttle service for patrons of Downtown's many bars and music venues. It's called "The Downtown Shuttle" or "JIT," and it runs every Friday and Saturday night from 11 p.m. to 2 a.m. You'll be able to buy the $5 bus passes through participating venues Downtown, or directly at the shuttle location on Fourth Street and Central. Service extends to "anywhere in town." Ok, so what's a "JIT?" According to my press release, it's short for "jitney"—basically a small bus that carries passengers for a low fare. The release also suggests it's an acronym for "Just In Time." Whatever. Just stop drinking and driving, for chrissake.

Flyer on the Wall

Sunday, Oct. 30, at Warehouse 21 in Santa Fe (1614 Paseo de Peralta). Galapagos 4 presents the Dark Day Tour featuring Qwel of Typical Cats and the Stick Figures (Robust and Prolyphic). Local hip-hop act Fantazma de los Zorros opens. All-ages! $8! Proceeds will help build a new home for Warehouse 21, Santa Fe's only all-ages nonprofit show space. (LM)

Ollabelle

Ollabelle didn't get born out of a tiny rural church in the South. It's not a family band that's carried on through generations. This might not seem particularly unusual, except Ollabelle is a gospel group.

The Soviettes

with Against Me!, The Epoxies and Smoke or Fire

Wednesday, Nov. 2, doors open at 7 p.m., $12; Launchpad (All-ages!): Boo-ya! We've recently seen Against Me! and The Epoxies here in Albuquerque, but have we seen The Soviettes? No! Will we be able to see them on Wednesday as part of Fat Wreck Chords' Fat Tour 2005? Yes! Can I get an “up yours?” Huh ... ? Anyway, those who want to feel pop-punk and new-wave (punk-wave) in all of its unmitigated grandeur should show up to the Launchpad early tonight to catch the multi-gender four-piece (as they advise, "avoid being a douche;" there are three members sans male sex organ, one avec). But moving on to more important information, The Soviettes are pretty much from Minneapolis, are not commies and have released three bodacioutastic albums entitled LP I, LP II and LP III. On those albums they concoct a delectable combo of tough sentimentality, pogo songs and party anthems. I predict that the live Soviettes will rattle your bones and stir the blood, providing the warmth needed to survive in the coming months.

Invisible

with Feels Like Sunday and Unit 7 Drain

Friday, Oct. 28, 10 p.m.; Atomic Cantina (21-and-over): As if a free performance from the Portland band wasn't enough, that's only half of it; video projections come standard with Invisible. And if you've seen any musical performance with projections you might know that can improve the sound and subsequent enjoyment immensely. The music may even be terrible; a small problem easily overlooked when you are mesmerized by light and moving pictures. Fortunately, without that assistance, Invisible is a pretty solid operation. Manipulating a variety of musical tools--strings, synthesizers, piano, xylophone and a variety of percussion, not to mention guitars which go from lazy to wail—the three-piece creates a living, breathing, moving soundscape. The projections incorporate the new and old: black and white video taken from cars, planes and elsewhere combined with CGI cities and rockets, some turned upside down with different images divided into symmetrical events on different panels. Both the sound and image give the distinct feel of movement, impermanence and complete modernism.

Potty Mouth Sherry's CD Release Party

Pleasing crowds and pissing off jerk-neighbors

The Potty Mouth Sherry's take pride in being one of the very few all-female bands in Albuquerque. Their songs contain references to serious political issues and they are not shy about lambasting our nation's leader. Above all, however, they remain resolute and determined to be one of the silliest punk foursomes in existence.

food

All the News that's Fit to Eat

Haunted Hob Nobbing in Nob Hill—Unless you're the kind of person who enjoys sticking razor blades in apples, you'll be happy know that the businesses in Nob Hill have some awesome treats planned for us this Halloween. This Monday evening, Nob Hill will transform itself into "Haunted Hill"—a music-and-candy-crawl for adults, stretched between every bar and restaurant in the area (between Carlisle and Girard, along Central). Starting at 9 p.m., costumed Nob crawlers will be able to drift into each place free of charge, gobbling candy, downing drink and food specials and soaking up a nice variety of live music. Peter Martin, entertainment director at Sig's on Central, helped whip up the whole mysterious and spooky idea.

California Witches

Brewing up boba tea and caldrons of curry

Contrary to popular belief, California Witches is not a coven of suntanned, avocado-lovin' ladies of the darkness, but a trendy new Asian-fusion café in a busy strip mall on Menaul. And despite what the name and logo implies, there were no warty noses or pointy hats to be seen, only a serene ambiance with bonfire-hot curry.

Party with the Dead

An ofrenda feast for Dia de los Muertos

The first thing that hits you is the aroma, then the warmth of the ovens. The air inside the Golden Crown Panaderia is soft and heavy with the scents of whole, fresh anise, cinnamon, sugar, yeast and fresh bread. Behind the counter, father and son bakers Pratt and Chris Morales are busy filling orders for Dia de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead. The celebration of departed friends and family spans the first two days of November; and, as the Morales men will tell you, it takes a lot of bread to feed all those hungry souls. "Bread is the stuff of life—it's universal, and something you share," says Pratt. "For Dia de los Muertos, we welcome back the departed souls we knew, and we honor them with altars decorated with things like flowers, candy, cut paper and their favorite foods." The breads for this ofrenda (offering) were baked by the Golden Crown Panaderia (1103 Mountain NW, 243-2424). Masks Y Mas in Nob Hill (3106 Central SE, 256-4183) provided the beautiful decorations, candleholders and service ware.

Alibi V.14 No.42 • Oct 20-26, 2005

feature

Recasting New Mexico History

It's been more than four centuries since Don Juan de Oñate led the first group of Spanish colonists into New Mexico, but the new monument commemorating the Spanish settlement has a history all its own.

Throughout New Mexico's proud but troubled history, Don Juan de Oñate has remained a divisive figure. Oñate brought Spanish culture to the region in 1598 when he led the first Spanish settlers to New Mexico and established the first capital. Yet by 1608 the Spanish Crown had removed Oñate from his position as governor and sent him back to Mexico City where he was tried for mistreating Pueblo Indians and abusing his power.

film

Reel World

Writing for Reality—The New Mexico Screenwriter's Speaker Series returns with a Saturday morning seminar titled “Writing Commercial Documentaries Now.” Discover your own inner March of the Penguins with noted documentary filmmaker Craig Coffman. Since 1997, Coffman has produced over 60 hours of documentary programs as a supervising producer, writer, editor or director for The History Channel, Discovery, Food Network, Fine Living, TLC and others. Coffman's seminar will center on what kind of writing is going on in the projects now airing on and sought by cable networks. The event will take place at Rio Grande Studios (6608 Gulton NE), from 9:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. on Saturday, Oct. 22. Admission is $15, which includes refreshments and handouts. Full-time student and teacher rate is $10. For more information on the Screenwriter's Speaker Series, log on to www.nmscreenwriters.com.

Film Preview

Unseen Cinema: Early American Avant-Garde Film 1894-1941

Unseen Cinema: Early American Avant-Garde Film represents an epic collaboration between the Anthology Film Archive and Deutsches Filmmuseum. Curated by Bruce Posner and produced by film historian David Shepard, Unseen Cinema compiles more than 150 short works from the formative days of film. Beginning before the turn of the 20th century and stretching to the start of World War II, this collection of little-seen works represents not merely some of the earliest cinematic efforts, but some of the most groundbreaking.

North Country

Rough rural drama looks for the good in human beings

Following foursquare in the footsteps of Norma Rae, Silkwood and Erin Brockovich, North Country introduces us to real-life female crusader Josey Aimes (well, in real life, her name was Lois Jensen, but I guess that's a minor point). Directed by New Zealander Niki Caro (Whale Rider) and starring Oscar babe Charlize Theron (Monster), North Country is a dirt-streaked David and Goliath tale about the first class-action sexual harassment lawsuit ever filed in America.

Festival Preview

TromaDance New Mexico 2005

For the second year in a row, Albuquerque's only cult/alternative/trash video store, Burning Paradise, has teamed up with the maniacs at Troma Entertainment to bring TromaDance New Mexico to Albuquerque.

Partly Cloudy With a Chance of Aliens

“Invasion” on ABC

In this season's troika of “aliens and oceans” TV shows, ABC's “Invasion” seems to be pulling ahead of CBS' “Threshold” and NBC's “Surface.” “Threshold” has pushed past its “finding a UFO at the bottom of the ocean” pilot, but hasn't gotten any better for it. “Surface,” meanwhile, remains mired in its E.T.-as-Jaws premise. “Invasion,” on the other hand, has succeeded, thanks to some atmospheric writing and some solid casting.

music

Music to Your Ears

Crawl Love—Despite the rain—or perhaps because of it—this weekend's Fall Crawl was the most enjoyable that I've ever attended. Central was alive with Crawlers without being uncomfortably overcrowded, and bands still got to play to packed houses. Likewise, the ratio of local to national acts was right-on for my tastes. I'll admit that there were even a few locals that I had never heard before. (I'm talking to you, Cherry Tempo—and I'll see you in November.) At the end of the night the streets weren't asphyxiated with vomit. No, just horse shit from our peace-keeping mounted Albuquerque police units. Thanks, guys! I'm aware that you've probably got your own opinion on how it all went down, and I encourage you to share your experience with us while it's still fresh on your mind. You can do this a few ways: Write a letter to the editor (e-mail letters@alibi.com), call me personally (346-0660, ext. 260) or rant about it on www.rocksquawk.com. Every bit of information is useful to us as we begin thinking about the next Crawl, six months from now in the Spring. What did you enjoy? What kinks could stand to be ironed out? Tell us all about it. And pray for rain.

Widespread Panic

Sarah Bonneau

Tuesday, Oct. 25; Kiva Auditorium (All-ages), 7 p.m.: Widespread Panic is one of the most successful touring bands today, but most people have never heard them on the radio. Without television exposure, radio airplay or promotion in record stores, Widespread Panic has sold out shows for more than 18 years, making them one of the top 50 grossing touring acts in the nation. If you've never seen them, here's your chance.

Vulgar curiosity: mewithoutYou

Or, I'm cuckoo for mewithoutYou

MewithoutYou is one of my favorite new-ish bands (they released their first album in 2002) because they seem to kindle the energy of heavier indie rock of the '90s, what with the distortion and yelling, but at the same time add delicate, well-devised lyrics and inventive sound-structures. I tried to speak with guitarist Michael Weiss over the phone last week as the band drove through Oregon, but the ill-fated conversation got cut off three times before my tape recorder ran out of batteries. What was left out involved a high school production of Fame, Danzig and me watching the "January 1979" video 100 times over the summer. Here's what we salvaged:

Ramblin' Jack Elliott

"One of the few authentic voices in folk music."

Born in Brooklyn, Ramblin' Jack Elliot began to cultivate his cowboy image when he ran away from home at 15 and joined the rodeo. He learned to play the guitar and was recording by the early '50s. He traveled and lived with Woodie Guthrie, and through him, met Bob Dylan, later playing in his band. He's also toured with Pete Seeger and worked with other American folk greats like "Utah" Phillips, Emmylou Harris and Tom Waits, to name a few. Still, Ramblin' Jack goes mostly unrecognized for his contribution to American folk music. Most recently, he was left out of Martin Scorcese's chronologically confusing documentary “Bob Dylan: No Direction Home," although he was a key figure in the '60s folk explosion which spawned Dylan. Ramblin' Jack is, however, in Bob Dylan's Chronicles: Vol. 1, on pages 245 to 255 (that's according to Jack's tour manager).

Flyer on the Wall

The writing on the side says, "The Unholy Ghost of Jesus commands you to come and rock." Obey! The show is with Caustic Lye, Kronow and Lower Than Dirt this Saturday, Oct. 22, at Atomic Cantina. Always free, always 21-and-over, usually evil. (LM)

Sonic Reducer

As you struggle up through sleep, out of a sad dream you can't remember, you might hear the static-muffled sounds of "Forever," the first track on the debut of The Very Hush Hush. The melodious delirium continues, but the pace increases as drum(s)/machines kick in and distorted vocals urgently begin telling you something just beyond your grasp. Created by two classically trained pianists living in a haunted house, the album is spookily familiar ... a good thing. Put some albums by The Faint and Sigúr Rós in the blender and listen as you fall asleep. It'd sound like this.

news

Covering Our Tracks

A recent lawsuit asks how much radioactive waste should legally be allowed to remain over Albuquerque's aquifer

Out over the East Mesa, sitting 460 feet above the city's sole groundwater supply, five miles southeast of the Albuquerque International Sunport and just a mile east of Mesa del Sol, a large-scale residential development that will soon be popping up over the horizon, lies a piece of land with a troubling history.

Nothing You Should Pay Attention To

I know. It seems like we rip on the Albuquerque Journal a lot here in Alibi-land. We do. And most of the time it's deserved. But this week, although our beloved daily is still hovering high on our shit list, our beef goes beyond the local media. It goes all the way to the top. Get ready for a mainstream media rant (MSM ... different from MSG but probably just as bad for your brain); but this time, find a safe place in a doorway somewhere ... we're talkin' earthquakes.

Hell on Wheels

The Duke City Derby rolls into town

Finally, the Midnight Rodeo is home to more than just cheap drinks and tipsy rancheros itchin' to break in their new Wranglers. As of October, the club opened its doors—and floors—to Duke City Derby (DCD), Albuquerque's first and only all-girl roller derby league.

Cashing Out the Windfall

The special session wraps up with a tidy sum slated for New Mexico's pockets

There was an aura of unreality to the entire special session of the Legislature which concluded last week. Pulling legislators back to Santa Fe for an upcoming emergency, just three months before they'd have to come to town for the regular session anyhow, was a stretch of imagination that many people never could manage.

Democrats for Life

A new voice in the abortion debate

If you listen to the abortion debate long enough, you'll hear pro-lifers accuse opponents of being “pro-abortion.” The pro-choice side bristles, “We're not pro-abortion; we merely want abortion to be safe, legal and rare.” Then they resume screaming at each other.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Germany—Bulgarian Tihomir Titschko became the first European chess-boxing champion last week in Berlin. Chess boxing is described as the newest and most unlikely of “hybrid sports,” designed to test both brains and brawn. A typical match consists of up to 11 alternating rounds of boxing and “blitz” chess sessions. Boxing rounds last two minutes each, while the “blitz” chess style allows competitors 12 minutes on the clock before the match is over. The World Chess Boxing Organization, which trains several dozen boxers twice a week near its headquarters in Berlin, says combining the “No. 1 intellectual sport” with the “No. 1 fighting sport” offers a unique challenge. Although a chess-boxing contest can end with a knockout, the final match between Tihomir Titschko and Andreas Schneider, of Germany, ended with Scheider's concession. Schneider kept pace with Titschko into the seventh round, but his 12 minutes of chess time had nearly elapsed and his king and remaining pawns were in retreat. Chess boxing is the brainchild of Iepe Rubingh, 31, a Dutch artist who lives in Germany.

art

Culture Shock

Rock, Roll and Write—The idea behind the First Fiction Tour is to bring a little rock and roll glam to a staged literary event. Think of it as Lollapalooza for the writerly crowd. The 2005 version of the tour comes to the St. Clair Winery & Bistro (901 Rio Grande NW) this Wednesday, Oct. 26, at 8 p.m. It features three first-time authors, all of whom have a flair for live performance. Lisa Selin Davis is the author of Belly, a novel about an ex-con druggie gambler named William "Belly" O'Leary. Karen Olsson is the author of Waterloo, which tells the tale of a thirtysomething guy who's trying to make sense of a screwed up love life in Austin, Texas. Finally, Victoria Vinton is the author of The Jungle Law, a fictionalized account of Rudyard Kipling's life after he moved to Vermont in 1892. Numerous food and drink specials will be available, so come on down, stuff yourself, get a good buzz going and give a listen to the future of American literature. For more information, call 344-8139.

Murder by Song

No Way to Treat a Lady at the Adobe Theater

It's hard to resist a singing killer. The spectacle of someone strangling another person while belting out a catchy tune is something almost anyone can enjoy.

food

All the News that's Fit to Eat

Gruet at the Grille—Gruet Steakhouse and Wine Bar is just nine months old, but the success of the upscale steakhouse has prompted business partners Frank Marcello, Laurent Gruet and Farid Himeur to expand the Gruet brand to yet another restaurant. The Gruet Grille opened a few days ago in the old Café Bodega building (4243 Montgomery NE), which now boasts an oyster bar and several other renovations. The bistro-style menu pairs fresh fish and high-end comfort foods with an extensive collection of wines. For the time being, lunch is available from 11 a.m. until 2 p.m., with dinner service from 5 to 10 p.m. Call 888-7004 for reservations—and let us know what you think!

Johnny Orr

An interview with the Chef/Owner of the Relish sandwich shops

Johnny Orr has been turning people on to gourmet sandwiches, salads and cheeses for well over a year at his casual, yet sophisticated, little sandwich shop in the Northeast Heights. Now, after months of careful preparation, Relish is finally (finally!) open for business at its second location in downtown Albuquerque. I took Chef/Owner Johnny out for a celebratory after-work drink at the Anodyne and made him talk to me about food. He eventually got wise that the small mechanical device on the bar was not a cell phone, but, in fact, a micro-cassette recorder. He was being interviewed.

Howley's Place: An American Bistro

"Get ripped" with Tia and Bill

Hot dogs could be the new California Rolls. And chef extraordinaire Bill Howley of the newly-revamped Howley's Place can cook a lean, mean, old-school dog so good that Chicago itself should take note. His lovely wife and co-owner Tia is a superb sommelier with a smile for every diner at no extra charge.