Alibi V.14 No.48 • Dec 1-7, 2005

Alibi Kink Events Presents

Carnal Carnevale tickets still on sale

Step outside of the mundane and step into the Carnal Carnevale, an “adults-only” party brought to you by Alibi Fetish Events. Albuquerque, reward yourself for making it through the holiday season with tickets to the Carnal Carnevale; and if you act now, you can stuff those stockings with tickets at at discounted rate. You have until midnight, on Sunday, Dec. 17 to purchase tickets for the still-discounted price of $55. Prices go up after that, and no tickets will be available for purchase at the door. The location of this kink-and-cocktail-filled voyeur’s delight remains top secret, and will only be revealed only to our lucky few ticket holders.

feature

Alibi Trivia Challenge

Hey, egghead, have we got a treat for you. If you can complete these 20 questions correctly and turn them in sooner than anyone else along with a completed angry monkey puzzle (see facing page), you will be rewarded with a jaw-dropping jackpot of fabulous prizes, including a $15 gift certificate to Bookworks, a "mystery" gift certificate to Mecca Records, a whopping $100 gift certificate to the District, a box of Belgian chocolates from Wild Oats, an Alibi T-shirt, and last but certainly not least, an official Alibi flyswatter that will make you the envy of all your fellow eggheads.

Are You a Unicorn?

Is your name Linthor, the High Unicorn of the Known Seven Realms of Strandall?

Is there only one of you?

Are you a horse, but gay?

Are you pure and good?

Do you have a mane of snowy white with lavender highlights?

Are You a Loser?

Yes! But maybe no.

Do you game?

If you do game, do you have a Level 60 Night Elf Mage?

Are sweats your "uniform”?

Do you juggle or practice magic?

Do you Do the Dew?

Do you believe in fairies or unicorns?

Do you answer to a self-given nickname like Vinnie the Torch?

Are You Going to Hell?

The entire staff of the Alibi took the following quiz, and to our dismay the answer is yes—yes, we are all going to hell. I, for one, don't care. It's going to be a party down there complete with delicious pelican meat.

What Brand of Dud is Your Stud?

Choose the answer that most closely applies to your guy.

1. You met him _______.
a.) in your dreams
b.) while on a bender
c.) on a dark and stormy night

2. When you go out on dates _______.
a.) his teeth sparkle and his ponytail gleams
b.) it's always slightly uncomfortable
c.) chicken fries are usually involved

3. He spends his free time _______.
a.) getting kittens out of trees
b.) working on his look
c.) kicking around the hack

4. Bedtime is the right time for _______.
a.) magic and tenderness
b.) moderate satisfaction
c.) reluctance

5. If he were an art movement he'd be ______.
a.) neoclassical; noble and tasteful
b.) impressionism; widely reproduced
c.) claymation; not even an art movement

6. His main form of transportation is ______.
a.) his pet pegasus
b.) a dune buggy
c.) your car

7. If he were an animal he'd be ______.
a.) a ferocious lion with a heart of gold
b.) a kitty cat
c.) dead, inedible chicken fries

8. His future plans include ______.
a.) mastering human flight
b.) rocking
c.) Steel Reserve

9. He plans to accrue wealth through ______.
a.) his breakthrough concepts on human existence
b.) rocking
c.) winning big on scratchers

10. Your relationship will be history when ______.
a.) he meets the long sleep of death
b.) like clear Pepsi, his charms fizzle out
c.) a blonde stripper named Krystal comes into the picture

film

Reel World

Ski Lift Cinema—If you're a hardcore, mountain-thrashing, extreme winter sports enthusiast, then the name Warren Miller should ring a few bells. This weekend, Jeep and REI Sports will present Warren Miller's latest ski/snowboard opus Higher Ground. The documentary will play Friday and Saturday, Dec. 2 and 3, at the KiMo Theater. Show starts at 7 p.m. both nights. There will be displays in the KiMo lobby from regional ski areas just to whet your appetite. Tickets are $10 and are available at Ticketmaster, the KiMo box office and REI.

The Squid and the Whale

Bittersweet divorce drama leavens personal tragedy with private humor

According to statistics, roughly half of all modern marriages end in divorce. It would seem, then, that there are a lot of people wandering this Earth who can sympathize with a film that explores the repercussions of divorce. More, I would guess, than can sympathize with a movie about futuristic Marines battling demonic mutants on the surface of Mars.

VideoNasty

Terror Beneath The Sea (1966)

I definitely have a warm place in my heart for old-school Japanese-American film collaborations. The Manster? Pure genius. Green Slime? Now that's quality entertainment. So when you throw mutant gill-men, secret agent-style hijinks and freakin' Sonny Chiba into that mix, well, now you're speaking my language. That's exactly what we get in the officially-released-for-the-first-time-ever Terror Beneath The Sea. And to top it all off, it was directed by none other than Hajime Sato, the same twisted bastard who brought us the acid-trip on celluloid known as Goke, Body Snatcher From Hell. (Loyal Alibi Midnight Movie Madness patrons are still recovering from that bad boy!)

“ET” Go Home

“Entertainment Tonight” in syndication

Sometimes it's just time to bow out gracefully, to exit the stage with a bit of your dignity left. Johnny Carson retired just as his punchlines were teetering on the edge of self-parody. Jerry Seinfeld cut and run while his eponymous sitcom was at the top of the ratings heap. Hell, even “Star Trek: The Next Generation” warped out on a high note.

art

Culture Shock

Art 'Round Every Corner—It's an especially groovy weekend for new exhibits here in Albuquerque. First off, over at Sol Arts (712 Central SE), there'll be a special comics extravaganza on Saturday, Dec. 3, to benefit Sweet Seven Thousands Baaad Assss Comics, a collective of Northern New Mexico writers and artists all of whom are interested in promoting the medium of comics. The event runs from noon to 6 p.m. For a mere $5, you'll get a full afternoon of entertainment including everything from music, poetry, film, video and caricatures to haircuts by the Blue Monkey School of Cosmetology. (I'm not sure what that's about.) For details, call 244-0049.

The Many Faces of Zapata

¡Zapata Vive! at the Jonson Gallery

In 1919, Emiliano Zapata—horse trainer, sharecropper and leader of the Liberation Army of the South—fell into a trap and was killed by Mexican troops. The only photographs taken of Zapata without his permission were of his dead body, dumped on the street by Venustiano Carranza's constitutionalists. Overnight, he became a martyr. Nearly a century later, images of Zapata are still used in art and political propaganda, often as a revolutionary symbol of the rights of the poor and voiceless.

First Friday Artscrawl

All Over Albuquerque

Galleries across the entire city open their doors to the public this Friday evening for a citywide Artscrawl gallery tour. As always, this presents a fine opportunity to catch a bunch of smokin' hot new exhibits in a single evening while mingling with artists and gobbling a few snackedy-snacks while you're at it. Put on that top hat and tails, and hit the town. The tour runs from 5 to 9 p.m. For the full roster of participating galleries, call 244-0362 or go to artscrawlabq.org.

Love & Beauty

Tricklock Performance Space

The new production opening this weekend at the Tricklock Performance Space will provide audiences with a rare chance to see Shenoah Allen and Mark Chavez clothed in something other than pajamas. The comedy duo known as The Pajama Men have teamed up for a different kind of project in Love & Beauty, "a comic massacre" that evolved out of a Tricklock show from a couple years ago called Dandelion Clockwork. You will laugh. You will wince. You will wish you'd worn a plastic raincoat to protect your clothes from a rainstorm of blood and gore. Thursday through Saturday at 8 p.m. Sunday at 6 p.m. $15 general, $12 students/seniors. Thursday, Dec. 1, is a student rush performance. (Tickets are $8 with valid ID.) Friday, Dec. 2, is the catered opening night gala. (Eats and treats at 8 p.m. Curtain at 9 p.m. All tickets $20.) 254-8393.

news

You Gonna Drink That?

A recent report shows that the Rio Grande is dirtier than we thought

The main physical circumstances of the Rio Grande seem timeless and impersonal. They assume meaning only in terms of people who came to the river.

What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been

Council president Brad Winter began the Nov. 21 meeting by presenting engraved Nambé ware platters to departing councilors Miguel Gómez and Tina Cummins. Cummins, who said she would be seeing the other councilors often but wouldn't miss council meetings, left shortly after.

Dump the WMDs

The City Council will soon debate Albuquerque's nuclear weapons

You can bet that the pamphlets and the website information circulated by the Albuquerque Chamber of Commerce to prospective residents or business people interested in relocating here don't mention our weapons of mass destruction.

Rosa Rocks

Three things you can do to continue the legacy of a civil rights icon

Sitting on the red cushioned bench, the sound of all the people singing filled the room like a thick, warm blanket. At that moment there was nowhere else I would have wanted to be—I was in a perfect state of comfort. The keyboards and the drums accompanied the voices belting out lyrics like, “Lord, do it for me right now.”

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Scotland—A real estate developer in central Scotland has had to scrap plans for a new housing development thanks to an alleged colony of fairies. Marcus Salter, head of Genesis Properties, says that a small group of villagers in St. Fillans, Perthshire, has protested his development plans, saying they would “harm the fairies.” Troubles began when Salter's company sent a bulldozer crew to begin work on the site just outside the village, overlooking the eastern shore of Loch Earn. Salter told The Times, “A neighbor came over shouting, ’Don't move that rock. You'll kill the fairies.'” Genesis Properties later received a series of phone calls saying their work was disturbing the local fairies. Salter tried to appease the locals by working around the disputed rock, upon which many locals believe ancient Pictish kings were crowned, but villagers continued to complain that the fairies would be “upset” by the work. “I went to a meeting of the community council and the concerns cropped up there,” Salter told reporters. The council was even considering lodging a complaint with the planning authority, likely to be the kiss of death for a housing development in a national park. “I do believe in fairies, but I can't be sure they live under that rock,” Council Chairman Jeannie Fox told The Times. Nonetheless, Fox believes the stone should remain unmolested. “There are a lot of superstitions going about up here and people do believe that things like standing stones and large rocks should never be moved.” Salter's new plans are to center the estate around a small park, in the middle of which will stand the disputed rock. He estimates that the fairy dispute has cost him some $30,000.

music

Music to Your Ears

The One Question IQ Test—What's the best album of all time, in five words or less? If you can answer this deceptively simple query correctly, you'll prove yourself to be the total musical genius you always thought you were. And if you reveal the identities of this week's three Sonic Reducer "Mystery Albums" (answers must include the artist's name, album title and record company of each), as well as the answer to our Flyer on the Wall Brain Tickler, you can also win an Alibi local music starter kit. That includes every album ever released by Socyermom Records (in the neighborhood of 15 albums, including the new Rock Outside The Box Vol. 2, and the much-coveted Ouch! compilation), three Detach Records releases, a Romeo Goes To Hell shirt and 25 local band buttons from rockstar clothiers I Heart Machine. We'll even throw in two tickets to Hella, a cool/weird electronic band off the Kill Rockstars label, who'll perform at the Launchpad on Thursday, Dec. 15. The first to e-mail the correct batch of answers (again: One Question IQ Test, Sonic Reducer Mystery Albums and the Flyer on the Wall Brain Tickler) to lauram@alibi.com wins the booty. Which is not as sweet as my booty, but it's still pretty fantastic.

Jetpack Rental

The many musical chairs of Burque's most exciting new jazz troupe

If you really want to understand what it's like talking with the members of Jetpack Rental, just find the nearest 10 year old and give him a Red Bull, a candy bar and a twisted appreciation for music that borders on insanity.

The Eyeliners Come Home for the Holidays

Burque's original sisters of rock play their first hometown show in two years

Laura, Lisa and Gel are so goddamned cool. Which, according to the laws of physics, should make them catty and sarcastic, but they're not. The Eyeliners are sweet as sugar pie. They're also talented, road-scarred workaholics and their band, The Eyeliners, is a cornerstone in Albuquerque's hard-won legacy of great local rock and roll. I caught up with Gel, guitarist of the Eyeliners sisters, as they passed through Soccoro this summer on the Warped Tour. You can check them out right here in Burque, though, as The Eyeliners headline an all-ages show at the Launchpad on Friday, Dec. 2. They'll play with Stabbed in Back, The Visects and The Rumfits. Doors open at 8 p.m. A donation of nonperishable food items gets you in. Merry Xmas, boys and girls.

Seis Pistos

with Sleestaks, Mrs. Garrett and Deveat

Saturday, Dec. 3; Atomic Cantina (21-and-over), free: Seis Pistos are from Chihuahua, Mexico, where the locals' overwhelming musical preference lies in traditional ranchero songs and cumbias. But, given the increasingly borderless global society we all inhabit, that's starting to change: A performance at a 2004 Toronto music conference drove the point home when these Latin-alternative punks earned a near-perfect score of 99 out of 100. Ay-yay-yay!

Flyer on the Wall

I paid a visit to DJ Wataso while he was getting ready for his upcoming birthday show with CrazyFool and Felonious Groove Foundation at the District on Friday, Dec. 2. "How many people live in this tiny, one bedroom apartment?" I wondered aloud. "Three," he replied, not even looking up from his turntables. "How old are you all?" I asked, looking around his sloppy digs. "Come Friday, the product of our ages will be 225, while the sum is the same as the apartment number we're in, which is 31," he replied. "Well, are you the oldest?" I asked. "Why yes, I am," he responded. So, how old will DJ Wataso turn this Friday? (LM)

food

All the News That's Fit to Eat

Ninja Sushi is Under New Management—Yun-Hee Kirson recently took over the Japanese restaurant that sits on the Northeast corner of San Pedro and Montgomery, while her brother, James Oh, is stepping up behind the line. Yun-Hee says James, a former Samurai Grill sushi chef, has a wonderful repertoire of new and traditional sushi creations to offer the restaurant. The pair plan to change the name of the restaurant to Midori—the Japanese word for "green," and a popular woman's name in Japan. Ninja Sushi is closed Sunday mornings and Mondays, and open for lunch on weekdays from 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Dinner is served from 5 to 9:30 p.m. on weekdays, or until 10 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays. Call 830-2507 to your order in.

Match the Cheap-Ass Beer with Its Slogan

Are you a bonafide gastronomical sleuth? Test your noodle with these food-based brainteasers and find out! Answer the trivia questions on the first page of the Food Section, then match each down-market beer with its corresponding slogan on this page. Mail both sets of answers to “Food Quiz” at 2118 Central SE PMB 151, Albuquerque, N.M., 87106. The first person to correctly answer the trivia and match the beer will win a fabulous pile of prizes, including two $25 Wild Oats gift certificates (a combined value of $50), a box of Wild Oats brand natural Belgian Chocolates and a FirmGrip Straight Peeler by Edge Resources.

What's Your Food IQ?

1. What is the name of the reaction that causes onions to change colors when cooked and turns the natural sulfurs into sugars?
A. The Pavlov reaction
B. The Maillard reaction
C. The Brown reaction
D. The Anthocyanin reaction

2. The flavor of mushrooms is caused by this naturally-occurring acid:
A. sulfuric acid
B. salicylic acid
C. glutamic acid
D. lysergic acid

3. Green spots on potatoes are caused by overexposure to which element?
A. heat
B. air
C. cold
D. light

4. What percentage of beef cows in the United States are given growth hormones?
A. 40 percent
B. 50 percent
C. 70 percent
D. 90 percent

5. In what year were potato chips invented?
A. 1853
B. 1872
C. 1904
D. 1927

Hannah and Nate's Home Décor and Market Café

The folksy charm of a day on the farm

Where in this city can you find handmade local crafts and a hot, juicy steak sandwich in the same place? Hannah and Nate's is a Westside one-stop shop for both farm-cottage décor and killer sandwiches and salads. And if you catch her at the right moment, Megan the server will sing for your entertainment.

Alibi V.14 No.47 • Nov 24-30, 2005

feature

The City Renewable

Albuquerque has the potential to lead the way in renewable energy—so what are we doing to make it a reality?

If the city's politicians can turn policy into reality, Albuquerque could someday be The City Renewable.

Bill Comes Clean

What the governor is doing for renewable energy

In the past few years, Gov. Bill Richardson has repeatedly been quoted saying he plans to make New Mexico the “Saudi Arabia of renewable energy.” So how is the former Energy Secretary keeping his promise? And what—besides declaring New Mexico a “clean energy state” and mugging through photo ops while switching from a Lincoln Navigator to a hybrid Ford Escape SUV—has the governor done to make New Mexico a more efficient, more alternative energy kind of state?

City Renewable Energy Initiative

Signed into city law last September, the initiative has nine main goals, which include:

• To develop a program that provides tax incentives and credits to companies that manufacture solar energy products or technologies.

• For all city-owned buildings and facilities to use 15 percent renewable energy within seven years—and for all new city-owned buildings over 100,000 square feet to be equipped with renewable energy technologies that would generate 25 percent of the building's energy.

• To expand current city investments in energy efficiency and to add investments in renewable technologies. (Currently, the city spends 1 percent of its capital improvements money on energy conservation projects.)

film

Reel World

Gorilla Cinema Success—The 1st Annual (hopefully) Gorilla Tango Film Festival went smoothly this last weekend. The festival featured three blocks of short film from filmmakers around the state. When the voting settled, Ryan Denmark's “Date 1.0”came out in first place, followed by Cyndi Trissel's “Phone Friends” in second place. Matt Page's “Shootin' for Love” and Jason Witter's “One Hour Conspiracy” tied for third. Matt Page's “Dial the Devil” locked down fourth place, while Phillip Hughes' “Yellowville” rounded out the top five. Congratulations to all the filmmakers who participated. Thanks to all the folks at Gorilla Tango for supporting local film. And a big “muchas gracias” to all the audience membes who came to check out the local talent.

Rent

Bohemian Rhapsody

All musicals are, by their very nature, fantasies. They require audiences to believe in an alternate universe in which ordinary people are prone to burst into song at the drop of a hat. The success of a musical depends, largely, on how quickly and how comfortably you believe in this world in which street gangs take out their aggressions by dancing and Nazi officers can carry a tune.

Yours, Mine and Ours

Hijinks ensue in a house full of kids. (Wacky hijinks, mind you.)

Following Hollywood's current trend of repetition and regurgitation, Yours, Mine and Ours is a remake of an obscure 1968 Lucille Ball vehicle which most people have never heard of and were not, therefore, clamoring for a remake of.

All Stuffing, All the Time

Thanksgiving Around the Dial

Every time a holiday rolls around, I imply that you hate your relatives and would rather spend the holiday avoiding them and watching TV. I realize now that that is wrong. After all, there are plenty of reasons why you would want to spend your holidays staring at the Idiot Box. You could, for example, be a misanthrope with no family or friends.

art

Culture Shock

Versify—2002 National Poetry Slam team champion Blair will make an appearance at the Blue Dragon Coffeehouse (1517 Girard NE) during the Collage of Verse Poetry Slam on Friday, Nov. 25. He of the Single Name is the poetry editor of The Furnace Magazine and is also a poetry instructor in the Detroit public school system. Blair has performed his spectacular live verse all over the world, and we're very lucky doggies to have him here in Albuquerque for an evening. A host of local slammers will be poeticizing into the Blue Dragon mic as well. Show starts at 7 p.m. 268-5159.

Africa in the Heart of Albuquerque

Pearls of the Antilles

Haiti and Cuba have competing claims to the title "Pearl of the Antilles," explains Emmanuelle Sainte, co-founder of a Pan-African artist collective of (roughly) the same name that opened its doors on the east end of Nob Hill eight months ago. Sainte, along with partner Ken Smith, thought the moniker Pearls of the Antilles would be perfect for their collective. The name not only exudes a certain poetic exoticism, but it's also a fine symbol for the complex history of African peoples, a history that's brought so many descendents of Africa to the New World.

food

All the News That's Fit to Eat

O'Niell's Gets a New Lease on Life!—Robert O'Niell, proprietor of Albuquerque's much-missed O'Niell's Pub, called me up last week to say that he'd found a new space for the bar/restaurant at 4310 Central SE. You may remember O'Niell's Pub closed its doors on Dec. 31 of last year, after the landlords who controlled the space at 3211 Central SE in Nob Hill chose not to continue O'Niell's lease into 2005. "I've been looking for a new building since I couldn't renew my lease at the old place," O'Niell says. Along with four other business partners, O'Niell was recently able to purchase the short-lived Empire nightclub building (one block west of Washington on Central). "We're trying to do something that complements the neighborhood." With the Tricklock, Q-Staff and Highland Theaters all within walking distance, that area is beginning to transform from a graveyard of Route 66-era motels to a thriving and culturally diverse theater district. A new O'Niell's Pub would certainly be another positive addition to the neighborhood.

Munchies

Sandwiches by any means necessary

Ernest and Jo Ann Roybal are serious sandwich people. They've gotten kicked out of a shopping mall, driven insane distances and even tagged their own wall—all in the name of bringing homemade sandwiches and salads to hungry Albuquerqueans. And they've done it all with a smile and a side of potato salad.

Leftover, But Not Left Out

Three ways to beat the leftover turkey blahs

To be perfectly honest, the best way to polish off a mountain of Thanksgiving leftovers is by piling them high on a sloppy, succulent sandwich. You know the drill: A slab of bread lined with butter, cranberry sauce, stuffing, turkey ... maybe a dab of gravy for moisture. No shame in that! But, according to the National Turkey Federation, turkey can go south after just three or four days in the fridge. And not a moment too soon: That's just when those kitchen sink sandwiches start to loose their appeal. But wait—don't throw your turkey baby out with the bath water! Extend the life of your leftovers with a simple stock or soup preparation.

news

A Change in Weather

Gov. Richardson wants to slash the state's greenhouse gas emissions by 75 percent, but is that an impossible task?

A plan to cut 75 percent of New Mexico's greenhouse gas emissions in 45 years sounds like the premise for a science fiction novel. Yet an initiative signed by Gov. Bill Richardson has set such a plan in motion. Along with 20 other states, New Mexico is now working on a strategy for confronting climate change.

A Soldier's Thanksgiving

Ernest Hemingway once said that Paris is a movable feast: That if you're lucky enough to have experienced Paris as a young man, then wherever you go Paris goes with you. Having seen Paris, I think I would agree with him (despite the bad lighting and grainy quality of the video, which left something to be desired). Although I've never actually been with the iconic heiress, from what I can gather it would seem the old man was on to something.

We Can't Just Throw Away the Key

Pathetic fear-mongering in our local media

It was an amazing example of television broadcasting creating ... or better, fabricating ... a story out of thin air. Unfortunately, for all of us, the mischief that entrepreneurial journalism of that sort can gin up is enormous.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Japan—A giant white radish that won the hearts of the Japanese people was in critical condition at a town hall in western Japan late last week after surviving a murder attempt by an unknown assailant. The daikon radish, similar to a giant carrot, first made news a few months ago when it was discovered poking up through the asphalt along a roadside in the town of Aioi, population 33,289. Last week, residents were shocked and even moved to tears to learn that the beloved vegetable, nicknamed “Gutsy Radish,” had been decapitated. TV talk shows seized on the attempted vegecide as a hot topic of discussion and a day later, the top half of the radish was found near the site where it had been growing. A town official said last Thursday that the top half of the severed radish had been placed in water in an attempt to keep it alive and possibly to get it to flower. Asked why the daikon, used as a garnish in traditional Japanese food, had so many fans, town spokesman Jiro Matsuo told reporters, “People discouraged by tough times were cheered by its tenacity and strong will to live.”

Low Wage Capital of America?

“Pobresito Albuquerque”—we're better than that

Congratulations, Albuquerque. According to the city's own website, we are near the top of every list of the cheapest places to do business. We are a leader on the who's who list of cheap labor, cheap office space and cheap real estate. No wonder so many Americans from other cities think we are still part of Mexico.

Rosie Revisited

What would it take to be a 21st century “Rosie”?

Scanning aisle after aisle of men's work clothes and accessories at the local Kmart, I spotted the treasure I needed to complete my Halloween costume—a bright red bandanna. Later, a friend demonstrated how women used to tie those bandannas on their heads in the '40s. All I needed to complete the picture was a dark blue coverall—with sleeves rolled up ready to work—and a Westinghouse Electric employee badge pinned to my collar. I was set.

music

Music to Your Ears

Jasper Brown gets Down—Little Kiss recording artist Jasper Brown will release his debut CD on Saturday, Nov. 26, at a semi-private party on the 200 block of Cornell. Edith Grove, The Backseat Rockers and others are set to perform next to Jasper—so if you haven't gotten an invite, I suggest you start making some phone calls. Or just buy the album. Jasper's The Plan is nine original tracks of Americana, folk and slack-rhythm rock that spirals out from the spare beauty and desolation of his Southeast New Mexican upbringing. Give it a few spins, and you'll be saying "she's got a thing for Jesus" in that same gentle tremolo of his. Look for the album any day now on the Little Kiss website (www.littlekiss.com) and www.cdbaby.com.

Flyer on the Wall

Sticky Moco's Monthly Get Down presents local hip-hop favorites Garbage Pail Kidz, Zach Freeman, Bles from the 2bers and DJ Chach. That's the day after Thanksgiving (Friday, Nov. 25) at Burt's Tiki Lounge. 21-and-over. Doors open at 9 p.m., and it's free! (LM)

Leiahdorus CD Release Party

The soundtrack to your epiphany

Think back to the latest dramatic film you've seen. Fast forward to the scene where the main character realizes everything he's ever wanted is right there in front of him or, when he figures out what it takes to conquer impossible odds. Now, forget the music was playing in the background. Moments like these should really be scored by Leiahdorus' Parallel Universe.

"You Have No Choice but to be Robo-Rocked"

Audiences will be made to witness the torture and humiliation as evil robots force JBOT to rock hard

You may not realize it, but robots are the biggest problem humans face in the 21st century. Their take-over and annihilation of humanity could be only a few short decades or days away. JBOT's miserable situation is just one sign that evil machines will soon rule the earth.

7 Shot Screamers

with At Fault and The Dirty Novels

Wednesday, Nov. 30, 7 p.m.; Winning Coffee Co. (all-ages), $5: St. Louis' own glam-psychobilly foursome the 7 Shot Screamers are perhaps best known for their roles in the Original Sinners—an alt.country group backed by the Screamers and fronted by punk goddess Exene Cervenka (formerly of X). However, with a dab of glam and a smidgen of garage rock, the Screamers have created a sound all their own: a bit like Mike Ness' experimentation with rockabilly, minus the Social Distortion influence and supplemented with psychedelic elements of the Clash. Their song "Hooker" sounds almost like a demented Big Bopper cover of "Johnny B. Goode" and "Keep the Flame Alive" is reminiscent of a decheeseified version of the Kaiser Chief's' "I Predict a Riot." The Screamers will also be joined by new-ish cogendered local rock outfit At Fault, as well as The Dirty Novels. As if that weren't enough, Wednesday's show will take place in the extremely intimate (and hardwood floored) Winning Coffee Co. As with the last Winning-hosted performance by The Hard Lessons, the Screamers show is one in a series of concerts brought to us by Paul from the Dirty Novels. Let him know you appreciate his efforts to give Albuquerqueans the chance to see first-class bands in a unique setting by getting your ass to the show. We promise you'll be glad you did.

Boyd Reno is John Center

with The Oktober People and Gingerbread Patriots

Friday, Nov. 25; Atomic Cantina (21-and-over), free: See how inbred Albuquerque's musical gene pool actually is this Friday as Boyd Reno is John Center (Oh, Ranger!) returns from Seattle with a new ensemble cast. The high concept musical act—where each band member plays a character and each album is a movie—performs at Atomic Cantina with other former Albuquerque residents Westin Glass (Mistletoe) as Don Juan Diego de Mondragón and Jessica Roberts as Nora Bangkok. Joining them in place of bandmates/costars who can't make it down to the Kirk will be Gil Sanchez (Oh, Ranger!) and Noelan Ramirez (Oh, Ranger!, Romeo Goes to Hell). What characters will they play? We don't know ... you'll have to go to the show to find out. What we do know is that Friday's special cast of characters will be performing songs from both John Center projects: Heart Positions (recorded and released in Albuquerque) and the very recent Soul Explosions (recorded and released in Seattle).

So, as someone who has seen all aformentioned bands live, my calculations suggest that this show will be a special collision of some of the best in Albuquerque rock tradition, make-believe screen icons and surprise.

Alibi V.14 No.46 • Nov 17-23, 2005

feature

The Spirit of Getting

Step-by-step instructions on where to buy the perfect gift for your favorite Alibi staff member(s)

People always make such a big stink about how important it is to focus on the wants and needs of others during the Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, pagan-winter-solstice season. We at the Alibi are tired of this stale approach to the holidays. The way we see it, we're generous and giving the rest of the year. Now it's payback time. In other words, instead of focusing on buying gifts for others, this year we've decided to focus entirely on assisting others in buying desirable gifts for us.

Christie Chisholm, Managing Editor/News Editor

There's nothing sexier than a good pen (at least to a writer). Sure, $95 seems like a lot of money to spend on such an item, but it'll last forever, improve your handwriting and ... damn, it just feels so good. This particular pen has been luring me in for weeks—forcing me to drop in unexpectedly to admire it, feel for my wallet, then hesitantly turn away. I did chose one of the priciest pens at the store (most are well-under $100), but who cares?—I deserve it! Of course, Papers! is the kind of place I'd be happy to get anything from. If the pen's too burdensome on your checkbook, you could also buy me a Moleskine notebook or a nice set of stationary, which would be more than satisfactory. And don't forget to pick me up a nice card while you're there—that way I'll know where to send my thank-you note.

Amy Dalness, Calendars Editor

I've been training in Tang Soo Do for nearly three years now and actually learning how to use a sword is still a few years away, but a girl can dream. This wooden Bokken would make an awesome training tool for when I finally reach my black belt. Until then, it will make a great outlet for my frustration against an unsuspecting pillow. It's also much better than giving me a piece of sharp metal, which would most likely result in a few trips to the ER. It would also protect me during the long, scary walk to my car after work, which is often full of ninja-like action. A Bokken would really give me an edge against those nunchuck-wielding fiends. OK, I made that up. How about this: I want it; give it to me or I'll kick your butt. Better logic?

Devin D. O'Leary, Film Editor

Now I can get drunk ... on national pride! What self-respecting Irishman wouldn't love this attractive hip flask complete with pewter inset Celtic knot pattern? It's functional (comes complete with funnel) and holds a generous amount of whisky (for you Scots) or whiskey (for you Irishmen). Among the other Celtic treasures (CDs, books, jewelry, bagpipe accessories), Bally Dun is also an official licenser of Guinness merchandise. Sláinte.

Jessica Cassyle Carr, Staff Writer

When your body, home or office needs adornment, Mariposa is the place to go. Under new ownership, the store sells jewelry and fine arts and crafts in a varying price range, all made by local artists. So, because pretty much all of my dishes are ugly, what I really want in the New Year is art in my cupboard. Both of these ceramic items are functional, so they can be both decorative and used to serve food and drink.

Steven Robert Allen, Editor/Arts & Lit Editor

For whatever reason, I enjoy making a racket. I haven't always been this way. When I was a kid I had a fairly reserved personality—a wallflower type, so to speak. In my teens, though, I discovered the sinful pleasure of distorted electric guitars, and as an adult I've moved on to other ways to pollute the sonic space around me.

Laura Marrich, Music/Food Editor

It's been proven that the drunker you get, the more wildly you gesticulate. And no one knows that unfortunate fact better than Riedel, a company that has been manufacturing top-notch wineglasses for 11 generations or so. Enter the "O." These wineglasses are sensual and sturdy, with a stemless design that resists tipsy tip-overs—and they look and feel just wonderful when cradled in the palm your hand. I like the big, mouthy design of the Pinot/Nebbiolo tumbler, but the "O" series comes in several shapes and sizes that are designed to complement popular varietals like Cabernet/Merlot, Syrah/Shiraz, Chardonnay, Viognier/Chardonnay and Riesling/Sauvignon (each at varying prices). I'll take two of each, please.

Simon McCormack, Alibi Freelancer

This (admittedly trendy) item is the best way to remember the tragedy that was the 2004 Presidential Election. It features 299 minutes of raw, in-your-face “Daily Show” action, including coverage of the Democratic and Republican National Conventions, election night coverage and a bunch of other bonus material like audio commentaries, an introduction by Jon Stewart and original segments with the Daily Show's correspondents. It's just what I need to get psyched for '08 when the Democrats will have another enormous tool that I can reluctantly vote for. (Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, anyone?)

news

Working on the Railroad

After years of deliberation, the wheels may finally be turning on a project to redevelop Albuquerque's historic railyard

In the late 1800s, railroad executives chose to locate their regional hub here in Albuquerque, transforming what was then a small, rural town into the territory's commercial center. The railyards remained in operation until after World War II when the automobile dramatically diminished the role of trains in transport. For decades, the scene of what was once the city's financial engine has been more or less vacant. Over the past several years, as redevelopment has become more and more likely, the huge, valuable piece of land, which lies in the heart of the city between First Street and Broadway bordering Downtown and the South Valley, has been a cause of local curiosity and concern.

Winding Down

Albuquerque's 16th Council met for the next to last time on Nov. 7. Councilors Sally Mayer and Miguel Gómez were absent.

To Find Out What's Really Going on in Iraq ...

Ask a woman from Santa Fe

To find out what's really going on in Iraq, you could talk to soldiers who've been there. I met one of the soldiers injured in the explosion shown in Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 911, the one where a bomb goes off in a tree. Like other returning veterans I've tried to draw out, the most detail I got from him was, “It's worse than you can imagine.”

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Bosnia—A hand grenade being used in a game of catch exploded early last Saturday killing three youths in the town of Novi Grad. Two of the youths, aged 19 and 20, one of them from neighboring Croatia, were killed instantly while a 20-year-old woman died on the way to the hospital, police said. The woman's sister was slightly injured while two other youths suffered serious injuries. The explosion occurred at 2 a.m. in the Novi Grad town center, an area frequented by the town's young population. ONASA news agency quoted witnesses as saying the youths tossed the hand grenade back and forth to each other before it exploded in the hands of one of them.

food

The Dish

Beaujolais and Beyond—At one minute past midnight on the third Thursday of each November, a million cases of Beaujolais Nouveau—a young Beaujolais wine made from Gamay grapes—begin their yearly journey to every wine-consuming corner of the world. This Thursday (for many of you, that means today) marks the hotly-awaited release date for the Beaujolais Nouveau, and with it, an international excuse to party. Look for tasting parties at many of your favorite local restaurants, including St. Clair Winery & Bistro (243-9916), Great American Land & Cattle Co. (292-1510), Graze by Jennifer James and Gulp (268-4729) and De la Tierra up in Taos (505-737-9855).

The Wonderful Wines of New Mexico

Get your holiday spirits locally

Nothing says holiday love like a good bottle of wine. It can be red, white, blush or sparkling, but try having a party without any—you'll miss that sweet, tart or bubbly grape goodness after a few rounds of Amstel Light.

film

Reel World

Made-Up Movies—On Friday, Nov. 18, Gorilla Tango Theater will present its very first “Cinema Loco” event. Billed as “improv goes to the movie,” the evening will feature a classic Hollywood film (in this case, 1936's Reefer Madness). Audiences are asked to give the film a new title, and it's up to the talented members of Gorilla Tango's improv cast to dub all-new dialogue for the film. None of the players have seen the movie in advance, making each show a never-to-be-repeated comedy event. The show starts at 10 p.m. Gorilla Tango is located at 519 Central NW.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Fourth film knows how to make magic on screen

“Dark and difficult times lie ahead,” warns the tagline of the newest Harry Potter film. As longtime fans of the book series know, truer words were never spoken. The young wizard and his pals are in for a very dark and very difficult time in this, the fourth filmed excursion into J.K. Rowling's mega-popular fantasy universe.

“The Apprentice: Martha Stewart” on NBC

Martha's catchphrase bites her on the ass

I hate to be the one to say it, Martha, but you just don't fit in. Not on NBC, anyway.

It seems that, after a season of steadily slipping ratings, “The Apprentice: Martha Stewart” is being phased out. NBC has apparently decided not to bring back domestic diva Martha Stewart to host another season of her poorly received “Apprentice” spin-off. NBC executives said that it had always been their intention to air only a single season of “The Apprentice: Martha Stewart”--which is probably news to Martha who, only a few weeks ago, was bragging to Fortune magazine that producers of “The Apprentice” were thinking of kicking Donald Trump off his own show and replacing him with her.

music

Music to Your Ears

Your Name in Lights Heads West—With a name like Your Name in Lights, your options are pretty well-laid out for you: Either rise to the top of rock and roll celebrity, or face fading away into the mired bog of bitterness and unfulfilled dreams. Thankfully, it's looking more and more like the former for these Burque-based hard-core kids—especially since they've been selected to play in the Ernie Ball Battle of the Bands, to be held in December at the Key Club in Hollywood. YNIL will compete against four other bands, whittled down from a jaw-dropping10,000 groups that had initially entered the first round of competition. Perhaps even more incredible is the fact that YNIL has been playing together for just one year—one year! Unbelievable. For more information on the Battle, contact battle@ernieball.com.

Oscillate Wildly

The Oscillation Festival revels in electronic music from New Mexico

The Oscillation Festival, New Mexico's only local electronic music showcase, will launch into its fifth year this Friday, Nov. 18, at Downtown Albuquerque's Cell Theatre (700 First Street NW). The all-ages festival will feature roughly 12 electronic acts from the Albuquerque and Santa Fe area. Performances will be broken into conceptually exciting "vs."-style sets, where teams of musicians go head-to-head on the same stage—with the same equipment and songs—in what promoter Kent Wilhelmi calls "a demonstration of all-out audio warfare." Not only that, Oscillation sets out to capture the somewhat broad diversity of New Mexico's growing electronic music scene, from synthpop to dark ambient and noize. Confirmed acts include Autopoesis, Brian Botkiller, Diverje, Enigmatik, Leiahdorus, Noir Effect, Ohmniscience, RAM, Unnatural Element, The Wake 6, Vertigo Venus and Wurm. The Alibi recently caught up with Wilhelmi (AKA DJ Kentifyr) for a quick tour of Albuqerque's electronic happenings.

A Static Lullaby

with Haste the Day, Halifax, Scary Kids Scaring Kids and Bedlight for Blue Eyes

Monday, Nov. 21, 7 p.m.; Launchpad (all-ages): Many a time, I've found myself wondering whether bands like My Chemical Romance, Midtown and New Found Glory are really that broken up about, say, not being invited to prom or knowing the girl they have a crush on is dating a jerk. Until they released Faso Latido, A Static Lullaby could have been grouped in with these overly dramatic ensembles. Their debut And Don't Forget to Breathe smacks of forced emotion and unsubstantiated rage and sorrow. With Faso, however, A Static Lullaby has learned that it isn't how loud you scream that's most important, but when and what you choose to scream about that makes all the difference in the screamo universe. Without exactly mellowing out, ASL has matured and polished themselves up to the point where they seem less like immature, pubescent pansies and more like grown adults with a knack for screaming-cum-melody. Meanwhile, Joe Brown's lyrics have come a long way; focusing less on his own broken heart and more on large-scale devastation. Also apparent on Faso is the band's increased adeptness with their instruments, from the scratchy, layered guitar on down. After opening for The Used, Killswitch Engage and Senses Fail on the "Taste of Chaos Tour," the vastly improved ASL is swinging through the Duke City to headline an all-ages show at the Launchpad. Screamo fans looking for genuine angst will not be disappointed.

Flyer on the Wall

Get cozy with Rocksquawk.com all-stars Five Minute Sin, Simfonik Plague, Third Hour, 7 of 9, Nunchuk and Holiday Sail. Launchpad doors open at 8 p.m. on Wednesday, Nov. 23. $3 gets you in, but you've gotta be 21-or-older. Squawk on! (LM)

The Hard Lessons

hosted by The Dirty Novels with special guests The Gracchi and The Fab Jim Phillips Show

Thursday, Nov. 17 : Winning Coffee (all-ages), $5: Detroit has done it again. Another in a long line of innovative rock purist ensembles has made a name for themselves on the national scene. In this case, The Hard Lessons take guitar-driven rock with soulful organ and sultry vocals and combine it with a "let the good times roll" mentality indicative of a band that knows the world is going to hell, but has taken enough hydrocodone to make it a non-issue. With names like Agostino Visocchi and Korin Cox, one might think that THL is composed of ultra-hip ex-MTV VJs, but their sound is not so much chic as down-to-earth and playful. THL has gained tons o' critical acclaim for their latest release, Gasoline. The album has also helped firmly place the band in the indie genre, despite having elements of soul and garage rock in their repertoire. The Hard Lessons will bring their sadistically warm and fuzzy sound to Winning Coffee on Thursday, for an all-ages show hosted by Albuquerque favorites The Dirty Novels. Rest assured, this will not be your typical, low-caliber coffee shop performance.

The 17th Annual Western Music Association International Awards Show and Festival

Although we live in the heart of the Wild West, cowboys that ride off into the sunset are not something often seen in the bustling metropolis of Albuquerque. The days of cattle drives, roping steers and whistling Dixie are all but a memory here. But one look up to the stars proves that spirit is still alive. We can still see them; the city has not grown too big to block them out.

art

Culture Shock

Twinkles, Twinkles—Bandelier Elementary is hosting its Holiday Shop and Stroll this Saturday, Nov. 19, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Vendors will be offering everything from clothing to toys to educational gifts to jewelry to other locally made products, making this an ideal opportunity to pick up some one-of-a-kind gifts. Carleen Lopez will be hawking her unique saris. Rudy J. Miera will be selling retablos. Folk artist Steve White will be on hand with an array of custom-made PEZ dispensers. I'm told Twinkles the Clown will be making an appearance as well, and there should be plenty of food. Bandelier is located at 3309 Pershing SE, half a block or so from Hyder Park. For more information, call Sarah Saenz at 977-8881.

Meat Puppets

The Higher the Marble Content, The Better the Meat at Bivouac Artspace

I've seen Tracy Stuckey's art around town and always assumed he was a she. It wasn't until I visited his current solo show at the Bivouac Artspace that I learned this is not the case.

Wall Scrawl

Downtown Contemporary Art Center

Capping off 2005, the Downtown Contemporary Art Center (105 Fourth Street SW) presents a new exhibit highlighting local artists with a flair for urban aesthetics, including Derick Montez, Phillip Orozco, Mike Giant, Logan Demas, Betty Dore, Rob Rael, Lynn Johnson and several others. With everything from aerosol art to ornamented skateboard decks, Wall Scrawl should be a killer show. The exhibit opens this Friday, Nov. 18, with a reception from 5 to 9 p.m. catered by Downtown Java Joe's. If you can't swing by that evening, Wall Scrawl will remain on display through Dec. 30. For more information, call 242-1983.

Tartuffe

Vortex Theatre

Subtitled The Impostor, Moliere's play Tartuffe tells the tale of a religious hypocrite who cheats a rube out of his worldly belongings. A new production of the play, translated by former poet laureate Richard Wilbur and directed by John Hardman, opens this weekend at The Vortex Theatre (2004 1/2 Central SE). Staged in modern dress, this comedy is as timely now as it was when first penned over three centuries ago. Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m. $10 general, $8 students/seniors. Sundays at 6 p.m. $8. Runs through Dec. 11. 247-8600.

Think Global, Buy Local

New Mexico Books and More

Great ideas are worth repeating. Last year, New Mexico presses and authors—led by local publisher LPD Press—pooled their resources to rent a storefront in Cottonwood Mall during the holiday shopping season. The creative gamble paid off. The co-op got massive local media coverage and ended up selling over 3,400 books in 40 days.