Alibi V.15 No.1 • Jan 5-11, 2006

The Mayor’s Race Is a Thing

Albuquerque election forum is happening this Wednesday, August 23

All the candidates are jockeying for position as they come around the home bend. Get right up there on the edge of the running, as it were, when the North Valley Coalition and Weekly Alibi present a forum for Albuquerque Mayoral Candidates at the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center (2401 12th Street NW).

Jurassic Best of Burque Restaurants World

The most ferocious of prehistoric reader polls is back

What's your favorite New Mexican food? What's your favorite dinosaur? Ok, now put them together and what do you get? An Enchiladodon? A Chileopteryx? A Tacoraptor? A Sopaipillatops? Awesome! Get ready for the T. Rex of “Best of City” contests: The original Best of Burque Restaurants will be hitting Weekly Alibi racks and website on Thursday, Oct. 12. The polls are open now. Vote on your favorite Frito pie, vegetarian food, Japanese restaurant and local brewery. Let your voice be heard! Rawr!

feature

The World at Your Feet

The Revolutions International Theatre Festival

If you're a lefty anarchist, you're invited. If you're a right-wing corporatist, you're invited. If you know as much about politics as Eminem knows about Gustav Mahler, you're also invited.

"Because of the title of the festival," says Joe Perrachio, the artistic director of the Revolutions International Theatre Festival, "people often ask if this is a left-wing event. This festival has no wing. There are many definitions of the word ’revolution.' In this case, we're talking about revolutionary art, art that changes the way people view the world."

The festival kicks off this week at venues all over Albuquerque and Santa Fe, bringing some of the best experimental performers from around the world right here to New Mexico. Every year it's been claimed that the festival is bigger and better than ever, and every year it's been true. This year will likely be no exception. As part of Albuquerque's year-long 300th birthday celebration, this sixth annual installment is called "a Tricentennial celebration of world theater."

While most other Tricentennial events highlight our city's distinguished Hispanic heritage, Revolutions is bringing in acts from Canada, Thailand, Israel, South Africa and across the U.S., as well as performers from Mexico and Spain. As such, the festival celebrates Albuquerque's cultural history in the broadest, most egalitarian sense.

"If we had millions of dollars," says Perrachio, "we'd have people from everywhere, but we had to do this in broad strokes. The festival opens with a Native American troupe and closes with a Spanish one. Even chronologically, this says something about the heritage of our area, by bookending Revolutions with the two dominant cultures that identify the region. In between, there are works from a multitude of cultures."

Even more important, he says, is that these are new works, not traditional works. In this way, the festival glances back at the roots of Albuquerque's cultural heritage but also looks toward the future. "We can't escape the fact," says Perrachio, "that this is becoming an integrated world. By presenting Revolutions, we simply want to inspire creative people from different cultures into a dialogue with each other."

Over its short lifespan, Revolutions has quite possibly become the best show in town. This is cutting-edge performance in the truest sense. Watch your fingers—some of this stuff will slice right through the bone. Below you'll find a roundup of events with some tips from Perrachio for making the most of the next three weeks.

Kick-off Party
Tuesday, Jan. 10, at 7 p.m.
Albuquerque Press Club
There'll be live music, catered grub and other entertainments. $5 at the door.

Red Sky
Raven Stole the Sun/Caribou Song
Wednesday, Jan. 11, and Thursday, Jan. 12, at 8 p.m.
KiMo Theatre
This Native American theater company from Toronto will present a double header, mixing dance, masks and live music. Raven Stole the Sun tells how the trickster Raven transformed himself in a plot to steal the stars, moon and sun so humans could have light. Caribou Song explains why it's necessary to embrace the spirit of animals to live in harmony with nature. "These are family shows," says Perrachio. "Bring the kids along." $20 general, $12 students.

Reptilian Lounge
Saturdays, Jan. 14-28, at 10:30 p.m.
Tricklock Performance Space
For the past decade, the Reptilian Lounge variety show has entertained late-night adult audiences by showcasing local, national and international performers. "This year marks the 10th anniversary of the lounge," says Perrachio. "We had our first one in the spring of 1996, and this maniacal late-night cabaret keeps playing to sellout audiences." You never know quite what you're going to get, but with an audience as entertaining as the performers, odds are you'll be amused. $6.77 at the door.

Chad Brummett
Frankenstein
Thursday, Jan. 19, at 10 p.m.
Tricklock Performance Space
For one night only, Tricklock Company superstar Chad Brummett will present Frankenstein, a one-man teaser for a planned full production that will be part of Tricklock's 2007 season. The show will incorporate music, illusion, poetry and, best of all, puppets. "There'll be a talk-back session after this show with the audience," says Perrachio, "so Chad can get some feedback to help with revisions." $8.

Dan Guerrero
¡Gaytino!
Friday, Jan. 13, and Saturday, Jan. 14, at 8 p.m.
National Hispanic Cultural Center
Thursday, Jan. 19, at 8 p.m.
Lensic Theatre (Santa Fe)
Guerrero sifts through his relationship with his father, the legendary mariachi musician Lalo Guerrero, in a one-man show that combines Chicago history with Dan's experiences as a gay man. Both funny and dramatic, some proceeds from ¡Gaytino! will benefit PFLAG New Mexico (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). "This show is about a guy who comes from a traditional Mexican family," says Perrachio, "but he grows up gay and wants to become a dancer on Broadway. It's about his struggle to become a modern artist, yet the performance itself is rooted in tradition." $25 general, $15 students. (For Lensic tickets, call 988-1234.)

Vivian Cruz and Hebe Rosell
Talismans
Friday, Jan. 13, through Sunday, Jan. 15, at 6 p.m.
Theatre X
"This one is beautifully choreographed with wonderful poetry," says Perrachio. Renowned Mexico City performers Cruz and Rosell present an ambitious staging of surrealist Argentinean poet Olga Orozco's work, focussing on Latin women's varied roles as mothers, sisters and daughters. Combining elements of magic and prophecy, the show incorporates everything from poetry to video to dance to music to visual art. $18 general, $12 students.

Acco Theatre Centre of Acco, Israel
Prayer: Sacred Dances
Thursday, Jan. 19, and Friday, Jan. 20, at 6 p.m.
Orpheum Performance Space
Sunday, Jan. 22, at 2 p.m.
Wise Fool New Mexico (Santa Fe)
Composed of both Arab and Jewish performers, Acco made a well-received appearance in Albuquerque during Revolutions 2004. They're back this year with a show called Prayer: Sacred Dances, a performance incorporating Sufi dances with music based on Jewish and Muslim mystic prayers accompanied by text from Rumi, Jalal al-Din and other superstars of Sufi poetry. "In 2004," says Perrachio, "we couldn't get two of the Arab performers in the troupe into the company. Acco had to cast two UNM students in their production. This time around, we got one of the two guys into the country. It's these little victories that make Revolutions so satisfying for us. Prayer will be one of our more traditional performances in this year's festival." $18 general, $12 students. (For tickets to the Santa Fe performance, call 992-2588.)

Dean Cameron
Nigerian Spam Scam Scam
Wednesday, Jan. 18, and Thursday, Jan. 19, at 8 p.m.
Theatre X
Saturday, Jan. 21, at 6 p.m.
In a piece directed by Paul Provenza, Cameron poses as a sexually confused Florida millionaire who engages in a nine-month e-mail correspondence with one of those annoying Nigerian cyber scam artists. "He uses the transcripts of his actual e-mail exchange as they're trying to get money out of him," says Perrachio. There'll be two men on stage with laptops. Victor Isaac plays the puzzled Nigerian scam artist. This hilarious performance got rave reviews at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in Scotland in 2004 and 2005. It should be a hoot. $18 general, $12 students. (For tickets to the Santa Fe performance, call 992-2588.)

Billy the Mime
Wednesday, Jan. 18, and Thursday, Jan. 19, at 10 p.m.
Theatre X
Saturday, Jan. 21, at 8 p.m.
Wise Fool New Mexico.
You might remember Billy from his astonishing performance in the recent hit film, The Aristocrats. During this Revolutions appearance, he'll use his miming talents to comment on current hot-button issues as well as historical events and people. No words can describe this. "This one's definitely for adults only," says Perrachio. "Anybody bored by mime won't be bored with this." $18 general, $12 students. (For tickets to the Santa Fe performance, call 992-2588.)

Tricklock Company
The Glorious & Bloodthirsty Billy the Kid—The Greatest Serial Killer of our Time! A Wild West Show & Cabaret
Friday, Jan. 20, and Saturday, Jan. 21, at 8 p.m.
Rodey Theatre
The Tricklock Company brings a little senseless violence to UNM's Rodey Theatre stage with The Glorious & Bloodthirsty Billy the Kid. They've toured this show around the world to audiences who have been both appalled and thrilled by this surreal interpretation of Billy the Kid's biography. Chances are you've seen an earlier version of this shoot-'em-up doozie right here in Albuquerque. The performance at the Rodey features a brand new version. "We've rewritten the show," says Perrachio, "condensing it, bringing it back here after two international tours. We've found people around the world to be really interested in what Americans think of America, especially since so much information about us is filtered through the media. To see people show up and do a show about one of our most famous folk heroes, it makes people realize we're a culture of thoughtful people, capable of questioning our own behavior and values." Load up the six-shooter and head on down. This little doggie's sure to stir up trouble. $15 general, $12 students.

Paul Provenza
Friday, Jan. 20, at 10 p.m.
Guild Cinema
Best known for his role as Dr. Philip Capra on the hit TV show "Northern Exposure," Paul Provenza is also an accomplished stand-up comedian, and he'll do his hilarious shtick at the Guild. "This is a benefit for Tricklock," says Perrachio. "It's also a CD and DVD release party for The Aristrocrats, which Paul directed." $12 general, $10 students.

Salon Sunday
Sunday, Jan. 22, at 8 p.m.
Bubble Lounge
"I was sitting on a beach in Greece on my honeymoon and got to thinking about how rarely people get to sit down with each other these days just to bat ideas around," says Perrachio. The result of that oceanside musing is Salon Sunday, in which local and international provocateurs will get together to discuss inventions, read from essays, poems and plays, and present off-the-cuff ideas. Perrachio says there'll be music, food and hookahs. Bring whatever you've got cooking and bring it down for a good public chewing. This event is free.

Albuquerque Youth Poetry Slam-Off
Tuesday, Jan. 24, at 8 p.m.
Tricklock Performance Space
ABQ Slam, which organized the National Poetry Slam here in Albuquerque last August, has pulled together this competition to determine which teen poets will be sent to the Brave New Voices youth poetry slam tournament in New York City later this year. Idris Goodwin (see below) will kick off the match by reading an original poem. $8.

Idris Goodwin
I Have An Agenda
Wednesday, Jan. 25, at 8 p.m.
Vortex Theatre
Hip-hop poet and playwright Idris Goodwin of Chicago's Hermit Arts Theatre will present an evening of poetry from his latest collection. Then, aided by a live DJ, he'll dish out some songs from his current and forthcoming hip-hop CDs. Goodwin's play Braising was selected for the 2005 National New Plays Showcase at Stanford University. The Tricklock Company, in collaboration with Hermit Arts, will stage it in the spring of this year. $15 general, $12 students.

Kevin R. Elder
Black River Falling
Thursday, Jan. 26, at 10 p.m.
Tricklock Performance Space
Tricklock Company member Kevin R. Elder presents another Tricklock work in progress for one night only. Based on a series of mysterious deaths that took place during the 19th century, Black River Falling incorporates music and puppetry with minimal text. Perrachio says this one has an all-woman cast and will feature a feedback session with the audience after the show. $8.

Boyzie Cekwana's The Floating Outfit Project
Ja'nee/Rona
Thursday, Jan. 26, at 7:30 p.m.
South Broadway Cultural Center
As in past festivals, Global DanceFest will join forces with Revolutions to offer up a performance from a cutting-edge international dance troupe. The Floating Outfit Project is based in Soweto, South Africa. Ja'nee comments on such aspects of African life as male dominance, AIDS and violence. Rona is inspired by Japanese Butoh dance and celebrates South African spiritual identity. Both are choreographed by Boyzie Cekwana, who also performs along with the troupe's dancers. "Once again, for the third year in a row, we're collaborating with Global DanceFest," says Perrachio. "The Floating Outfit Project could be described as contemporary dance loosely inspired by traditional African forms." $20 general, $12 students.

Witness Relocation Company/Patravadi Theatre
In a Hall in the Palace of Pyrrhus
Friday, Jan. 27, and Saturday, Jan. 28, at 7 p.m.
KiMo Theatre
Witness Relocation Company of New York City and Patravadi Theatre of Bangkok are collaborating on a performance loosely based on Jean Racine's post-Trojan War tale, Andromaque. This show presents the kind of cultural bridging that Perrachio sees as the foundation of Revolutions. "This is movement and music theater drawing on modern contemporary American styles of theater blended with sword dances from Thailand," he says. "It's definitely one of the most interesting pieces in the festival." $20 general, $12 students.

Teatro Titzina
Entrañas
Friday, Jan. 27, and Saturday, Jan. 28, at 9 p.m.; Sunday, Jan. 29, at 2 p.m.
Theatre X
Spanish troupe Teatro Titzina caps off this year's Revolutions International Theatre Festival with a fusion of clowning, dance, music and other theatrical forms. Entrañas, which means "entrails," explores the nightmare of modern global warfare through the lens of highly physical theater. "These actors trained at Lecoque, the renowned physical theater institute in Paris," says Perrachio. "It's a very moving piece about the nature of war. We're very lucky to get them." $18 general, $12 students.

film

Reel World

The Worst Films of 2005

As hard as it might be to choose the best films in a year that offered few true standouts, it's doubly hard to choose the worst films in a year that offered a flood of risible sequels (Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, Son of the Mask, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo), horrid TV-to-movie translations (The Honeymooners, Bewitched), seriously dumb action vehicles (The Pacifier, xXx 2: State of the Union, Doom) and a movie starring Ashlee Simpson (the prophetically titled Undiscovered). Here, however, are the worst of the worst:

We Love Bats, Giant Apes, Gay Cowboys and Terrorists

The top 10 films of 2005

This past year won't exactly go down as a high-water mark in the history of cinema. Feb. 24 kicked off an unprecedented 19-week box office slide that carried well into the normally lucrative summer movie season. By the close of 2005, attendance had dropped 11 percent and the box office was down more than five percent from 2004 (which isn't exactly chump change when you're talking about an $8.4 billion industry). The most likely culprit? Bad films. Despite a wealth of Oscar bait that just missed the mark (Cinderella Man, Walk the Line, North Country) and megawatt blockbusters that weren't quite up to snuff (Fantastic Four, War of the Worlds, Stealth), 2005 did manage a few standouts. This, then, is my collection of this year's best of the best:

Top Five TV Shows of 2005

The year 2005 may be remembered less for its shows and more for its news coverage. Sure, there was plenty happening in TV Land: Stars were learning to dance, Danny Bonaduce was breaking, “Lost” finally showed us what was in the hatch and “Desperate Housewives” was sinking into an almost insurmountable second-season slump. But it was the nonstop news events that had us glued to our sets, for better (the empathetic Katrina coverage) or worse (the scandalous Michael Jackson trial).

music

Music to Your Ears

Return of The Roxiehearts—Rejoice! Albuquerque all-girl garage punkers will hit the stage at Burt's Tiki Lounge after a baby-induced breather that lasted just under two years. The Roxiehearts are made up of Cara (drummer and babymaker), Penny (guitarist and singer), Amy (singer) and Burt's manager/bartender/booker Melissa (bassist). Melissa says that this show will be instrumental in helping them get back into the swing of things, adding "we will definitely be playing out more often and there will be new songs in the future." The show is slated for Friday, Jan. 6, at what's being billed as Amanda and Ethan's Going Away Party. (Note to Amanda and Ethan: Your friends will miss you and they wish you the best in New York.) The Roxiehearts are joined by Leche De Hombre, a reportedly kick-ass group of guys from Las Cruces, Swingin' Meat and The El Paso Hot Button, who's actually from Oklahoma City, and is really only made up of one guy. This is the show of the week, without a doubt.

Flyer on the Wall

Touch the glistening monster pecs of New Mexico metal with Minus Seven, Given the Grave, Last 15, The Bayonet and Last House on the Left at the always-all-ages Compound (3206 San Mateo NE). Doors open at 6 p.m. $5 gets you in. (LM)

Kid Moe

with DV8 and special guests

Concord, Calif.'s power-pop purveyors Kid Moe have a sound that's part glowing metal fuzz and part cough syrup aftertaste. They haven't quite grown up all the way but, if bands like Weezer are any indication, you'd better hurry up and see them before they turn into Hugh Hefner-worshiping crumb bums. It's Kid Moe's walking-through-the-mukish style that makes the trio of two fellas and a lady so darn charming. Their latest release, Hella Okay, takes several digs at California culture while giving us bittersweet pop songs for the hopelessly unhip. Vincent Lay's vocals are free of embellishment, and although his lyrics could benefit from some tinkering ("why can't my new girlfriend be like my old girlfriend?" is a typical passage), his unapologetically a-melodic voice sets the band apart from their power-pop peers.

news

The P.U.-litzer Prizes 2005

More than a dozen years ago, I joined with Jeff Cohen (founder of the media watch group FAIR) to establish the P.U.-litzer Prizes. Ever since then, the annual awards have given recognition to the stinkiest media performances of the year.

Magic with Magnets

When I was a kid, I read the funnies in the Sunday papers with a devotion that bordered on the religious. I poured over those colorful panels like some biblical scholar searching for revelations in a newly discovered parchment scroll. Dick Tracy was one of my favorites.

A Whiter, Nastier Shade of Pale

Local political blogger Joe Monahan (www.joemonahan.com) launched the New Year with a rapturous love note to Garrey Carruthers, former Republican governor and current dean of the New Mexico State University College of Business. Monahan is beside himself with enthusiasm over Carruthers' "bold, blunt assessment" and "dose of reality" pinning New Mexico's current and future problems directly to the state's Latino and Native American citizens. (Ever notice how right-leaners reserve terms like "bold, blunt assessment" and "dose of reality" for comments dissing minorities, women, liberals or gays?)

Affordable Health Care—Is It Possible?

New national and state initiatives demonstrate a commitment to finding the answer

Already through two cups of tea, and my friend was still telling me about her last visit to the doctor. The story took so long to tell, not because she is long-winded, but because there were so many different things that happened in her tale of a day-long doctor visit and subsequent day-long trip to a specialist. Still sipping my sweet Yogi tea, I became worried about insurance coverage for such complicated consultation, but she looked at me blankly, “Health insurance? I'm self-employed, I can't afford it.”

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Germany—Two armed robbers made off with considerably less than expected when they held up a money courier and made off with his first aid kit. The two unidentified bandits pursued the courier at high speed before shooting at his vehicle and forcing him to stop on a road in Gronau. After forcing the vehicle's trunk open, one of the crooks snatched a case and fled. Instead of taking the suitcase full of money, however, the confused bandit grabbed the car's roadside first aid kit. “If there was an award for the dumbest crooks, they would certainly be in the running,” police spokesperson Johann Steinlitz told reporters. The courier was not harmed in the incident and police are taking the investigation seriously, even though the crime failed miserably.

art

Culture Shock

Love or Let Die—In theory, Valentine's Day can be the most joyful time of the year. In practice, it's usually a full-on psychological nightmare characterized by extreme levels of loneliness and torment. But you don't need to let it get you down. Show Cupid who's boss by entering the Alibi's Third Annual Valentine's Day Card Contest.

Live From Albuquerque

It's the top 10 local arts events of 2005!

There's no better time for an accounting of a year gone by than at the birth of new one that just popped purple and screaming from the loins of Mama Time. This year, I've decided to confine my top 10 arts moments (largely) to local arts. It wasn't easy to narrow this down. It never is. I know I left plenty of things out, but I'll pay my dues for that in the next life. Hopefully, the Lord will have mercy on my art-lovin' soul.

Saving Fish from Drowning

An interview with Amy Tan

Amy Tan's latest novel, Saving Fish from Drowning (Putnam, hardcover, $26.95), pulls a fast one on readers. It begins with a story about how Tan was inspired by a real-life San Francisco socialite named Bibi Chen. Then it asks us to believe her latest novel is narrated by Chen from beyond the grave. Only gradually will readers realize that there was no Bibi Chen.

food

Dagmar's Delectables

Oodles of strudel and lots of brats

Of the top 10 reasons to eat at Dagmar's Delectables, the No. 10 reason is because, thanks to this über-yummy schnitzel den, it isn't impossible to find really good German food in Albuquerque. And if warm apple strudel is one of your favorite things, then you're in luck—they've got that in abundance.

Alibi V.14 No.52 • Dec 29-Jan 4, 2005

feature

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

The Best and Worst of 2005

Lord knows we all love a good story, and Albuquerque is full of them. From political skullduggery to progressive development to social activism and poetic glory, we're up to our elbows in tantalizing tales. If you haven't been paying attention, or if your memory's starting to go with age, don't fear: the Best and Worst of 2005 is here.

news

The Dirty Understory

The non-native salt cedar is a plague on many waterways in the U.S., but over the past few years in Albuquerque, with a little money, time and effort, the reign of salt cedars could be coming to an end

“Salt cedar” is a term most Albuquerqueans have heard before. Also known as “tamarisk,” the plant came to the U.S. in the early 1800's as an ornamental shrub, but by the '50s had overtaken many waterways throughout the West, including our own local Bosque.

Out with the Old, In with the New

Political changes coming in 2006?

Thinking about next November's election this early is as shameless as those cheesy Christmas decorations that go up at the mall every October. But 2006 is a big election year for our city, state and nation. So here's a call to voters to put your good citizen caps on and start thinking about the upcoming elections, even as you recover from your holiday shopping/eating binge.

Is the City Bypassing Eminent Domain?

Eighty crimes, from murder to shoplifting, are included in an amendment introduced by City Council member Craig Loy. Loy feels the current wide-ranging Nuisance Abatement Ordinance needs more teeth. Promoted as a necessary measure to control nuisance properties such as large apartment complexes and places like the Blue Spruce Lounge, the amendment actually includes all real property, both commercial and residential, plus personal property and vehicles.

New Year's Revolutions

My track record with keeping New Year's resolutions has been decidedly lame in recent years—viz., my vocabulary continues to demonstrate a propensity for scatology and obscenity; my addiction to television sports remains un-remediated and my vows to begin each morning with 15 minutes of quiet reflection hold sway until, oh, sometime right before Three Kings Day on Jan. 6. So this year, I've decided to abandon resolutions and instead attempt a series of predictions about improbable but very desirable revolutions I think will occur in the upcoming year.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: New Zealand—According to police reports, some 40 drunken Santa Claus clones rampaged through the streets of Central Auckland last Sunday, stealing from stores and assaulting security guards. The New Zealand Herald reported that the event was designed as a protest against the commercialism of Christmas. Police said some of the red-clad Santas threw beer bottles, one jolly old elf tried to climb the mooring of a cruise ship and a security guard was punched during the fracas. One of the bearded troublemakers allegedly attacked a Christmas tree. “They came in, said ’Merry Christmas' and then helped themselves,” convenience store staff member Changa Manakynda told the Herald. The event's organizer, Alex Dyer, said the event would end only when someone was arrested. The mass protest was linked to the online site www.santarchy.com, which records similar events going back 12 years. Police said attempts at identifying the criminals led to some confusion. “With a number of people dressed in the same outfit, it was difficult for any witnesses to confirm the identity of who was doing what,” Senior Sergeant Matt Rogers told Reuters News Service.

film

Reel World

Tarantino Two-Step—Quentin Tarantino is planning on releasing his long promised single-film cut of Kill Bill. Tarantino said he spent so much time working on the two-part film that he wanted to take a year off from it. Starting early next year, though, Tarantino will begin editing the two films, Kill Bill: Volume 1 and Kill Bill: Volume 2, into one epic saga. The mega-version is expected to differ in several respects from the original releases and will hit theaters sometime late in 2006. A special DVD version, featuring plenty of supplementary material, will come out shortly after. ... Of course, this is all on top of directing duties for the horror anthology Grindhouse, which Tarantino is splitting with pal Robert Rodriguez. Grindhouse is expected to begin official filming sometime in January.

Fun with Dick and Jane

Stale remake of '70s comedy knows the fine art of ripping people off

To remake or not to remake: That is the Hollywood question. ... Although, considering the number of remakes clogging cineplex marquees this year, it's probably a moot question. The more apt question, I suppose, is what to remake? Logic dictates that remake-hungry movie executives should probably stay away from classic, already perfected films with which audiences are intimately familiar. Except that Peter Jackson's remake of King Kong was one of the best films of 2005. By a similar token, little-known, cleverly conceived but poorly executed films are probably perfect for remaking. Except that the brand new update of 1977's little-known, cleverly conceived but poorly executed Fun With Dick and Jane isn't really much fun at all.

Wolf Creek

Well-crafted slasher flick misses the heart, but gets the guts, at least

You've got to give freshman filmmaker Greg McLean all the credit in the world for trying to make a good horror movie. As it stands, the year 2005 will go down in history as producing some of the worst horror movies since the dawn of the drive-in era. Amid the 2005 tangle of White Noise, Alone in the Dark, House of Wax, Cry_Wolf, The Fog and countless others, McLean's lean, mean Aussie import Wolf Creek stands as an impressive achievement. It is genuinely shocking, impressively acted and McLean proves he knows his way around a camera right out of the gate. ... Which is why it's such a crying shame Wolf Creek is saddled with a totally generic Texas Chainsaw Massacre ripoff script.

Brokeback Mountain

Ledger, Gyllenhaal reach new heights with heartfelt drama

Brokeback Mountain, the much-buzzed-about new drama/romance, makes a powerful and timely statement. No matter how often some in society try to marginalize, denigrate or “amend” away the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community, love will always exist--whether it's between people of the opposite sex or people of the same sex, whether in rural or urban America. Brokeback Mountain isn't a “gay cowboy” story, as some in the media and pop culture have tried to portray it--it's an American love story, plain and simple.

Dick Clark's Ball Drops

New Year's Eve around the dial

There are plenty of good reasons to watch TV on New Year's Eve--not the least of which is it's the only way to settle arguments over whose watch has the correct time. If you don't use the Idiot Box as tiebreaker, you'll have people shouting “Happy New Year” at a dozen different intervals.

music

Music to Your Ears

Born in New Mexico, Based in Austin—Rock 'n' rollers The Dirty Hearts may not live in New Mexico any more, but that doesn't mean they can't come back for a visit every now and again. The Dirty Hearts are originally from Española (Low Rider Capital of the Free World!), where they joined forces after each member's former bands "either got jobs or pregnant" roundabouts of 2002. They've since moved on to the exponentially more fertile musical pastures of Austin, Texas, but they'll be coming back New Mexico-way on Friday, Dec. 30. Too bad the gig's in Santa Fe. Regardless, this band is worth the drive. They'll play at the Second Street Brewery (1814 Second Street, Santa Fe) sometime after 9 p.m., along with singer-songwriters Calida and Billy Bartley. Don't let the odd booking shake you—just check them out at www.myspace.com/thedirtyhearts. And note to The Dirty Hearts: Next time, come to Albuquerque instead.

DJ Lowkey

The reigning king of the eargasm gives us one more spin before a self-imposed hiatus

You'd be hard-pressed to find a local DJ with a musical taste as all-embracing as DJ Lowkey. After spinning for 20 years, nine of them spent in Albuquerque and five as the house DJ at Raw, Lowkey (aka Philip C. Pino) will get a chance to get back to his eclectic roots at Gulp on New Year's Eve, before taking a breather from the DJ biz.

The Reverend Horton Heat

with Jackass

Tuesday, Jan. 3; Launchpad (21-and-over), $15: The hardest working man in Punkabilly, The Reverend Horton Heat, is making his annual appearance in Albuquerque, and he's out to prove that, as far as grimy boot-stompin' licks that you can booze to go, they don't come any better than the Rev's. 2004's Revival is a blistering reminder of the Reverend's roots and commitment to his live, loud-ass show. The album comes complete with some new licks, including a mystery track that, although its name remains unknown to the Reverend's loyal listeners, is sure to kick you in the teeth with a steel-stringed size 12.

Flyer on the Wall

... And that's before the "special goat dance" competition. Have a New Year's Eve bash to remember through pieced-together accounts of what your friends tell you later with Black Maria, Unit 7 Drain and Sin Serenade. It's free, over-21 and at Burt's Tiki Lounge. Balls! (LM)

Behind the Scenes with Midget Mogul Productions

Meet Midget Mogul Productions, a mighty little music promotion team headed by a man named Peter Martin. Peter is the guy who coordinated the first successful Nob Hill bar crawl this past October, uniting every bar and restaurant in the "Haunted Hill" neighborhood under a progressive circuit with live music at each stop along the way. Peter hopes to continue that momentum at this weekend's Nob Hill New Year's Eve Crawl (see "Lucky 7" for details).

Arrhythmia

Fast Heart Mart's Martin Stamper marches to the beat of a different mutant

Little did you know that Martin Stamper, half the guts behind enigmatic acoustic duo Fast Heart Mart, is the reluctant parent of his own record label, which will be on display at the New Year's Eve Mutant Mariachi showcase at the Blue Dragon. Bet you didn't know he has a pacemaker, either.

art

Culture Shock

Spot of Tea—John Cacciatore, owner of Dartmouth Street Gallery, takes tea-time seriously. Recently, at his home just west of Downtown, I sat down with him at a table specially designed for serving tea. He let me sniff a beaker full of oolong that he got on a recent trip to Asia, informing me that it's quite possibly the best tea to be had anywhere in Albuquerque.

Vacation in Spain

Picasso to Plensa at the Albuquerque Museum

It's been a long, strange trip through time and across space, but the journey is almost over. In April of this year, the Albuquerque Museum unveiled its swanky, expanded new digs with the first in a trio of exhibits designed to dig deep into the history of Spanish art. This project was both ambitious and expensive, especially for a city Albuquerque's size, but city leaders and museum administrators put a lot of muscle into it because these exhibits are the crowning element of Albuquerque's Tricentennial celebration, a testament to the inestimable role Spanish culture has played in the history of our fine city.

Thugs 'R' Us

Queens Reigns Supreme: Fat Cat, 50 Cent, and the Rise of the Hip-Hop Hustler

food

All the News That's Fit to Eat

Best and Worst Brands for Equality—I'm all excited because the Human Rights Campaign (you know, the nonprofit responsible for those ubiquitous square blue and yellow "="stickers) just came out with a new consumer buying guide geared towards the GLBT community. It's called Buying for Equality: A Guide to Companies and Products That Support Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Equality. The information for rating companies listed in the guide comes from the HRC's 2005 Corporate Equality Index, which researched policies and procedures that affect employees at Fortune 500 and Forbes 200 companies. (Companies with less than 500 employees were not included in the research.)

Chez Axel

Quiche and cassoulet: Have a bite to eat, s'il vous plâit?

There's plenty to love about the French—the food, the wine ... Gerard Depardieu. (Hey, what would '80s comedy have been like without him?) And, of course, there are the beautiful, lilting refrains of a shared conversation en français over a café au lait and a nice plate of crêpes Suzette. The next time you dine out in a snazzy French place, try a few of your own: "Vous avez de la ciboulette sur votre dent" (You have a chive stuck on your tooth), or maybe "Est-ce que vous êtes ivre?" (Are you drunk?)

Worst. Party. Ever.

Shun friends and alienate people with your own Asshole's Tea Party

The "Teddy Bear's Picnic" is a song they teach kids at daycare. I don't really even know if it's a song, to tell you the truth. It might be a card game. All I know is that bears are dangerous.

The Best Local Food Books of '05

Just as its name implies, The Spicy Food Lover's Bible should be kept as a pantry staple for hot-heads, filed right alongside the garam masala, hot sauce and red chile flakes. "Pope of Peppers" Dave Dewitt (editor of Fiery Foods & BBQ magazine) and expert partner-in-peppers Nacy Gerlach investigate the hot stuff from every angle, penning a hardbound school of spice that delves into the science, history, geography, nutrition and flavors of piquant foods everywhere. The Bible's collection of recipes is extensive and takes its inspiration from virtually every heat-seeking place on the planet.

Alibi V.14 No.51 • Dec 22-28, 2005

feature

It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over

The Alibi's New Year's Guide

The end is upon us, but it's not here yet. The wrapping paper is still piled on the floor, and there's enough turkey in the freezer to feed a family of six for weeks. It's been a stressful year, topped with a maddening holiday season, but, finally, 2005 is on its last legs.

New Year's Resolutions

A reference guide

Once the partying is done and the hangovers cured, the guilt starts to set in. The daunting realization that it's the beginning of another year—a year you promised to make better than the last. To make this compact, clip-out New Year's Resolutions Guide as productive as possible, here's a bit of preliminary advice.

1) Your resolution should be something you have control over. Don't resolve to win the lottery. That's a wish, not a resolution.

2) Tell yourself you can accomplish your goal. It may sound silly, but part of doing something is believing you can do it.

3) Don't be afraid to ask for help. You are not alone in your battle. Find support groups, talk to your loved ones and seek out others with the same goals.

All right, here's a random, obviously incomplete list of organizations you might consider contacting to help make 2006 a successful new year.

New Mexico Sports and Wellness
858-1785

Designer Bodies Personal Training and Nutrition Management
899-1700

Albuquerque Technical Vocational Institute (TVI)
224-3000

Yamaha Music School
293-5698

24-Hour Addictions Referral Network
(800) 577-4393

LovinSpoonfuls: A Cooking School
292-3657

Financial Freedom of New Mexico, Inc.
889-9346

Arthur Murray School of Dancing
296-6112

Alcoholics Anonymous
266-1900

Toastmasters International
(888) 259-4235

Albuquerque School of Fine Arts
856-5159

Kays All Swim School
255-7946

Hypnotherapy Associates
296-1898

Career Enrichment Center
247-3658

Important New Year's Phone Numbers

Numbers you need to know to get your sorry butt home and out of trouble

Albuquerque Cab Co.
883-4888

Yellow Cab Co.
247-8888

A Fantasy Limousine
833-5466

Downtown Action Team
243-2230

AAA Bail Bonds
262-4222

Tattoos Erased
323-4033

Dent Express
255-1018

Pop-A-Lock
242-4550

Mr. Plumber
994-4444

Party Games

Your antidote to a dull New Year's Eve

Party games are fun for moderately sized groups, and are a good way to integrate and transform regular old drinking, eating, conversation and funny hats into end-of-the-year entertainment. Most of these games are—or are derived from—old parlor games and were attained from my new favorite website, wikipedia.org (thanks, wikipedia!). Happy New Year and watch out for falling ammunition.

news

The Place in Nob Hill

Redevelopment in Nob Hill takes off, and ticks off some area residents

Nob Hill is waiting for something spectacular. Already one of Albuquerque's favorite shopping destination points (and many people's favorite living destination points), the corridor seems destined for bigger things. Like playing host to a light rail system that the city aims to plop down in coming years, or moving forward with more infill development, higher walkability and, therefore, more pedestrian traffic. In fact, running neck-and-neck only against East Downtown (EDo), Nob Hill has a chance to be the premiere location for new urbanism in the state. And it may all begin with The Place.

A Culture of Fear

A special Council meeting on Dec. 12 provided a public forum on the city's All Hazards Emergency Operations Plan. The plan addresses wars, floods, earthquakes, fires, hazardous materials, infrastructure damage, civil disturbances, epidemics, energy shortages, major plane crashes, terrorism, severe snowstorms, water shortages, bus and train accidents, tornadoes and landslides. But all the public wanted to talk about was radioactive threats. Councilors Debbie O'Malley and Brad Winter were excused.

Cutting and Running

I swear, sometimes the Republicans are just too clever for their own good. Karl Rove, the brain behind the Bush White House, has built an enviable record as a successful strategist largely on his talent for capturing in just a few words the conventional wisdom about a person or situation.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Germany—If you're looking for the holiday spirit, Germany may not be the place to find it. A department store Santa on his way home from work was beaten by stressed-out shoppers in Wiesbaden. Stefan Stettler, 31, was still in character and chatting with other passengers while waiting for his train home. Police say two men, apparently stressed after a full day's Christmas shopping, went ballistic when asked to “tell Santa what they want for Christmas.” The men took Stettler's sack of presents and beat him over the head with it. Stettler broke several fingers trying to protect himself. “Around this time of year, shoppers seem to get this glint in their eyes and you can just see they are going to go off any minute,” Stettler said. “I should have known better. But, come on, who beats up Santa Claus?” Police are still searching for the unknown assailants.

art

Culture Shock

Old Stuff—The annual Santa Fe Winter Antiquities Show is a holiday tradition 'round these parts. This year it's moving to El Museo Cultural (1615 Paseo de Peralta, in the railyard). As always, expect a wide range of the finest antiques from Asia, Europe, Africa and the Americas—from books to paintings to jewelry to furniture. A gala preview on Wednesday, Dec. 28, from 6 to 9 p.m. will benefit Kitchen Angels, a charity providing home-meals to homebound members of the Santa Fe community. The gala is $50 per person, which includes cocktails and canapés along with entrance to the show for the remainder of the weekend. The actual event runs from Thursday, Dec. 29, through Saturday, Dec. 31. Admission is $10 per person, with three-day passes available for $15. Kids under 17 are free. For details, go to www.antiquities-shows.com.

Urban Art

Wall Scrawl at the Downtown Contemporary Art Center

It's often said that Albuquerque is a giant small town—and there's something to that statement. Yes, we've got a population of over half a million people, but the number of folks who actually venture into public on a regular basis seems fairly small. Most of us spend much of our time stuck in our cars, our offices, our living rooms.

Dirty Thursday

Tricklock Performance Space

Whether you've been naughty or nice, the Pajama Men will give you a little somethin' for Christmas. A Dirty Thursday improv show! Will they break out some red and green, reindeer-print jammies? Will Santa ride in on a drunken hippopotamus? Are aliens secretly hoarding all the mistletoe in Kansas? Anything is possible with these boys when the scripts are nonexistent and their wits are put to the test. The merriment starts at 8 p.m. on Thursday, Dec. 22, at the Tricklock Performance Space (118 Washington SE). Tickets are $10, and can be purchased at the door or by calling 254-8393.

The Joys of Teaching

An interview with Frank McCourt

Frank McCourt might be smiling these days, but the darkness within keeps leaking out. After publishing two best-selling memoirs about growing up poor in Ireland and moving to America, McCourt has just issued a third, Teacher Man, which chronicles the three decades he spent as an instructor in New York City schools. I recently had an opportunity to discuss with the 75-year-old Pulitzer Prize winner why teaching—not writing—was his salvation.

film

Reel World

The Chronicles Continue—No big surprise here, but after the large opening of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, Disney is rushing ahead with a sequel. Disney was hoping for a $60 million opening weekend, and wound up with even more than that. Plans for a Harry Potter-sized franchise are all but assured. (Just like Harry Potter, the Narnia books have seven volumes.) Seems that Disney is hoping to get The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian into theaters by December 2007.

Mirrormask

Arresting visual fantasy creates a nice place to visit, but you might not want to live there

For true fans, Dave McKean and Neil Gaiman, the minds behind the new fantasy film Mirrormask, need no introduction. For those who haven't followed the comic book industry for the last couple decades, Gaiman is the award-winning writer of the groundbreaking fantasy series Sandman. McKean is his longtime collaborator, the creator behind most of the elaborate cover art that graced the Sandman series over its long life. If, by chance, you've never read the Sandman series, I suggest you go out right now and purchase each and every issue.

The Producers

Movie-turned-musical-turned-movie-musical fails to produce solid entertainment

The Producers began life as a film by Mel Brooks. Shortly after Hairspray (a film by John Waters) became a big hit as a Broadway musical, The Producers was tapped as the next movie-to-stage surefire smash (proving that Hollywood isn't the only industry incapable of coming up with original ideas). The odd twist in the tale comes now that The Producers has been made back into a movie.

... And a Happy View Year

Christmas Day around the dial

Whether you're searching for something to pass the time while the coffee percolates and the kids wake up, or if you're just in the mood for some vegetative, post-present-opening entertainment, this year's Christmas Day television roster is filled with appropriate holiday treats.

music

Music to Your Ears

All-Ages Dance Party!—Snugfit Social Club will host its first all-ages DJ night at the Cell Theatre (First Street, just south of Lomas) this Friday, Dec. 23. The monthly indie/electro/disco/nuwave dance party will, as usual, be hosted by DJs Paul and Will, and will unusually also feature longtime Shack Up DJ from Denver Tim Garvey, plus other talents from the Albuquerque scene. They've got their hands full with two big rooms to fill, and this party won't stop until 3 in the morning. And did I mention it's all-ages? $5 gets you in, and "you can dance as insanely as you'd like," say the Snugfit boyz.

Miles Maeda

with DJs Eldon, Justin Roberts, Zaid and Carlos Zentella

Thursday, Dec. 22, 10 p.m.; Martini Grille (21-and-over), $5: As I entered Miles Maeda's website (milesmaeda.com) my computer's mouse immediately went into spinning-colorful-disk mode, which indicates that my computer needs a breather before it can allow me to click out of, into or do pretty much anything. This has happened many-a-time, especially when visiting band websites, and it usually results in my looking around pensively to see how annoyed my fellow Alibi pals have become from the blisteringly loud and obnoxious music that has taken over my computer and caused it to fall into paralysis. This time, however, my computer's ineptitude was not worrisome at all because the music flowing forth was up-tempo without being obtrusive. Maeda's opening web-track "So Hot" is a song that you can sip your drink to without getting a splitting headache from an inundation of noise pollution. Maeda, who is believed by many to be the major source behind Chicago's mushroom-jazz scene, has created electronica for the reasonably laid back. Although his songs are pretty different from one another, Maeda tends to find a groove and stick with it; pulling from genres as diverse as acid jazz, house, funk and R&B. Albuquerque's over-21 crowd can see the Hawaii native along with local act DJ Eldon at the Martini Grille. Fans of hip but unpretentious DJs should take note.

Flyer on the Wall

'Tis A Nightmare Before Xmas, an all-ages very merry metal show featuring Caustic Lye, Manias, Greenthroat, Cadaveric Engorgement and Torture Victim on Thursday, Dec. 22, at the Launchpad. Doors open at 7 p.m. Santa says, "Throw them horns high!" (LM)

The First Annual Funky Sweater Get Down Holiday Food and Clothing Drive

with Felonious Groove Foundation, DJ Chach and secret guests

Friday, Dec. 23, 8 p.m.; Moonlight Lounge (21-and-over), free (donations of food and clothing greatly appreciated): Grab the funkiest retro sweater you can find and head out to the Moonlight Lounge for the freshest holiday party in the Duke City. The Dish and Don Mickey Designs are putting on a holiday party/fundraiser with donations benefiting the Salvation Army. What'sthedish.com's Kevin Hopper says party attendees can donate their old-school attire while cutting-a-rug to Felonious Groove, DJ Chach and a special mystery band.

The Ground Beneath CD Release Party

Metal success never tasted so good

In less than a year and a half, The Ground Beneath has earned a full-page spread in the Albuquerque Journal, partied with hardcore metal gurus Seven Dust and recorded their first full-length LP with Grammy-nominated producer Tim Scroh at Step Bridge Studios in Santa Fe. I'd be lying if I said these twenty-somethings weren't residents of "Talent City," but, putting that aside, what, pray tell, is their secret to supercharged metal success? "Hard work pays off, I guess," Steve Civerolo, lead singer and guitarist for TGB aw-shucksily explains. "There's always naysayers. When we started, emo and sideways haircuts were big and what we were doing was the opposite of that and it wasn't well-received, but you keep rolling."

Other Than Auld Lang Syne

Old and new favorites for the New Year

While any compilation from MTV's "The Grind" will suffice, here are some more suggestions for your New Year's Eve party. The songs are in rough chronological order from the beginning of the evening to cleaning up at the end of the night.

food

New Year's Eve on the Menu

Don't drop the ball—make your reservation today

Remember when you partied like it was 1999? Well, how about making this New Year's Eve less about chugging peppermint schnapps, and more about having an elegant, grown-up dinner and a midnight toast with a n-i-i-ice flute of bubbly? Our ever-eating city is host to a bountiful bevy of multiple-course supper parties at some of the best spots in town, and for a few extra clams you can wine, dine and feel fine, all without swabbing the bathroom floor the morning after. Here's a list of the happening places to get your attention and your leftover holiday bread.